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Friday, October 28, 2011

I wrote this before game 6.

There are a ton of things I can get into tonight. The World Series, Carson Palmer getting shit on for no reason, #Tebowing  and the upcoming SlutO'ween (surprisingly slept correctly ) but all I can think about today is how I should be on a show like ManV Food.

    So here I am sitting at home with my dad and he  changed the channel from his normal 15 hour cycle of golf coverage and turned on the Travel channels cornerstone program that doesn't involve going to other countries eating wild pig balls and hunt ghosts in a tight as shit tap out t-shirt. If you don't know what Man V. Food is I will summarize quickly. Adam Richman   lives a glamours life where some faceless company pays for him to spit in the face of heart Disease , Diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity and either dominates or fails miserably against restaurant's mammoth food challenges. Like if you ever go to some self owned joint and they have a turducken  burger that is made with 36oz steaks as the buns and if you finish it you win a t-shirt and a free ride in an ambulance. But he goes around that area first and checks out 2 other spots that have famous dishes to build up tourist sites, just helping out the local economy because people will travel to eat this stuff. I  have been planing a Man V. Food trip for 2 years now. Its tough getting the money for hotels,  transportation, the food and hospital bills because no normal mortal can handle that much food. 

    The only way this show could have happened is if the host is a total bro and Adam Richman   is a bro. Lets go down the list. Collection of  non aggressive t-shirts check, is super friendly to everyone around him and is passively sarcastic at the same time, says "Awww   Man ! Every episode, Hypes the crowd up  and high fives anything with a hand.  A-Rich seems to be a super cool bro and  might have a tape worm but that  still a cool dude and I think he would fit in to the Phantom ball player entourage of ... fat nerds ok. 

      The reason why I should be on or fuck it why not host a show like Man V. Food is because I am super awesome, funny, engaging, gregarious, smart I know words like gregarious and turducken , and like I have said countless time I am roguishly handsome all things that would make a great host except for me balding and possible not as gregarious as I think I am but I am still a lot of those things.  

     The Show wouldn't be me eating like a mad man at classy places as A-Rich does. No, I would go to notoriously ruckus tailgate parties and check out the local talent and the scene you know. Talk to the people at the game get some history on the teams and the stadium yada  yada . Seriously how sick would that be. I would  be a cross between Beer Money(SNY), Man V. Food (travel channel),  Diners drive-ins and Dives(food network) , and that other show with that guy who goes around finding out history on places , shit I watch way to much tv .  I can see it now..... 

This is how it will breakdown in list form.... 7 Steps to must see T.V 
1. Cold open — run down of where I am going that episode. A quick over view of what the haps are  and If I have guest starts. 
2. Getting to the place-Going over some short cut directions and some hot spots along the way (where to buy the beer).
3. Set up-I set up my base camp and set out to check out others parties
4. Meeting the masses-Going around meeting up with people who are enjoying the day more then the casual fan. Challenge the locals to a drinking game of their choice. Because there is nothing funny then my drunk ass. 
5. Location Featurette-  Take a tour of the stadium get a little history meet a few of the players or some of the inner working people (owners, Gm's, Head grounds crew guys, Chefs, history makers) who ever will talk to me. This is how I meet Erin Andrews and other people who i could careless about I just want to meet Erin Andrews so I can impress her with my aforementioned traits and sports knowledge 
6. Inside Scoop-Go around the stadium during game time pointing out the best places to grab beers and food where to hang out meet cool people
7. Leaving - Do a little sign off with some real fans and the end credits 

Kaboom thats a show 
  See I got this shit on lock. Call it the Nose Bleed section or PHandamoanium  (little Phantom reference) or something clever but if it starts with a F it has to be spelt PH. Thats my one demand. By the way I know some Lawyers so don't try stealing my Idea. Shit I have to get this patented like fast. How cool would that shit be. Hell in a perfect world I'll tailgate the Avengers . Wait that seems like a brilliant plan thats what I am going to do more details to come closer to the event.  Who wouldn't watch it its gold plated gold. Oh before I forget Mikey just started his tenure with us he will cover hockey and some other stuff that I have missed and I think M.D might be coming back but don't hold your breathe. Seriously I know Lawyers . 

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