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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Do I have to ? ok Week 7 recap


  This was possibly the worst week of match ups since the history of football. Not one game was really worth watching but since this is my thing that I do I guess I will have to recap on this crap, the Giants did even play ugh. By the way before I  jump into this recap I would like to take some time to congratulate the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals on their game 7 victory last night. The most improbable  championship run in the game. From being 9 games out of the Wild card to over take the Braves to get in to the playoffs, to upset the heavy favorite Phillies , then beat could have been feel good choice of the Brewers  and then come back in an epic way against the Buffalo Bills of baseball the Texas Rangers go to the dance two years in a row and lose both. But  needless to say I have to recap week 7.

Lets do this ...

   Broncos V. Dolphins-  The birthplace of Tebowing.  Everything was scripted for the Broncos to have a comeback win. The Dolphins honoring the National Champion Florida Gators which Tebow  played for so that wasn't awkward at all, the Dolphins  defense shutting down after the 3rd quarter, and Tim Tebow  having a heart that was touched by the all mighty. Tebow  and his blessed bunch managed to come back and tie the game and win in over time with a long kick. Thus Tebowing  was born due to him praying on the sideline. The Tebow's come home to play the Lions and the Dolphins take their show on the road to play The Giants.

    Texans V. Titans-The battle for the South crown belongs to the Texans. Schaub  and the boys dropped a hefty 41 points on the Titans. Under preforming running back Chris Johnson only had 46 total yards. Well, off from his average of 100 yards last year. But on the other side the Fantasy question mark Arian Foster had over 234 yards, 115 and 2 td's rushing and only 119 yards receiving with only 1 td a  mediocre performance.  But the Texas are holding strong in first place looking to make it to their first post seasons in franchise history.

   Panthers V. Redskins-Cam Newton got his second win so just give him the MVP right now. Another plus 200 yard passing and 60 yard rushing clearly on his way to be the second coming of Donavan McNabb . And for the 2011 NFC east champion Redskins they steadily make their way back to where they belong. The bottom of the division.   John Beck made his first start in over what 4 years and to the surprise of the Redskins was average. But the injury bug pulled into the nations capital and taking out the Redskins #1 running back and #1 wide out. Both Santana Moss and Tim Hightower are going to be out for a significant amount of time. The Panthers take on the Vikings and the Redskins take the Bills.

   Vikings V. Packers-So the Packers perfect season train just keeps on rolling. But the have to sure up that defense when the playoff come around. It was 33-27 thats not good when playing against a 1-5 team. The Vikings have started up the Ponder era which looks to be a prosperous one. Ponder showed poise and a good arm with A.D  and a better draft next season maybe a top pick wide out they have a shot to come around. But they have to get a better head coach, he made some questionable calls late in the game. The Vikings take on the Panthers and the Packers take on the bye week.

   Lions V. Falcons- Whats going on with the Lions lately. I understand they dropped two in a row in close games but what is their deal after the game ends first it was hand shakes now its smack talk they are just acting like dicks or so other people say they are. Frankly I don't care as long as they make the playoffs. This game had its moments. Matt Ryan almost got his leg broken, Clavin Johnson is probably the best wide out in the game to date, and ToGo is climbing the all time catch list. The Lions are looking to rebound against a weak ass defense in Denver and the Flacons go on the bye.  I feel bad if they say shit about Timmy Tebow  they wont make it out of Denver alive.

   Cowboys V. Rams-Is it any surprise that the Cowboys just straight out dominated A.J. Feely  and the Rams? Exactly the 0-6 Rams have been a bigger disappointment then Tony Romo  in the 4th.  Though Romo  can't take all of the credit like normal, the rookie running back DeMarco Murray who is now Mikey  favorite player of all time. Here is a prediction of what Mikey  will say " Yo, Murray Dez  and Romo  are the  new Emmitt  Irvin and Aikman ! I don't care they played a terrible team they are the Cowboys man thats how they get their wins". Thats right the Cowboys have only beaten terrible teams the only team that was good was the 49ers and that was week 2. This week they play the Eagles who are kind of on a comeback tour so this will be the line in the sand for the Cowboys. They beat Philly they are a team they lose they are hype.  The Rams take on the Saints who have no problem beating on no win teams.

   Saints V. Colts-I wish they started the flex schedule for this one. It was  really bad, well that was too nice it was a shit show. It was 62-7! That is gross the worst part about this game is that the Saints pulled their starters by the end of the 3rd and they still scored two touchdowns. If the Colts we are panicky franchise like the Cowboys and the Raiders that whole team would be shot in the back of the head behind the stadium. Enough of this recap it was bad. The Colts play the Titans and the Saints play the Rams. Hopefully they don't drop another 60.

    Jets V. Chargers-The most shocking thing about this game isn't how Plaxico  caught 3 touch down passes and didn't shoot him self in the leg or how Antonio  Gates returned from the dead no it how the Jets actually backed up Rex Ryan's mouth. I couldn't believe it. I am kidding this game was actually the best match up of the week. It was the Chargers go in front early and the Jets coming from behind which I hear is Mark Sanchez favorite thing to do with freshmen co-eds. But the Jets showed the rest of the league what well we all ready knew. Once you put the Chargers under some pressure they pretty much crumble. Think I am wrong how many super bowls have they won?  Yeah thats right .

    Ravens V. Jaguars-  PUKE  SOUNDS !!!! This game was awful. What happened. This game featured two of the games smallest and toughest running backs in the game. MJD and Ray Rice fumbled 5 times collectively but it wasn't raining or anything  that would make the ball extra slippery. The only thing this game was good for was that Jacksonville's kicker Josh Scobee  was 4-4  and had 3+ 50 yard kicks. Just gross I hope this game is quickly forgotten. I am about to lose my dinner so I am going to stop. It was so bad the Ravens didn't even get a first down until their 9th possession that means they went 3 and out  8 times before they got 10 yards.  BAuh  gross . The Jags take on the Texans and the Ravens take on the Cardinals.

