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Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Red Sox Still Suck, The Las Vegas Dodgers? and a Few Other Thoughts

   Allegedly the Red Sox have stopped their losing streak and turned around their season. I don't believe that shit for one second. They're still 6-11, Carl Crawford is still 0- for the motherfucking season, and literally doing this all over the contract that the poor man's Brian Cashman, Theo Epstein gave him.Dustin Pedroia is the only person on that team who seems to be producing at all. Even though they've started winning, it's still embarrassing for a team with the second highest payroll in baseball to be sitting in the basement like I am right now.
    Is the curse back on? Are the Red Sox done? Probably not. Carl Crawford may have just been one thing too many. The Red Sox got all jumped up on how good they were going to be this season and bottomed out, just like my fucking softball team does every year, but that's for another day. They've got a team full of pitchers who are supposed to dominate, yet they've got a 5.42 ERA and can't seem to keep any other team from scoring. Granted, Josh Beckett is returning to old form (thanks for those fantasy stats last season you dick.) so that's a bright spot, but if the Red Sox keep playing the way they have been so far this season then expect them to continue to suck.
   So yesterday or thereabouts, Major League Baseball took control of the Los Angeles Dodgers from Frank McCourt, who is not the author of Angela's Ashes, but a bitter, cranky, almost divorced, terrible GM. The Dodgers have just gone downhill since McCourt took over the team in 2004, becoming a legitimate Money Pit with bloated terrible contracts overshadowing low key, talented players like my dude James Loney. The Dodgers attendance has been going downhill for years, and lack of playoff success isn't making it any easier on the team.
   Remember when the Expos became the Nationals? Or any time Major League Baseball expands? The first city to come up to get a team is always Las Vegas. How pissed would this make Dodgers fans? Very I'm sure. Las Vegas is probably a terrible place to establish a Major League team, even one with a large following. Vegas is literally the most out of hand place I've ever been. There are absolutely no rules, and I could not imagine being a resident of that city without developing all sorts of terrible habits. But, if MLB was to move the Dodgers there, they have a perfect player-manager in Paul LoDuca. He's already been a Dodger, and sticking that crazy motherfucker in Las Vegas he'd gamble that team into financial security. Granted, he'd probably lose the team to the Russian Mob pretty quick, but it'd be the most disciplined team in baseball.
       I'm actually starting to feel bad for the New York Mets. As a Yankee fan, I never had anything against them really, at least not since 2000, but it's just depressing to read the paper. They can't seem to buy a win. R.A. Dickey, that Bruce Springsteen looking mother fucker, tried hard, but the rest of the team just isn't good. David Wright is a solid player, but the past few seasons just hasn't had it. I've always hated Jose Reyes, the epitome of a bum. He only hits, fields, or runs when he wants to, and his heart just clearly isn't in the Mets anymore. I'm sure Bryan's going to give me shit for saying all this, but it has to be said. I'm aware that they're entering into a "rebuilding phase" but it just sucks to watch. Playing baseball this badly they're attendance is way down, the team is hemorrhaging (50 cent word) money, and might get purchased by the Entourage dudes. At least they'll fill the stadium with hot women, something that hasn't happened since Paul LoDuca.Godspeed New York Mets, Godspeed.
   Also, I have to apologize to my super cool girlfriend, who probably is our most loyal/only reader. It was her birthday yesterday and I totally neglected to mention it on here, Happy Belated Birthday April!

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