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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

If Pittsburgh can end the season in 3rd place they should have a parade in the burgh



It hasn't been a great run for the darlings of the Nl central Pittsburgh Pirates lately the winners of none of 10. Yeah thats right they have lost 10 games straight. This late hot streak of sucking has pretty much hurt the Pirates chances for a serious push for october baseball. Which lets face it we all weren't expecting them to make the playoffs when the Brewers and Cardinals remembered that they are actually good and Cincinnati is poised to cause some shit in september?


The Pirates best show of making the playoffs kinda breaks down like every seasons NFL football wild card thing breaks down because A. The only shot is the wild card and B if the Pirates can make a chase for the wild card that would probably the event that the Mlb needs to get a whole bunch fans back from the edge. Think I am kidding. Lets look at like a casual fan who is looking to go out and be bored at some shitty bar their girlfriend brings them to because her and her crew haven't had girls night in like sooooo long and need a DD. So what are you
Gonnaa watch bro ? You girlfriend and her friends drunkly bounce around shouting Wooooo and dancing to the latest usher( I hhaven'thit the club in a while so Is usher still relevant) .
As you read it you think to your self " Well yeah I mean its girls grinding on girls so its something kinda ." But when you really see it in real time it's only interesting for like five minutes , you start looking around the place and see there are a few other hot girls around but you feel the heat from like 7 pissed off girls all giving you the death eye for looking around so you can't even scope the place for talent. So you turn your head to the bar and look at the tv and read the closed captions ( the only way to watch anything on Espn ) you read up on the story of the 2011 Pirates. Images of Rudy start to fill your head , you start to remember your little league team that made a run to the championship, or when someone told you that you weren't good at anything and blah blah blah you know the deal. Scrappy players fucking up all those older players who get all the breaks.

It's turning the establishment on its ear and thats What the Pirates could have been this year but really they have no shot. They honestly have to hope that the Braves, Cards, Brewers, Reds, Giants, D-backs, Marlins, Rockies, and yes the Mets all fall apart in the remaining 50 some odd games. So yeah playoff baseball should be the last thing on their mind. And what should be on their minds?

Getting over .500 and messing with the teams in the wild card hunt. Mainly the Nl central. If the Pirates can win at least 20 of these last games. It would give them over 70 and is a vast
improvement and really shouldn't be looked as a failure that they never made it pasted september. They will break the streak of 20 years of just being terrible. You do realize that the Pirates will break their streak before the Cubs who have so much more talent and so many hall of fame type managers break their streak. So thats another thing Pittsburgh has over Chicago goes along with Stanley Cups, Super Bowl trophies, and (Insert Ben Rapelesburger joke here) I couldn't really think of a good one.
This seems adequate enough to end it right here I mean how much can I really go on about this ? If I prattle on about the Pirates I will probably start insulting them and I don't want to do that. I could go on about how your girlfriend hates you and would rather make out with her girlfriends instead of you but I enjoy your readernessship and I am pretty sure I might catch shit for this I am like 50-50 that I will get some like super combo bitch fit... Successfully cementing me as a single guy whenever I end this sentence. What ever borsch I am just gonna go around and I don't know I gave up on this whole joke thing after the Power range link I thought that was like really clever so anything I write from now on will have less impact. Just like the Pirates pretty good early a little shaky in the middle , make one last stand and end with a power ranger reference.


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