   I would like to take this time to apologize for how bad this recap was. It wasn't that funny or good at all much like week 7.  Have a happy Slut O'ween weekend.  I will be stuck at work so good luck to your fantasy teams and your teams. Lets go Big Blue.  Enjoy Yo Self !


Friday, October 28, 2011

I wrote this before game 6.

There are a ton of things I can get into tonight. The World Series, Carson Palmer getting shit on for no reason, #Tebowing  and the upcoming SlutO'ween (surprisingly slept correctly ) but all I can think about today is how I should be on a show like ManV Food.

    So here I am sitting at home with my dad and he  changed the channel from his normal 15 hour cycle of golf coverage and turned on the Travel channels cornerstone program that doesn't involve going to other countries eating wild pig balls and hunt ghosts in a tight as shit tap out t-shirt. If you don't know what Man V. Food is I will summarize quickly. Adam Richman   lives a glamours life where some faceless company pays for him to spit in the face of heart Disease , Diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity and either dominates or fails miserably against restaurant's mammoth food challenges. Like if you ever go to some self owned joint and they have a turducken  burger that is made with 36oz steaks as the buns and if you finish it you win a t-shirt and a free ride in an ambulance. But he goes around that area first and checks out 2 other spots that have famous dishes to build up tourist sites, just helping out the local economy because people will travel to eat this stuff. I  have been planing a Man V. Food trip for 2 years now. Its tough getting the money for hotels,  transportation, the food and hospital bills because no normal mortal can handle that much food. 

    The only way this show could have happened is if the host is a total bro and Adam Richman   is a bro. Lets go down the list. Collection of  non aggressive t-shirts check, is super friendly to everyone around him and is passively sarcastic at the same time, says "Awww   Man ! Every episode, Hypes the crowd up  and high fives anything with a hand.  A-Rich seems to be a super cool bro and  might have a tape worm but that  still a cool dude and I think he would fit in to the Phantom ball player entourage of ... fat nerds ok. 

      The reason why I should be on or fuck it why not host a show like Man V. Food is because I am super awesome, funny, engaging, gregarious, smart I know words like gregarious and turducken , and like I have said countless time I am roguishly handsome all things that would make a great host except for me balding and possible not as gregarious as I think I am but I am still a lot of those things.  

     The Show wouldn't be me eating like a mad man at classy places as A-Rich does. No, I would go to notoriously ruckus tailgate parties and check out the local talent and the scene you know. Talk to the people at the game get some history on the teams and the stadium yada  yada . Seriously how sick would that be. I would  be a cross between Beer Money(SNY), Man V. Food (travel channel),  Diners drive-ins and Dives(food network) , and that other show with that guy who goes around finding out history on places , shit I watch way to much tv .  I can see it now..... 

This is how it will breakdown in list form.... 7 Steps to must see T.V 
1. Cold open — run down of where I am going that episode. A quick over view of what the haps are  and If I have guest starts. 
2. Getting to the place-Going over some short cut directions and some hot spots along the way (where to buy the beer).
3. Set up-I set up my base camp and set out to check out others parties
4. Meeting the masses-Going around meeting up with people who are enjoying the day more then the casual fan. Challenge the locals to a drinking game of their choice. Because there is nothing funny then my drunk ass. 
5. Location Featurette-  Take a tour of the stadium get a little history meet a few of the players or some of the inner working people (owners, Gm's, Head grounds crew guys, Chefs, history makers) who ever will talk to me. This is how I meet Erin Andrews and other people who i could careless about I just want to meet Erin Andrews so I can impress her with my aforementioned traits and sports knowledge 
6. Inside Scoop-Go around the stadium during game time pointing out the best places to grab beers and food where to hang out meet cool people
7. Leaving - Do a little sign off with some real fans and the end credits 

Kaboom thats a show 
  See I got this shit on lock. Call it the Nose Bleed section or PHandamoanium  (little Phantom reference) or something clever but if it starts with a F it has to be spelt PH. Thats my one demand. By the way I know some Lawyers so don't try stealing my Idea. Shit I have to get this patented like fast. How cool would that shit be. Hell in a perfect world I'll tailgate the Avengers . Wait that seems like a brilliant plan thats what I am going to do more details to come closer to the event.  Who wouldn't watch it its gold plated gold. Oh before I forget Mikey just started his tenure with us he will cover hockey and some other stuff that I have missed and I think M.D might be coming back but don't hold your breathe. Seriously I know Lawyers . 

His First, Official Post is During the World Series

Whats up everyone?  As some as you faithful readers may know me, my name is Mike, and I'm Mooses little, (bigger in some places) but cooler cousin. I'm a very big sports fan, playing baseball,hockey and football for years. I figure why not start off this blog post during the World Series, about some HOCKEY eh?


Some pretty interesting games tonight in the NHL, and ill start off with my least favorite. Tonight was the long awaited home opener for the Blue shirts (Rangers for all you puckfaces out there). -lets have a break for a nice applause,as im writing this the cards just brought the world series to game 7, after a nice walk off /golfclap (WoW reference) - Anyways, I was in my Graphics Design class, about to start getting ready to take my midterm. Since im working with a shitty mac, i figure why not put it to use. I ask my teacher if i was allowed to listen to my favorite teams home opener online, via, promising her that i wasn't able to hack there network to stream live answers for me to cheat on the test with, in which she eventually said i could. What do you know? a few minutes into my test, im banging on my desk cheering that the rangers scored. Sadly i wasn't cheering the rest of the night, for the Rangers fell short, 2-4 to the damn leafs.

So as the Cards tie the game in the 9th, im on facebook, in creeper mode. Im checking out peoples links, page updates, everything that anyone does to kill time before they goto sleep. NHL posts a video, of the 17 goals scored in the Winni-Philly game, so i watch the video.

 HOLY SHIT, i would have died 4 times during that match up. Flyers score first, then the Pegs are up by 5 with straight unanswered, then LOSES the lead when the Flyers come up with 7 goals. Pegs tie it and takes the lead shortly after. Flyers score again, making the game 8-8. After this entire battle lasting 3 periods, the Pegs score the game winning goal, with 1 minute, and 6 seconds left. Could you imagine, having a game locked up in the second period, up by 6, then lose the lead, just to win the game..only with subtle hints of over time in between the two?  This game instantly became a favorite this season, even if i didnt watch it.

