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Saturday, September 24, 2011

I know I know here it is the long awaited recap...The New Girl !!!

                     
    This is the most original, quirky, and inventive new show out there. Zooey Deschanel drops her uninspired monotoned voice to play a hipster chick who moves into a pretty sweet pad with 3 bros 2 white guys and a black dude( to be determined). They Laugh they cry they learn  and they say things with their mouth about stuff I could honestly care less about.

   Its Week two Phuck  heads Lets do this. 

So week two brought out the whopping stick to those who weren't good enough to make it to the final round of the Madden Nation vote. Which If the rest of the nations in the world were as organized and level headed as Madden Nation is.   I am pretty sure there would be just war every where. But what ever Lets recap some football.


   The Chiefs V. The Lions- Kansas City season is over or we might be watching the greatest underdog story since the little engine that  could. Their defense is in shambles, their star running back is done for the year,  Matt Cassel  and Dwayne Bowe   have looked  like they have just met each other a few days ago. Sadly they ran into the buzz saw known as the Lions. Matthew Stafford is burning up corner backs every time he drops back and Megatron  is cool with it. The Chiefs play The Chargers and the Lions play The Vikings. Can the Lions keep up the streak of  dropping 40pts  on fools this sunday?


      The Raider V  The Bills-For some reason people where hyped about this game. Yes, they both won their week 1 match ups but it was against teams with shitty defenses. Both teams  star running backs had big games but only one could win and after a shaky first half the Bills surprised the nation by squeaking out a 3pt victory. The Raiders play the Jets and The Bills play the Pats. So both teams are going to get beat but  the Bills will put up a good fight to be slapped by Tom " Even though I'm trying really hard to look like Justin Bieber  and still have regular  sex with someone who is hotter then the sun." Brady  in the end.



           The Jets v The Jaguars-I was sure for the first 4 quarters  that the Jets flew in a high school team until lil' Grineke  the new kid at work told me that the Jaguars are still a pro team. But you could have fooled everyone. 4 pick, a safety and I think Rex Ryan ate MJD. The Jets flat out owned shoppe on these guys. It hurt to listen to. The Jaguars play the Panthers in the meow-mix bowl and the Jets like I said before play the Raiders.



 
       The Steelers V. The Seahawks-After last weeks humiliating loss against the Ravens. The Steelers were looking to put a hurt on the next team that got in their way. And  the one thing that Ben Roethliesbeger does better then playing football is forcing himself on people. I guess he stepped in on the defense's meeting and gave them a few pointers because they went off shutting out the poorly put together Seahawks.  Pete Carroll looked like he wanted to go back to USC and get sanctioned by the NCAA just to get away from the Steelers defense. The Steelers play the Colts in a sunday night beat down and the Seahawks play the high flying Cardinals.





        The Cowboys V 49ers-Man back in the way back this game would have been hot fire but sadl  now its just a game where the Douches had a late win against the under achievers. But I have to admit this game had its moments. With all the scoring and the comebacks and the well I caught this on recap so it looked good. I did find it funny that since Romo's  toughness gets questioned what
seems like every week  when he came back with the cracked rib and lead his team to victory  and  everyone on the sidelines were saying "Romo  came back with out the pain shot , he is sooo  tough " and Jerry Jones who seemed to miss the memo said something like " What are you guys saying he got the pain shot I seens  it my self" I am paraphrasing of course but that what happen.  The       Cowboys play the  Redskins who try to win their second divisional game  of the front 9 and the 49ers   take on the Bengals in a I love the 80's matchup that no one cares about.

       The Giants V. The Rams-I was super pumped because I only missed like 5 snaps in this game. I rushed home from work threw off my work pants and threw on my giants shorts. And parked it right in front of my new tv . This had to be the sloppiest game I have ever seen. The Giants were going to win this game the defense was too good. But they did everything in their power to lose that game. But Lucky for them The Rams didn't want that game anyway. The Giants limp in to Philly to play the Dream team and The Rams play The Ravens who might actually show up this week.

        The Falcons V. The Eagles-I think there was a game between these two. All I saw and heard the whole time was that Michael Vick played there  at one time and something happened with a dog or something. But after that nonsense they talked about houses but the game was pretty good. Matt Ryan showing Atl  what he is about again. Going big money to ToGo for two touchdowns in the redzone.  Now the Dream team's prefect season has been ruined so they will take their over blown hype against the G-men in their home opener so the brakes are off they are blowing up  big and the Flacons play the Bucs  in another young gun show down.

    The Patriots V. The Charger-Tom Brady was Tom Brady . Is that good enough for everyone? Good.

   So that was the long awaited recap of week two. I am going to make a slalom vow to you Phucks  that after Week 3 I will give you guys a recap by at least thursday.  Plus I will end every football post with a picture of an Nfl cheerleader. Cheap Trick yes I know but you like it so shut up.















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