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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Milwaukee Brewers, Team to Beat in the NL Central

   For a long time, the Brewers seemed (to me at least) to be just another team floating around in the Major Leagues. As a Yankee fan, I'd never had to concern myself with them as competition, they only bounced onto my radar when fantasy baseball came around. This year though, the Brewers have a much different vibe. They've got a quietly solid team, and when Zack Greinke comes back they'll have a legit ace. Provided of course that his prescriptions are filled, no one criticizes him and he never appears on the back cover of a newspaper.
     They have Ryan "The Hebrew Hammer" Braun, who maybe can't play on High Holy Days (happy Passover my Jewish friends) but is a dominant player with a career .309 batting average. He can hit just about anything thrown at him, and seemingly put the ball wherever he wants. He was the 2007 Rookie of the Year, and has been an All-Star outfielder every year since then. The Sporting News list of the 50 best current ballplayers ranked him number 22 last year, fucking astounding. Braun has led the National League in all sorts of shit since he came up, and is a huge bat in the Brewers lineup. He also held back Prince Fielder once, an impressive motherfuckin' feat.
   Prince Fielder, despite being easily the second fattest current major leaguer (Bartolo Colon, you still hold one crown!) is also one of the best. Cecil's kid is in a walk year, so he's going to dominate. So far this year he's got a .338 batting average, 17 RBI's and 3 home runs. He's been an All-Star, hit 50 home runs in 2007 and is apparently a vegetarian. He can also get his teammates to do this. He's an all around great player, and again is a major part of why the Brewers are going to dominate the National League Central this year. P.S. I'm also not entirely convinced that Prince Fielder isn't Cee Lo Green, have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? I didn't think so.
Contrary to popular belief, the Brewers pitching staff is not too shabby either. They may not have the biggest name pitchers, but they've been fantastic so far this season. They're sporting a team and league best 2.99 ERA. Signing Zack Grienke was huge for the Brewers, despite his injury and history of crippling emotional problems (which for some reason crack me the fuck up.) he's one of the best pitchers in the game. Shaun Marcum's got a 1.90 ERA, he was a great pitcher for the Blue Jays, but playing for two small market teams he's gone totally under the radar. Randy Wolf has been great for the Brewers as well, with a 3.28 ERA and 25 strikeouts so far. Grienke is only going to make this staff better when he gets back, but it will be a lot of pressure, so go ahead and invest in some Zoloft, he's gonna need it.
    The Brewers also have that fuckin' awesome slide in their stadium. At first glance I thought it was one of the wackest things ever, but watching their highlights I'm 99.9% sure I would lose my shit every time that awkward mustachioed Scandinavian slid down that thing. Fresh off spanking Roy Halladay, something that doesn't happen to often, the Brewers are primed to make a big splash in the National League. The Brewers are no longer a joke, they're a major competitor in the NL Central, and looking to unseat the Cincinnati Reds, who might just steal their way to a pennant, but I'm going with the good old Brew Crew. You heard it here first folks (and I haven't been wrong about the A's so far), the Milwaukee Brewers are the team to beat. Besides, how can you not love a team that's based around slamming down beers?

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