Islanders lost...thank god, that is all i have to say about this game.

Now what im looking foward too this week?
-Game 7
-Dallas vs Eagles (Im a big Dallas Fan, and i would love to see them trample the eagles)
-Colts vs Titans (0-8? i wanna see it)
-And to see who on the Yankees stay (of course i want Cano to stay, along with CC)
-Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders (obviously a given)

Thats it for now Fuckers
Catch you on the Phlipside

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Two more games and then the best part of baseball comes... Free agent signings

    Since there were no sports on today absolutely none what so ever. So after  watching the first three episodes of the 3rd season of the League and I checked out this American Horror story  show. God damn that show is messed  up. I would get into it but I feel like I have been ignoring baseball for a bit because the World series has been pretty good. But since the World series could end with in the next day or two so lets me try speculating where some of the biggest free agents will end up . Because I have been right so many other times before.

Top 5 Pitchers

C.C. Sabathia - The Yankees ace will get a fair share of offers if he choices to opt out of his contract with the Yankees. But the question is would Captain Crunch leave the one place he has been dominate? When he started in the Cleve a few years back and his quick stop off in the Brew City critics have always wondered if Charleston Chew has been able to be a true ace. Well, ever since coming to the Pin striped gang C.C has silenced though critics with a resounding Shut the fuck up. Now that he became that true #1 his value blew up. The Yankees are going to drop serious cash on this guy but since Boston sent John Lackey to the doctor for Tommy John which is suspect they might be out there to fuck everything up. But Really who are we kidding  here. The Yankees will sign up C.C for 8 years and 195 million.

C.J. Wilson-If the Rangers lost game 5 the other night C.J's value would have been cut down considerably. But since he actually showed up and held his own against the Machine he might of added to his value. The easy money is on the Rangers to resign him since he is a guy who lets just say isn't Doc Gooden  like and would probably be better in a less media covered and weaker division. But since there will be a rush on pitchers and since C.C will draw the line in the sand C.J will get at least 85-100 million on a 7+ contract. His suiters will probably be : Yankees, Texas, Detroit, Boston, LA Angels, and a dark horse team that will make things interesting for about 3 days and back out I'd say Toronto. My call is that he'll stay in Texas.

Wandy  Rodriguez-The Houston ace wont get the highest of contracts but he will be the prize of the AL east. Whenever a good young lefty comes out to the waters the Yankees and Red Sox will battle each other until spring training starts. Wandy  will end up in Boston for a bloated deal. He will fill the void left by Lackey but he wont be god the first year.

Roy Oswalt- He just got cut by the Phillies  for being the weak link in the 4 Aces. It's not his fault really he got hurt a lot and never found his grove this season. But Roy is an old dog so if he has some fight left in him he could be the best 2 year contract ever signed . Roy can be an effective #3 and a serviceable  #2 . Teams like the Yankees and Dodgers might be in the market for Oswalt . But I see him signing up with the Nationals to give Starsburg  and Jordan Zimmerman some wise words. I mean they signed Pudge  and Livan  to do that but who better then a former fireballer to show them whats what.  Nationals  with a 1 year deal and options.

Heath Bell-This closer will definitely get some big cash here. If he wants it,  but he loves it in San Diego for some reason. When he was claimed this season by the playoff hunting Giants he declined the deal to stay with his bottom feeding Padres. Is he stupid or loyal? Well, now that he is a free agent his loyalty will be put to the test. Bell can lock up big cash from teams in need of a closer. The team I see that really needs his services is the Blue Jays. They have no bullpen since they traded Dotel  and Ryznendlandalejearjaiehjlakjifl  ( thats his real name) to the Cards. I hope the Blue Jays lock him up for a 4 year deal at 50 million. But the Red Sox, Dodgers, Twins and Mets are all looking to have a lock down guy in the 9th.

Top 6 Offensive Free Agents

Brandon Philips-I now Datdude   has an option with the Reds but he has put up such weighty numbers the past few years that  I think he knows how much he can lock up.  Now he wont get Carl Crawford money or even Jose Reyes money and he should he has been a better hitter and has been healthier then both of those guys. He has played in a small market so his national draw isn't that high, when you think of the Reds you think ,Coked up mascot and Joey Votto . But Brandon could lock up a nice 5 year deal with a contender . The Angels, Dodgers, and Twins all need to build up the right side of  the infield. I'd say 5 to the Angels. Howie Kendrick should move to third and They start Trumbo  over Morales.

Grady Sizemore-He could have been the biggest free agent if he wasn't hurt so much. Sizemore has speed, power, defensive prowess and he has a gun but he is also a huge injury risk. A true center fielder to the word but who would sign him over 2 years. I feel that the only real team that needs a center fielder would be the Nationals. I know I have said they would be getting a lot this offseason with Tito and Oswalt  but I think if they make these three moves hold on to Ankile  for another year until Harper comes up they could have a good squad. Look at the Line up : 1st Morse, 2nd Espinosa , 3rd Ryan Zimmerman, Short stop Desmond, left field Harper, center Sizemore, right Werth  and catcher Ramos. Thats a squad if they are healthy and actually happen. Signs a 3 year deal option after 2 incentive filled contract 15 million over 3 buy out of 2.5 million.

Jose Reyes-The national league batting champion no matter what anyone says. Bunt... I mean but  Jose is looking for a long and heavy contract because the last one he signed was shit. But Reyes is not going to get as much as you think. He was on the D.L for an overall month so that lowered his value about 5 mill each time he went on ( 2 times)  but the batting title definitely covered some of that lose. So if on my calculations , -10 +6 = 4 million more then what he would have gotten if he didn't win. So Jose can get about 95 million dollars over a 7 year with an opt out after 4. Teams that are looking at Jose are the Red Sox, Giants, Mets, Yankees( to fuck with the Mets and Red Sox), Phillies , and the Cardinals. Well, the Cards are a long shot but never count them out. I say he signs with the Mets just above asking price for 7 thus crippling the Mets for years to come.

