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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Since when are baseball analysts bros? Bro'nalysts here to stay or here just to give you a mental high five after home runs ?

Just when you thought the High Five was dead and the fist bump was a thing of the past. The big networks have enlisted the power of bros to help their broadcasters seem like cool
guys .

Many of you are like me and watch countless hours of the MLB network , or Espn's Baseball tonight and Sports center. Have you noticed a slight trend for the betterment? Now I can understand most of you saying , " I totally disagree with you."," You're an Idiot,," and " Besides from being roguishly handsome,athletically gifted in 9 out of 10 sports and charming but your hypothesis is completely obtuse and wildly brash," ( that last one was a pick me up the Mets totally wet the bed tonight against the Phillidildos . So I needed that.) But if you hear me out I think I can help you understand where I am coming from.

A few years back baseball analysts were stuffy, well educated guys who had no sense of humor and they just knew the facts and thats it nothing else . It was like talking to someone about soccer or swimming, yeah they might know their stuff but after the first 4 minutes of them talking about it you just stop caring and fade into a slight coma until they stop talking. Usually analysts were former big leaguers who graduated from college and were basically to smart for their own good. Which would make them dull and boring because they wanted to prove how smart they are.

Then the heavens opened up and gave us John Kruk. Kruky was the leader of Macho Row which was code for 90% of us take steroids. John Kruk didn't go into his gig on Baseball tonight trying to out smart the color guy ( The nerdy guy who never played or Gm'ed ) he just went out there and spoke like a true blue collard dude. He talked to the audience like if he was at a bar and was watching the game with a shit ton of wings and tater skins washing it down with a pitcher of Coors Original to himself. He was the first of the Bro'nalysts.

In 2009 the MlB Network was launched and they stacked the deck with Bro'nalysts. Lets name the biggest bro's of that network- Harlod Reynolds, Dan Pleasac , Mitch Williams, Eric Byrnes , Sean Casey , and The biggest bro of all Kevin Millar.
Millar is such a bro and a half. The Mlb network gave him his own show to just be a bro. Intentinal talk is all about how baseball players do their stuff and I don't know, I really never understood why they needed another talk show when they got Hall of fame bro Bob Costas (please watch the full video ) doing studio 42. But the big wigs over there just looked at each other figured that the best way to just solidify their specific demographic is to give the great Kevin Millar his own show.

The thing is I'm pretty sure I hang out with these guys. I'm not kidding they talk about baseball like how people who know us and hang out with us ( M.D and my self) talk about baseball. With an unapologetic view point, obvious favorites, and random techniques demos that have no real reason of being shown except for the fat that you and only you know how to do it. Actually thinking about it MLB Network have about 4 of the biggest bro's along with Millar. Casey, Brynes, and Reynolds. I have a feeling that around that studio these guys are running around with nerf guns , water balloons, trying to make their point by basically shouting at the top of their lungs while hitting one hand against the other like a back handing clap and probably shit talking about chicks and other bro like topics as they wear fitted hats backward as they check out and try to guess that ass.

Not saying theres anything wrong with that. I do that if I was working for any of the Sports networks I'd be the biggest Bro'nalyst ever . I bet if you take a deeper look at your self and cut through your denial you would find out that your bro'esque.
Hell our past 3 presidents are bro's. Even women can be bro's. Being a Bro is not a bad thing unless you're a totally douche or a Phillies fan.... Im kidding douches are ok. To be honest I lost train of thought half way through this but you guys understand we're bro's.

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