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Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Statler and Waldorf of baseball Strike again! The first month of baseball has been ...... Well its not good, but not that bad .Get it



OK Lets hear it ! Lets just get it out of the system Yankees fans. Yes, The Mets suck right now. There is so little redeeming them right now. The Mets are a lowly 5-13. But I want to hate on some teams right now that are doing much better then the Mets. So strap in this is about to get bumpy. Whats going to happen is I am going to call out a team and then do my thing. Basically its me blowing off steam because I will probably write or have probably written about the team or person I call out and say they are awesome. I'd be nicer if the Mets started 13-5 but thats not the world we live in. Ok Lets do this .

Hey Boston Red Sox-Congrats on getting your first Road win. That must be so awesome for
you since you can't beat a bunch of young guns in a stadium in which you used to own in. Just because I wrote about you on monday doesn't mean you get a free pass didn't you read the intro . How does it feel that you just sank a lot of money into John Lackey and his bust of an arm? Why is JD Drew still on your team ? Is he really that important to your Championship quest or are you waiting until Vald becomes a free agent again to fulfill your need of terrible outfielders? Yeah now you know . ( Thats my tough talk . I am that mad . )

Hey Minnesota Twins-Umm Whats going on ? Are you guys still playing baseball or are you waiting until Joe Mauer gets his overrated ass off the D.L ?
Hey San Francisco Giants-

Your Outfield is God awful. Pat Burrell , Aaron Rowand and Cody Ross? What the hell! You play in side of a state park you should atlas have one guy who can run to the ball faster then how I run to an Ice cream truck ... Which is fast. You have to be the biggest collection of Douche bags in the league. I am so sick of hearing about how good your team is when we all know the Rockies are going to take it all this year. Brian Wilson Its time to shave man . That shit cant be comfortable, Buster Poesy Hit puberty all ready its really weird you haven't, and Tim Lincecum You only won one Cy young straight up. If Wainwright and Carpenter were on two different teams I doubt you'd be that cool.
Hey St.Louis Cardinals - For a Team I hear so little about and who has such a great line up . Your Manager is such a dick . Not because Joe Buck has been attached to his dangling participle since he was 26 but the fact Tony Larussa knew about steroids and lied about it. How do you have both McGwire and Conesco (I will spell his name wrong because I don't respect him). Just awful and why are your fans so nice its weird .

Hey Dustin Mosely - I bet you still wish you were pitching for the Yankees. At least they scored runs for you . The Padres put up nothing for you that sucks man . But your in the bigs but since your in San Diego You might as well be in the minors . Era of 1.40 and like no wins thats sucks man.

Hey Oakland A's-
You're really not that good yet . Your 9-9 and the two top teams of your division are humming along while your just trying to make a name for your self. Instead of acting like your good why don't you beat shitty teams. See with the Mets we don't act like we are the best we're not and we play like it. Don't just be Hype get your wins early and often




Hey Roy Halladay-
What the hell man! I picked you first because you don't give up 6 runs to the fucking Brew Crew. There is no way I am going to finish behind My brother or J-mart. You gotta bring it next time and noter No hitter shall be good.







Hey MlbTv- Why do you have to be so expensive. I really want to use you but I don't have that kinda money lying around. How awesome is it that I can see games on the West and not miss and games if I am at work . We should bargain , I will give you like $4 and write good things about MlbTv and you just let me have a life long subscription . Does that work for you? It works for me (HINT HINT !).... Well, it was worth a shot.

Hey Bobby Parnell-

Yeah you knew this was coming... Dude what the fuck man. You have a great fastball and a great slider but a shit mentality. I just cant continue this. Enjoy your 15 day stint you'll miss the Colorado series so that will help you out.You get to miss out on the New Chipper Jones Just come back throwing gas. That bullpen needs the real you.

Hey M.D-Yeah you! How can you write an article about the Brewers and mention Prince Fielder without using this video ? Shotty work my friend.

Ok thats it. I cant really hate anymore . Just so much but the words wont form in my brain. I'd like to end with saying Happy birthday to our Loyalist reader M.D's Girlfriend she doesn't have a pen name yet or maybe she does I honestly don't know. If you would like a shout out on the Phantom you know what you have to do. Hit us up at Phantom Ballplayer on Facebook and let us know what you think or whatever it would be nice to hear from our readers. Especially our over seas readers say whats up in your native language I found the translator on google so I have been playing around with that . I now know how to say "bro" in 6 different languages ( Irish, German,Italian,French,Polish, and Malay) . Keep on reading sooner or later there will be good baseball to write about .

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