David Ortiz- Red Sox. I know he has been a douche lately but lets be honest wheres he going to  go? Exactly. Just let him vent out what he needs to and He will be happy up in Bean Town. 3 years at 30 million then retires and goes into the hall as a Sox.

Prince Fielder - Big Boy will definitely get his guap  this off season. It will be a tough sell to keep him in the beer city but I don't see him staying there. There were some grumblings of the Nats , Rangers and Yankees all which I see as crap. Teams like the Red Sox and Yankees will  just have the hype look at him. He will end up on the Giants. They need the bat to protect Buster Poesy and when the Giants sign Armais   Ramirez to play 3rd base they could have a revamped offense. So I see a 6 year 100 million contract to Splash down out in the bay.

Now the main event

Johnny Gomes- This  talented outfielder will add to any contenders bench... Wait I am being told I am being an idiot.

Albert Pujols - The Machine will be target # 1 in the Offseason. No matter what people throw at him it's not enough. The Machine is unreal putting up 30+ homers a year and since this was his first year not dropping 100 rbis and .300 avg.  He will command at least close or on the dot 200 million. If A-rod on roids  can get 250  Albert clean should get 400. The question is will St .Louie drop that much on him. They might have to give him a 10 year 230 with a claim in ownership when he retires. Right if he carries the Cards back to win the World Series except then money thrown at him to make you throw up. I know I said earlier that he could sign with the Phillies  but the teams looking at him are  the Cubs, Giants.... Everyone who can try to afford him.  But he will stay with the Cards.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What is everyones deal lately


      I don't get  whats going on in sports lately?  Drinking beers, talking shit on the field , and being critical  of  game officials all of that is apparently like shouting "666, Satan is awesome and Lets kill a billion puppies" at a pre-school  presentation of  Jason and his technic-color dream coat. When did all of this normal stuff be come contraband? Let me explain.

    I mentioned before that the Red Sox during their collapse a few of their star pitchers on days that they were not starting would go into the clubhouse and drink rally beers and ate some Popeye's Chicken.  Now Joe Torre  is looking into drinking in the club house. This story was brought to my attention by Barstoolsports  and Espn .  And I am extremely mad at baseball. This has to stop now. Everyone who is suspected of downing probably Bud heavies because thats the only beer you should be drinking at baseball games because it gets you messed up fast, is over 21 and did not drive anywhere drunk or harm anyone. I am still trying to figure out what the problem is? Torre  said some shit about being role models to kids. I don't know where Joe Torre  played Little league  but when I did me and the boys never drank beers in the club house due to the fact there was no club house attached to the little league, high school fields. I am so mad at this story that I can't form sentences to show how mad I am. Seriously this is such a non story and it probably wouldn't be a story if they made the playoffs. But if the whole reason  the second coming of localized prohibition, which honestly never works because if players can't get loaded on days they are not going to be a factor, in the club house they are just going to go out and get loaded somewhere else. Which will lead to a rise in DWI's  and more hilarious mug shots but this could start some shit that wont be funny.  Just because the Texas Rangers are a bunch of "Straight edge" pussies doesn't mean the rest of the league should tattooed up their arms with "XXX". Joe Torre  is slowly draining the fun out of baseball. He is like a lame vampire, the douches from twilight are cooler then Joe Torre. Why hasn't any team given this ass bag a managing gig? Oh I know why because without a load team with a high payroll he wouldn't get past the wild card.

    Oh no the Detroit Lions said so mean things about Matt Ryan when he was lying on the ground. Oh did they? I was watching SportsCenter after the  Jaguars and Raven game which  was an expo in  kicking. Kids if you want to be an NFl Kicker just watch this game . But SportsCenter had this segment on how trash talking is in the game. They pulled out all the stops. Getting their Basketball guys  and  NCAA dudes as well.  As they went on and on it became white noise to me because isn't the whole point of sports is to prove your better then you opponent both mentally and physically? Well,  I guess you can put up 62 points on a struggling team but if you say boo to them you're  a douche. Sports are the one place where you can call someone out and tell them how they couldn't stack up to late 90's Christopher Reeves when they are covering you in the slot. I know the Lions said some shit like get the cart and shit like that. Boo Fucking Who! Grow up I have said worse when I beat my 12 year old cousin at Guitar Hero. The thing that I don't get is now I know I could be outlandishly wrong about this but isn't talking trash on the field the same as when one of these  former players and reports rip apart athletes on sports shows? Correct me if I am wrong but If someone hits me and says I am no good I get that but when someone who is a thousand miles away and never even came near me says I am trash  but instead of it only being on the field where only I and probably a few other people can hear it they are saying it where millions of people can hear their brand of shit talk.  So what I am trying to say since that might have been jumbled because I am still pissed about banning Rally Beers, is that  the reports and analysts are talking worse shit then the players. I could be wrong but if you think about it I am right. So  when Joe Torre  gets hired by the NFL to stop on field bullying and suck the fun out of that sport too. Also ease up on Carson Palmer the week before he was jacking it on his couch, he wasn't supposed to be in that game at all the fact he even completed a few passes is mildly impressive.

     I don't know if I should write this part I might be fined $5,000 for being to harsh on these clowns.  I don't know if its me or maybe someone else has noticed but in both the NFL and MLB the refs/umps  have been terrible. If you saw game 3 of the World Series in the top of the 4th a very "Questionable" call on a double play. If by questionable they meant totally blown call they are right. Matt Holliday who is the king of getting shitty call his way, Padres fans know what I am talking about, is call safe after Mike Nappoli   punched him in the back of the head 5 feet before the first base bag.  There has also be a rash of terrible penalties in the NFL. Mostly where players can hit another player. Actually where can you hit someone in the NFL? Can't hit a guy below the knees, can't hit a guy above the numbers so that leaves about 2-3 feet of hittable space. I'll be sure to remember that when I am running full speed trying to stop some dude from catching a pass. Seriously let them hit each other. They all ready have more protection on them then cops and soldiers might as well as let them beat the shit out of each other.  It is raining so much yellow R.Kelly is blushing. Whatever man no matter how much you complain to these guys they just will fine you and call against you. The Officials are that kid in school who causes so much shit but when you call him out he'll rat you out to the principle for being a bully.

