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Friday, April 1, 2011

Guests Check Out At Noon

   I'm giving myself a three day weekend because I deserve it. 4 out of the 6 opening day games predicted correctly? I am the fucking Zeus of baseball. Anyways, we have a new logo up courtesy of one Mike DeQuatro, and as a way of saying thanks, we let him blog for today. Does it involve video games? Yes, it does. Is it super nerdy? Yes, it is. Do we appreciate him anyways? Sometimes. Good looks to Mikey for helping us out, enjoy your weekend, and keep an eye out for some cool shit coming next week.
P.S. Expect a drunken "Holy Shit how bad are the Mets?!" blog later, but maybe not.

Well well, looks like the Opening day so far is a great success. Here in New York the Yankees destroy the Tigers by 3, Braves beat the Nats, and the Reds come from behind 4 runs to beat the Brewers. But what I want to talk about, is another opening day, Today I started my MLB 2k11 Season as the Yankees. Now, I chose 2k over the Show for numerous reasons, like the fact that the graphics are a ton better than its competitor. Since MVP baseball was trashed, I went the opposite way as the PS3 fan boy’s cream over the show. The 2k gameplay is much cleaner, and more detailed then the show. So due to my hype for baseball this season, I will be playing a full run through of the Yankees season on the hardest difficulty, and I won’t lie about stats or any of that shit, simply because I don’t need to, I’m sick at games because I have no life, not because I cheat.
Season opener, Yankees for Tigers and were in for a big one. Game starts of semi strong, With Granderson hitting a deep ball, followed by the final out. CC comes out strong with only giving up 1 hit before the last out, which was a bloop single. Teix steps up against Verlander, and cracks the first pitch he sees, Yankees up 2 nothing. 4th inning comes…and the worst thing happens, after 3 innings of no hits since the first, C.C gets hurt after throwing a 0-2 count to the first batter. Injury summery? A torn rotator cuff, out for 4-6 months. WHAT?!?!? MY ACE FUCKING PITCHER IS OUT FOR HALF THE SEASON?!? GOD DAMN IT. Right now I’m pissed, so I thought why not bring in some high heat, I warm up quickly one of my favorite Yankees, Joba. He sits down the 3 to get out of the inning, in which Swish gets leadoff stand up double, and he’s brought it with an RBI single by Andruw Jones. Jeter and Martin go down easy, following Gardner. 5th and 6th are very quit, only Cano scores off of an RBI double from A-Rod. Yanks up 4-0. The big 7th inning comes, with working with a bases loaded, Teix sends in 2 with a gap single, what a slow mother fucker he is in this game. Granderson brings in 2 with a double, right before swisher brings him in. a 5 run inning to give the Yankees a 9-0 lead. In which I keep Joba in, and he destroys the rest of the game until a single is hit with 1 out, but that turns into a double play. Game over, Yankees win, THEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!
Short break, Padres just beat the Cardinals…Fuck Pujols. He had a great game, grounding out into 3 double plays…Three! Guess he’s not that perfect on opening day.

Back to the Action. Second day, Burnett vs Scherzer. Gardner pops up, I see Cano come up to bat, felt kind of odd that he hasn’t hit a home run since the 5th to last game of spring training, just when I say that. BOOM a MONSTER upper deck shot to right, kicking off this game with a loud bang! Scherzer gets revenge and sits down Teix and A Rod. AJ comes up and lets up just one, before Striking out 2 and giving Jeter a vintage jumping throw to first. Granderson comes up to bat, after hitting a home run on opening day- what?!?! He goes DEEP again! Two homers in the first two games, I’m hyped at this point. Sometime later in the 6th, Cabrera gets a messed up pitch right down the middle, as I’m screaming fuck because I know It wont end well, an 86 mile an hour fastball, I watch as the ball gets sent into the bleachers. It doesn’t bother me, I’m still up by 1 when I end the inning shortly after, with a double play. Granderson comes to lead off the 7th, but strikes out looking. A horrible bullshit call, that was clearly off the outside of the plate. Swish comes up with his sexy ass sideburns, and swags he way to a blast to left field. As he trots the bases, I’m shocked it stayed fair, as it hooked right around the pole. 8th inning, Arod hits a long ball with 1 out. And when I say long, I mean L O N G, it was a beauty. Teix grounds out giving us two outs. Granderson gets on, and BOOM Swisher hits his 2nd homerun of the night. At this point im doing my classic, Oh my gods, as I watch the ball sail into the black center field. Jones gets sit down, and ends the inning, Giving me a 6-1 lead, as I keep Soriano in the game after putting him in the 7th. The final out was a slider on the hands of Cabrera, as he strikes out swinging. Yankees win, THEEEEEEEE Yankees win!
These last two games filled with excitement, not only has me excited for this season, but for the actual majors. I finally can get to sleep watching quick pitch on the MLB network. Giants games starting in a bit, and I have Posey playing on my sick fantasy team, along with my future utility player, Brandon Belt. I’m going to show M.D that he wont repeat, and he should get it out of his head.
Editors Note: My fantasy team is sick, I'm tired of these fools trying to get at me, if you shoot the king, you better kill the king. Also, none of us are getting laid from this post, none of us.

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