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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

" Me and my boy Frankie Liriano, V-mart, and Ol' Mikey Cuddyer are gonna go grab 10 cent hugiee juices at the bodega ." fantasy draft outcome



On a cool and sunny sunday afternoon as the sun was setting in the high march sky a group of really cool guys all came into my house sat on my couch and shit in my bathroom completed the 3rd ever V.S.F.B.L Fantasy Draft. As I sat in my official Commissioner chair (My dad's wheel chair) I uttered the 6 words that for 6 months will turn 12 people in to giant stat dorks and have conversations that no body cares about " Lets Start this Fucking Draft Already !". As those words were spoken for the world to hear, Girls everywhere received an internal message that we are all super cool and awesome a.k.a Nerds.
All 25 rounds were heavy with insults, goofy nicknames, curse words and phantom picks ( where someone will say one guys name and realize they were already drafted). Each fantasy manager deployed their own way of battle plan. Psychologically breaking down their opponent so that they can sneak out and draft a hidden star, a sleeper pick or a highly touted rookie. By round 20 most of those draft surgeons were just throwing out names that they remembered from Watching the Mlb network at 3am after a night of drinking.

The drafting order went as following, I'll use First names ,team names, And first round picks. 1-Joey (BackToBack)= Albert Pujols , 2-Chris ( Bones Tones)= Hanley Ramirez 3-Me (The MorganFreemans)=Roy Halladay 4- M.D ( The Great Hambinos)=Robinson Cano, 5-Rob(Jerry Piazzia31)=Carl Crawford, 6 Joe (joeye)= Joey Votto 7, Chester( Los culos gigantes)= Adrian Gonzalez, 8 Mikey ( Buster Cherry)= Evan Longoria , 9 Jimmy ( TheBlueberry Strudel)= David Wright, 10 Jack (pop That pussy)= Miguel Cabrera, 11 Mike( SheDougitwhenIFister)= Troy Tulowitski and 12 Kieth ( Explosive Renteria)= Ryan Braun

Basically this was an exercise in futility for 10 guys. We all know that My Brother Jimmy and I are going to be in the championship game. I have to say he had the one best draft of anyone that day or ever and I am going to be good because I have great pitching, great hitters, great defenders and I am super smart. So M.D and everyone else can suck it Check out our teams in comparison

The Morgan FreeMans
1b- Ryan Howard, Phi
2b- Neil Walker,Pitts
3b- Chris Johnson, Hou (sleeper )
ss- Starlin Castro- Chc
Of- Mike Stanton-Fla
Of - Adam Jones- Bal
Of - Torii Hunter-LAA (my dude from last year)
C- Mike Nappoli -Tex ( 25+ in La = 54 in Tex)
Utli- Kia Ka'aihue - K.C, 1b( Rookie Sleeper)
Bench- 2b Brain Robers Bal, OF Travis Snider Tor, Of Franklin Gutierrez-Sea, Of Nick Markakis Bal

Sp- Roy Halladay-Phi
Sp- Jon Lester-Bos
Rp - Mariano Riveria-NYY
Rp Carlos Marmol- Chc
P- Chris Carpenter-StL
P- Mat Latos- Sd
P- Fernando Rodney-LAA
p -Bret Cecil-Tor
p Nick Blackburn - Min
p-Ricky Romero-Tor
p- Michael Pineda-Sea ( Rookie )
p- Chris Capuano- NYM ( I had to have one)

The Great Hambinos
1b- Prince Fielder-Mil
2b-Robinson Cano-NYY
3b-Adrian Beltre-Tex
ss- Derek Jeter-NYY
Of-Austin Jackson-Det
Of- Hunter Pence-Hou
of Chirs Coughlin- Fla ( hopefully he doesn't blow his knee out by hitting someone in the face with shaving cream..Again)
c- Carlos Ruiz- Phi
Uti- James Loney- LAD
bench- Of Corey Hart-MIl, Of Denard Span-Min, 2b/ss Brendan Ryan-Sea, 3b Brandon Inge-Det, 1b,Of Brennan Boesch-Det, Of Matt Joyce-Tb

Sp- C.C Sabathia- NYY
Sp- Roy Oswalt- Phi
Rp- Andrew Bailey- Oak
Rp- Aroldis Chapman- Cin
P-Trevor Cahill-Oak( M.D's boy and a half)
P- Matt Garza- Chc
P- Ivan Nova -NYY

Advantages
Offense- Tie, Defense - M.D hands down, Starting Pitching - Me hands down, relief pitching - Me , and bench-Tie M.D has an offensive bench I have a pitching bench so we have to wait for the season to start . But his team is a Joke. My team is like the Er at the Jersey Shore full of Sick Playas .. But without the herpes .


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