   I am tired its about 2:30 am right now so I am gonna hit it. When you see this in the Morning or afternoon or on google images I will be sleeping day off tomorrow. Sadly I really want to work or do something creative so obviously not blogging. I think I might have some rally beers in the morning and then go work out. RALLY BEERS! They'll taste so much better when Torre  bans them.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Week 6 in your face... In your face!!!!!!


   Here it is Your favorite time of the week. The Week 6 recap. Yes, this has become a staple of the Phantom just as taking credit for shit that we had nothing to do with and the sales of Kanas City Royals hats in the New York area.  So lets continue the best part of your week looking back at last week.

 Lets Do this ....Its 6 for kicks , I don't know if anyone has noticed. But every recap I try to find pictures of the that weeks number  of cheerleaders in the picture. Like last week there was 5 this week there are 6. I have too much time.

     Steelers V. Jaguars-The Rookie and the Bowling ball took on the Steelers in what should have been a blow out turned into a close one. Big Ben and the boys cut up the Jags early going up 17-3 before the half. When the 3rd started it seemed like the Steelers left  the fight in the locker room.  The Jags made a bit of a comeback scoring 10 unanswered points in the second half.  MjD showed how tough he was by knocking off  Troy Polamalu's head with his knee. Basically tis game shouldn't have even been close but thats what happens when you fall asleep on a young team. Steelers play the Cardinals and the Jags take on the Ravens on monday night... wait what?

  Packers V  Rams-What has happened to the Rams this year? Weren't they one win away from "claiming" a home field playoff game last season? Well, this years is completely different an 0-5 start  has them not sucking for luck but sucking for who ever is the second best option. They need a true #1 wide out to help out Bradford who threw for 328 with 0 td's. On the other side, the Packers have been fire flames to start  the season. A 6-0 start with no plan on stopping. A-Rod has shown the world that he is the real deal.  Problem is their  running game is for shit  but it doesn't matter when A-Rod is throwing 300+ a game with 3 td's a game. Packers play the Vikings in a battle of the North, and Rams look to win game 1 against the Cowboys.

  CowboysV Patriots-This was a game that makes you say "Ugh Fucking gross" . I don't see how this was a good game. 3 total picks 3 total fumbles, 3 total touchdown, and  5 field goals made.  How can anyone say this was a great game when two High powered offense can't beat to low powered Defenses. This game should have been  54-48. But no Brady and Romo  besides giving reports wet dreams every time the ball was snapped looked lost and uncomfortable the whole day until Brady hit Aaron Hernandez with a last drive td to end what ever magic the Cowboys never had. New England is on the Bye and Dallas swagger their crap back home against the Rams.

   Buccaneers V  Saints - The big Nfc  south matchup the Bucs are looking to break out of the Saints and Falcons shadow. And they did with a last minute end zone interception of all of sudden elite Drew Brees. When did this guy become so good that everyone is scared of him? Wasn't he forced out of San Diego because of Philip Rivers? Now all of sudden he wins one super bowl which was really won by the defense and now he is the second coming of Arthur Fonzerllie .  I don't get it yeah he has a big arm and can lead but so can Eli and he has made the playoffs more times then Brees . Sorry, the Bucs and Josh Freeman took control of first place of the South and look to extend the lead when they play Bears. While the Saints pull their float into Indy to play the  0-6 Colts . Maybe they'll see some Indy boobies... Highly doubtful .But the hype surrounding this game is deplorable " the Rematch of the 2009 Superbowl. " I know they make these promos in the pre-season but I think networks should do some editing a week or so before the game to fix it.

  49ers V. Lions-The Lions suffered their first loss of the season and the niners continue to surprise the world. Everyone thought once Big Jimmy Harbro  came into the fold they were gonna pack it in early so they could be the team to suck it hard for luck. But Surprise Phuckers  there will be no luck sucking in San Francisco  you can write your own jokes on that one. Even though this game was probably the best game on tv  . Lions took the first quarter lead, Niners came close, half time, All Niners to the end. Megatron  only had 113 yards, joke. Something else happened in this game which I am blanking on. Oh I know something huge happened like headline grabbing. It Shook the world it handed the NFL a black eye. Fuck it I am not koy at all. The Lions Play the Falcons and the Niners take it easy on a bye.

   Jets V. Dolphins-To quote Derrelle  Revis " I don't care". Jets beat the fuck out of the Fins. It was so bad my dude Chester had to call me up at 12am and tell me that he was burning his Brandon Marshall Jersey which made me think "they actually sell Brandon Marshall Jerseys ? I thought you had to be good." The Jets play the Chargers which is now a rivalry somehow and the Dolphins take on Tebow  after they Honor him. Yes thats right Florida is going to Honor Tim Tebow  before the game. You can't make this shit up.

   Bills V  Giants-After getting humiliated by the Seagulls last week the Giants were looking to inflict some pain on the only team that actually plays in New York State. But the Bills had other plans. They put together a hell of a game. Fred Jackson smoking fools on the ground Fitzpatrick through the air just bust'n their nuts were ever they wanted. Until the 4th quarter when Corey Webster remembered he plays in the NFL and picks off Fitz  twice.Also it helped when Ahmad Bradshaw  had 3 rushing td's. Both these teams have a bye this week so I will be working on sunday afternoon.

   Well, thats that. Look for Christian Ponder to get his welcome to the show slapping around by Green Bay and John Beck starts for the Redskins but seriously this looks like a shitty week of games. The Flacons and Detroit game should be the best one but I have little hope that these matchups  will blow any one away. Who will suck for luck this week?

