Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Any Guy Who Starts a "U.S.A." Chant at the Bar This Weekend is Getting Laid, Garunteed.
Texas Rangers, and having to be in a division where the San Francisco Giants are considered to be "good". Anyway, good for you Andre Ethier, there isn't a chance of you breaking DiMaggios' streak, but it's nice to watch anyways.
The Detroit Tigers have the ugliest named players in the history of Major League Baseball. Without question. Daniel Schlereth? Are you fucking kidding me? That sounds like the noise someone would make if they were sneezing blood. Al Albuquerque? I forgot that it's OK to sign Looney Tunes characters to Major League Contracts. Scherzer? Inge? Boesch? It gets worse and worse. The Detroit Tigers: 2011's worst named team, hands down.
Hey guess what! We reached our pageviews goal, so we're throwing a goddamned motherfuckin party featuring all sorts of cool shit. Official and complete details will be here soon, and on our facebook page sometime later this week. So thanks to all of you with too much free time, we're super psyched over here today.