Time to power through and post

    Yesterday I said I have the writers block and its kind of breaking. The problem is I just got a new phone. Its this Droid something but its straight hot fire. I paid like $30 for it ,thanks AT&T  but I have been playing words with friends against my brother and M.D and I have been using up all of my limited spelling capability to lose gracefully to both of them. But I think we have all stopped playing for now and a wave of words and stuffs came roaring back in to my brain.  So I am going to hit  some things that caught my eye  this week.

   Besides this being the start of three new Quarter backs era's this week.  Tebow , Ponder, Beck and oh wait I forgot  Palmers back  but in Black and Sliver. But the one football story  that is even more interesting then any of those stories is the Miami Dolphins and the Indy Colts  race for the worst team of the year. Right now both sit at 0-6. The reason why two shitty teams are in the spotlight by the national media is because Andrew Luck. The future number 1 pick of next years draft will be  the prize of that one lucky unlucky franchise puns intended. If the Colts end in dead ass last , Luck who is already an NFL ready Quarterback will have the privilege of getting tutored by the most fundamentally sound and intelligent Quarterbacks to ever take the field. Andrew Luck will sit for at-least the next 3 years behind Peyton Manning watching how the game is played in an extremely complex and deep offensive system. Basically like an Aaron Rodgers Brett Farve minus the dick pics. But if the Dolphins happen to grab the top draft spot. Luck will be starting on day one no question. The Chad Henne, Matt Morre and Cleo Lemon experiment will be finally over for the orange and teal. Also with the drafting of Luck will mean there will definitely be a changing the head coach and probably an older Q.B will be signed to back up and give some advice to the kid. But this would be worst thing for him. The Dolphins seem to be a cursed franchise ever since the 70's. But this whole "Suck for Luck " title on this chase is classic. I can't believe an editor allowed this to be printed. It just opens up so many blow job jokes. Just poor poor  poor wording and I know a thing or two about poor words.

   As much as I hate to watch espn  they are pretty much the only real sports news network. Well I don't hate all of espn its just some of their reports that just burn my biscuts. When they talk its like nails on a chalkboard. Guys like Pedro Gomez, Tim Kyrkjun , Skip Bayliss, Ed Werder , Sunday Night Baseball and Monday night football. Just those guys everyone else is fine. I just can't stand these people.  I'll start with Sunday night Baseball. Orel Herishiser, Bobby Valentine and Dan Shulman.
  When we heard that Joe Morgan and John Miller were not coming back to the Sunday night scene the crowd was spilt granted they were doing it for a while and  had a group of loyal watchers. But these new guys have got something that  John and Joe never had. The ability to put even the deaf to sleep. These guys have taken what ever fun was left in baseball out of it. Hershiser and Valintine have to be the worst color guys in the biz. Their insight to baseball has made me want to watch paint dry. It is not helped by Shulman  who is just as monotoned.  I have avoided watching the games.
  Monday Night football used to be good. Back when Michaels and Madden  were drawing on the screen and giving classic commentary . But Jaws, Tirico  and Gruden  have sloppy called games for the past two years. They do keep you into the games and have some great insights. But  they constantly talk over each other and jaws cruses up the joint.
  Now let me turn my focus to the reporters. Really if I didn't see what I saw today I think  I would have let them pass and probably talk about Batman or something nerdy. So I was watching sports center today to catch up on what I missed the night before and Tim Kyrkjun  and his dumb face was talking about how Albert Puljos  was wrong by shutting him self off to the media after a game 2 error that cost the Cards the game. Saying some shit the Jeter, Michael Young and Josh Hamilton  would have talked to the media because they nows whats right. Tim this is Alberts 3rd time in the Big dance. He knows what he is doing. So if he doesn't want to talk find someone else. There are 24 other guys in that locker room and probably 15 of them played in the game besides Albert. I know he is the biggest name in the whole show but sometimes you just got to deal with a player with a hurt ego. He actually did the right thing. If he was really upset with what happened he cold of slipped up. See Jeter doesn't have to worry about that because he only knows 5 sentences and who really care what Michael Young and Josh Hamilton have to say. They probably are talking about hunting or God or how they don't drink.
   Pedro Gomez and Ed Werder  are workers in  the hype machine. Pedro was all about Bonds and steroids and Werder  has sold his soul to Brett Farve and Jerry Jones.  Just every time these guys talk I change the channel. It has something to do with their voice I don't know but they make me hate sports. Lets not Forget good lo' Skip Bayless. I watched 1st and 10 which is like cross fire where they get a black reporter to go up against the Big Dawg.  Seriously it seems every episode its two black reports go up against skip. Now most of the time the other guys work together to get one past the old guard but what it would look like to a causal observer is that espn is trying to prove that Skip is a little bit racist. There are  who think he is too. And I kind of agree. It might just be speculation but the one I saw today was  Skip was going up against  his normal foe and a new white reporter and he wished the White dude luck and not the black guy.... I am kidding. Skip isn't a racist he is a douche.

     I think I am going to stop here. I 'm pretty sure I have broken what ever writers block I had. Oh lastly I want to let you guys know I think my cousin Mikey is going to join us here at the Phantom. He will bring us insight into hockey and some other shit we don't know. Week 5 Recap to come tomorrow night.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Sorry Folks I have the Writers Block

    I am Super duper sorry but my brain has run dry... For now. And look has what happened the week it does. The Eagles saved Jerome Harrison's life from a brain tumor, Rex Ryan and Norv  Turner get in to a war of words about both being underachieving , Nelson Cruz just molesting postseason pitching, and other crap that I cannot form the words together  to make funnies. Oh and plus there was a story call "suck for Luck" I mean come on Brain why are you so stupid. Hopefully I'll get my Mojo back  for the week 6  recap.  I am extremely disappointed in myself and I have been eating brain food this whole week. At least thats what those animals on  Manor farm said ... See I am making Orwell references  . It's sparking  , I am gonna work on this . Have a good night.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Everybody Needs to clam the hell down... 3 stories this week that were blown way out of propotion

   So I have taken a quick break from beating up the residents of Arkham  City to bring you my take on 3 stories that the big boys have totally blew up like dynamite this week. "The Handshake," "Beers in the Dugout" and "Brett Farve  saying he is the reason for Aaron Rodgers  success".  Lets make it like the Tree house of horror. Except not as funny as it could be but still kinda funny.

Chapter 1: The Handshake of ....... DOUCHEIENESS
     This Past sunday probably the best game to of watched was the Lions V 49ers. They 49ers took and early lead Lions came back, 49ers came back, Megatron  went off for over 100 yards, and then the niners  gave the Lions their first loss of a season. It was pretty good Just two young teams playing intense meaningful football. You don't see that much often anymore. But besides all of that the one thing that the most coverage was the post game hand shake/rumble. Well, not really a rumble just two guys jawing and grabbing at each other. It was cool starting out. The Lions are now a proud bunch letting these dudes know that yeah you might of won the battle but we'll win the war. COBRA! But then we find out what really  happened the fight just seemed petty and well fucking stupid. Harbaugh shook Schwartz hand too hard.  Really? You know what I do when someone shakes my hand too hard. I shake theirs back harder and say "Bro really? ". But Schwartz here went ape shit and started some ruckus  down the forty , thirty , twenty, ten and endzone . Some of the players got involved and really it wasn't something you put on the ol' ' resume. But after the game Harbaugh said It was his fault and was way too pumped up and apologized. Story over right ?  No because there is still 5 days before the next game. Everyone on sunday night and monday were killing this story like it was something out of the blue. Guess what it's not. Football is an intense sport and I am surprised that a head coach didn't kill another head coach after a win/loss yet.  So who do I side with on this.... No sides taken your both grown ass men get the fuck over it. If your upset that your hand got shook really hard , well Sally ann your in the wrong sport. Also if your gonna bitch about someone being a douche at the end of a game. Maybe you should take your own advice instead of doing your best Balrog impersonation .  And Jimmy this is your first year in the NFL and you took a team that was trash last year and have them at 5-1 don't apologize for nothing. Did Belichick  apologize for cheating, no.

Chapter 2: Beer Beer Beer everywhere but not a drop to get you into the playoff.

     I kind of like that title lets soak it in  for  a minute.... During the Red Sox collapse in september there were some hints to stories of players hanging out in the clubhouse drinking beers and eating chicken. Those bastards, how dare they who do they think they are drinking beer and eating chicken don't they realize they can get better food by sending a club house guy into the stadium and getting some fire ass food.  I can't believe this is actually a story, it's so stupid. More detailed is that Lester, Beckett and Lackey on days that they were not pitching would go into the clubhouse and have rally beers  and order some fired chicken hang out and watch t.v and not be out in the dug out supporting their teammates. This is a Story? Where is the problem? Grown men over the drinking age  having a few beers  on a day that they were not going to go in. It's not like Tito was gonna call on Lester to set up Matt Albers fat ass in the 5th when Wakefield couldn't get out of the 4th. Why do they need to support their teammates what is this tee ball? Lets face it,  have you ever watched a bad team sober? It's boring  and They were boozing when they weren't working. Basically they were drinking in Basketball shorts and hoodies . Are you kidding me thats what softball is. Thats great why are these guys denying it. What are they afraid of ? Boston has more bars then people, it's their fucking calling card. If I was one of these guys I would tell the truth.
     "Did you drink on off days ?" :" Yes I did" : "Why?" "What else was I going to do. Its Baseball there are teams owned by beer companies look at the center field scoreboard how many beer ads are there? :  "You should have been out supporting your teammates": "  Really what am I going to tell him, don't throw the ball there , good play, way to go . They get a million dollar paycheck , thats all the support they need": " You need to be a better team player": " You need to grow up I am over 21 and not a factor in the out come of the game, the only difference between me and a fan is that I am wearing baseball pants. And the Shit ton of money I am making. ; ": Thank you , thank you that was my mock interview with a reporter. This story is incredible dumb. But the worst part is that Lester, and Beckett have denied it. I lost a ton of respect for those guys.  Do you know how you support your teammates during a collapse... Win your start thats how.

Chapter 3:  The Night of the living Asshole!
     This might have been last week but I can't remember when it came out. But when it did I  wanted to write about it  but I don't know enough about Aaron Rodgers to  really make a full post about it. But Brett Farve  taking responsablity  for Aaron Rodgers and his success. Well, if you hear the interview he gave , which I have the espn  link in here.  But If you did click and watched the first take debate.  I side with Stephen A. Smith not because we have the same style, flair for  the dramatic , and same haircut. But he is right Brett Farve  is way off.  Brett did say how talented that packers team was when he got  the boot or he retired. But heres the thing Aaron Rodgers is a different Qb then   ever was. If   said Tony Romo would be good I can accept that because Tony Romo  is Brett Farve.2  .Rodgers is more accurate and brainy  Qb  and has no real stud running back. Look I like A-Rod  but he is not my favorite Qb at all I still think Eli is better. Yes, that throws my credibility out the window. Well, thats why I blog and not report.

   This part was just going to be about how far Brett Farve  slipped into dementia . But that video made me want to talk about the other aspect of that story. The old school media protection that Brett Farve  still has. If Farve  had this kind of protection when he was on the field he wouldn't have thrown so many picks. The Old school guys still have a huge boner for this guy.  It could be the fact he is a great story machine or he sext them his dick dressed up as the winner of each game on a week to week  basis. But Guys like Skip here or Ed Werder who is trying to quit Farve by easing into Romo  . Slowly but gently .  I am sorry but that was funny.  All I wanted was the whole " I wish I knew how to quit you" link but I couldn't have slept tonight without saying Ed Werder  puts  it in Romo's 5 hole.
   Back to the real story Old school sports writers think the world of Farve but the  new wave guys don't feel the same. Now it could be their love for Brady and Peyton  and their  accuracy and sniper mentality. I don't know maybe this town  is too small for a gun slinger like Farve . But  if you learned anything from Call of duty 2. Snipers always seem to beat the guy who just runs around and shoots wildly. I do know that Jenn Sterger  isn't a big fan of  Farve . Since she exposed him for being a creeper and she hasn't become famous like how she wanted. There  can only be one Erin Andrews.

   So that is that. Not too bad. There are some good lines in there.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Week 5 recap... Lets make this quick because I am hung over


   So last night went off like hot fire. Had a great time getting absolutely  trashed.  What a time. Right so I figured before I fall back asleep to work off my  super sized hangover  I'd do a quick recap of a pretty interesting week of Football.

    Lets do this ( very quietly )

   K.C  Chiefs V  Indy Colts-The Chiefs are getting hot with their second win of the season. Though without the sticky hands of Dwayne Bowe  they probably would have lost. Let face it The Chiefs play in a shit division so they are technically  still in the hunt.  But on the other side of the ball the same can't be said about the Colts. 0-5  and falling fast. Curtis "Teenaged Thor" Painter  has been better then expected throwing to his boy Pierre. But they lost because their defense is terrible. Indy plays Cinci   and Kc has a bye.

   Cardinals    Vikings-The Vikings finally won a game.  They did what I said and just let A.P do it all with 3 tds  and 122 rushing yards. Unfortunately for the Cards they still suck ass. With some explosive offensive talent they can't seem to put it all together .  Ron Swanson and Fitz  are growing as a tandem but  not fast enough. The vikings are set to battle the Bears  and the cards have a week of practice ahead of them hopefully they can put together and come out with a new game plan . Or they can just keep on being terrible.

   Raiders V Texans- Now I  like the Texans but I really wanted them to lose against the sliver and black. A few days before the game their long time owner  Al Davis. Some might say that he didn't really evolve with the game and he drafted wildly, sign bad players to huge contracts that they can never live up to and then quickly cut them. Al Davis just wanted to win baby win. Back in the Day he changed the game for the better and gave the world John Madden. Rest in Piece Good Sir. The Texans play the Ravens while the  Raiders are on a bye.

   Broncos V  Chargers-Its officially Tebow  time. The unruly masses of Denver Colorado finally get their wish. Like I said in my Tim Tebow  post he came in to the game when they were losing 23-10 so it looked like he was getting some junk time. But it turned out The Broncos were just pulling their punches with Orton  and were just waiting to explode on the Norv " Whales Vagina " Turner  "coached" Chargers. The reason I put coach in quotes is because Norv  is not a coach.  He's a guidance Councilor actually he's not even a good one. If you asked him for advice he'd probably tell you to wait until the last possible minute. He sucks as a coach. I don't get how they fired Marty Shott  after a 14-2 season and a loss in the Playoffs and they sign this jackoff  to an extension and  the Chargers are the worst. Bye weeks for them both.

   Bills V   Eagles-The Bills are good. Like Really good.  They picked off Vick 4 times and made the Eagles  look like one of those Pizza hut commercials that make you think Reggie Bush is a fantasy stud. It's a joke how bad they have been playing.  Is this what the Eagles really are? A team that  loses a bunch of games but is still the heavy favorite because for some reason their  q.b  is beloved for accomplishing nothing.  Vick is overrated  so are the Eagles. The Bills take on the Giants and the Eagles play the Redskins.

   Panthers V. Saints-Cam Newton is the Truth.  The only thing that can hold him down is this brutal schedule to start  the season. Seriously check  it : Zona , Green bay, Jacksonville, Chi-town, the Big eZ.  And this sunday playing Atl who is looking to get back on Their  winning ways.  I also hate to say this but the saints are not stopping. I don't know how they do it. I don't know if its just me or if other people feel the same way but I always feel like they aren't as good as the record says they are. Does that make any sense.  I know they are good but they have no real star wide out a stable of running backs who in other systems would be trash  and an older defense that seems out matched. But they keep on winning . Drew Brees is also known as the Truth so I guess that could explain it to my feeble mind.  Cam takes on Matty  Ice and the Flacons while The Brees  blows into Tampa bay for an old vs young game.

  Packers V  Flacons-I was able to watch this game with very limited interruptions. The Dirty Birds looked like they had this game on lock. Then came half time and I was  mislead. But with how bad Matt Ryan played  and how good Aaron Rodgers played in the second half it made me realize something. This is the new Manning Brady rivalry for the NFL. Granted Manning and Brady are still slinging it (not yet for Peyton but he can still do some damage) . But how many more years can these two keep going before they start calling games on CBS and Espn .  If the NFL was worried  about who would take up the mantle a few more of these Packer Falcon games and you can forget about  those stupid man Uggs  and Sony T.Vs . Packers play the Rams and the Flacons play Panthers.

    Bears V. Lions-How good is Megatron  ? The answer is Really fucking GOOD. Even though the Bears took the lead by half time. The Lions we able to come back again for a 3rd week in a row and come up winners. This is great I hope the lions keep it up.  If they can battle the Packers for the north this year it will be a great season.Lions play the 49ers  and the Bears play Vikings

   GiantsV Seahawks-This was an ugly game. The Giants offensive line was crumbling around the running game so Bradshaw had a tough time getting it going. But thankfully Eli Manning can throw the rock. Dude 420 and 3 tds  except he also threw 3 picks and the fatal pick 6 at the end of the game. The Seahawks and their  q.B? Tarvis Jackson played just good enough to hold the lead but they really tried to give the Giants the game. But no, no 4th quarter come back again no just sadness. The Giants play the Bills and the Seahawks are on a bye so  Jackson can rest up or Whitehurst  can pretend to be an NFL football player.

   Jets V  Pats-This game went as I  expected it to. The Jets came into this came pounding their chests thinking that they are better then the Pats. Problem is that Tom Brady still plays for the Patriots and this other guys by the name of Wes Welker who can run routes better then anyone else. But the big Offensive star of the game was engraves GreenElis . The normally quite running game blew up with for 136 yards and 2 tds. Welker also had 120+ yards in this one. But the big story came  a few days after the game. You can't spell Super Bowl Champion New York Jets without Never gonna happen you over rated Cry babies.

   So I did more then I expected so I am just gonna go . Enjoy the games this sunday. I'll be back monday.