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Saturday, November 5, 2011

I just heard the new I am one of Forbes most influential people due to my NFL recaps. Wait no Its just week 8


    Could you imagine me as one of those influential people, shit would be crazy getting to go on Barbara Walters talk about my childhood and how super awesome and sexy I am. I could do that.... Right I think that was enough. Time to stop stroking my ego... for now. But its that time of the week again time to give you a recap of games that you already have watched , recaps, highlights, post game interviews, and what ever the people who are the pros and are organized or what ever , I got shit to do during the week. 

  Vikings V. Panthers-Cam Newton V. Christian Ponder, run and gun v what ever it is that the Vikings  do with AD and Harvin  . See Peterson is on my fantasy team and I thought he was going to run all over the Panthers but I was mistaken his big numbers came from the passing game. I still got a shit ton of points to continue my winning streak. The Panthers never really took advantage in this game. They dropped 14 in the 2nd quarter but they gave up 10 points in the 2nd half and only scored 7. The Vikings are high on Ponder and are sold on what ever he is selling. They still need to fix up their defense and the O-line might need a tinker or two. The same with the Panthers just a young team on the cusp of doing work but need to fix a whole that was once their strong suit so that they can make it back to the playoffs. Vikings are on a bye and the Panthers are playing the also on a bye so writing this was pointless

  49ers V. Browns-For the past three week I have been thinking should I do a solo post on how the Madden curse is just ravaging Peyton Hillis . Not only injury but contract, team chemistry, community relations and he is breaking the heart of all those idiots who took him in the first round this year. But I think I just got my point across in one long sentence. But the Browns suck hard  they have no running game  so Colt McCoy is getting beaten down in the passing game. He is surprisingly not as bad as their record shows. On the other side the 49ers have completely changed the personality of the team that was pretty bad last year but since they play in a terrible division they always have a chance. But this year they are the clear favorite.  I know I am not really talking about the game that much but this was what happened. Frank Gore killed them, he had 31 touches for 134 yards and a touch down. Which seems like a good game plan by making the team a run first offense has eased the pressure on Alex Smith who was taken way before Aaron Rodgers spooky right ?  The 49ers look to continue the beat down of the Redskins and the Browns play the playoff bound Texans

   Cardinals V. Ravens-For the life of me I don't know how the Ravens won this game, for the life of me I don't know how the Cardinals blew this game. As I was watching big blue ( they will be covered later, don't you worry they will be covered)  and  kept on seeing scoring alerts for this game and I was shocked when I found out that the Cardinals blew it after half time. Ron Swanson and the Boys blew up with 24 points in the first half. With a Big play to Fitz  and Beanie back doing work they cards looked to be giving the Ravens their second consecutive upset. But hold the phone the Raven finally remembered that they are a team that is meant to be in the playoffs. So to Ron's dismay the  Black birds came back with 14 in the 3rd and 10 in the 4th. Will it be too late for the Cards to get the Kolb /Fitz  connection working this year or will they have to wait until next season? Or what they really need to do is fix that defense fast. The West is an easy division to win they should know they won it two years backs.  The Cards look to finally get win #2 against the Rams and the Ravens take on division rivals Steelers on the Sunday night game.

     Bengals V. Seahawks - The only thing I want to say about this game is that Charlie Whitehurst  is so good he makes Tavaris  Jackson look like a serviceable quarterback and that it self is a talent that is unmatched by any one. When the Seahawks made those moves in the offseason you thought ok they might be trying to win the division with more then a Sub .500 record. But then they started Q.B hunting and it was between Jackson and Matt Lienhardt it got real ugly because I really think Pete Carroll wanted his boy but Seattle's front office was trying to catch that Michael Vick Flow. Running Quarter back with a big arm now with Sidney Rice they thought it would be magic.  But the team that was thought to be a lost cause this year have been a pleasant surprise. Like a kick in the balls surprise and now they have two more first round picks from Oakland so they might be fine without Carson and Chad. The Bengals had this game won by the time the Quarter hit the ground and if it wasn't for the Seahawks kicker I doubt they would have even competed in this one. The Bengals take their 5-2 record against the Titans adn the Seahawks will get murdered by the Cowboys.

  Saints V. Rams-The Rams are the first of the beaten to win a game. Whoopee dooo  first the world series and now the first win of the season for the Rams they must be going nuts right now. The Saints could not handle A.J. Feely and the boys last sunday and it was humiliating. Do you remember A.J. Feely  they first version of Kevin Kolb. The only thing A.J. Feely is famous for is that his wife is a vastly superior athlete and way more attractive then any normal 4th string Qb should have. But really it was all about Stephen Jackson. That dude is a straight beast. The Rams play the Cards and the Saints take on the Bucs and look to make up for their shitty performance.

   Lions V. Broncos-Since this was Tebow's second start this season it was the one you look back on his whole career which shouldn't last too much longer since everyone has given up on the kid after his second start this season. Aaron Rodgers  was said that he couldn't win big games in his first two years as a starter. So they know what they are talking about. But the Lions don't give a shit who they play they just want to win. They beat up the Broncos. It was ugly. The Lions have a bye so they can't hurt anyones feelings this week while the Broncos take on the other disappointment Carson Palmer and the Raiders. That was sarcasm.

   Patriots V. Steelers-Whats going on with the Pats offense lately? They put up a stinker against the Cowboys and now they don't score until the second quarter. Wasn't this the team that dropped 500 yards and was the highest scoring offense for the first 3 weeks of the season.  After their game against the Jets the Pats look flat  but still managed to win a game. The Steelers on the other hand haven't really been fire them selfs but have been beating teams they have to get back into the running. Big Ben has been playing better and will now have to step up against the Ravens to prove that week 1 matchup was a fluke. The Pats take on the Giants and the Steelers take n the Ravens. Oh nerd news Big Ben is going to be the Villain in the new Batman movie. Or something like that.

  Chargers V. Chiefs-I don't know if I said this one time before. But the combo of Norv  Turner and Philip Rivers are quite possibly the most overrated and biggest piece of shit coach quarter back combo in the world. How can you have all of that talent that the Chargers have and the Division they play in they shouldn't be ever at a .500 record.  They do not deserve to ever be called a good team. On the other hand the Chiefs are hunting right now. 3 game winning streak gross beards and  a Young  offense that is doing work without its star . I hate the Chargers and I hope they lose to the Packers and the Chiefs  I hope keep it going when they take on the Dolphins.

  Eagles V. Cowboys-How many times do I have to tell you people the Cowboys are terrible. I don't care what their history says. When you have talent you should win. If you can't win compete and the Cowboys fail to do that when they play good teams. If the Cowboys lose this week against the Seahawks they aren't making the Playoffs. And The Eagles, Shady Mccoy is an animal. If it wasn't for A.D , Stephen Jackson, Fred Jackson, Darren McFadden and my obvious hatred for anything from Philly  I would think he is the best back in the game. The Cowboys should by all means kill the Seahawks and the Eagles take on the  Bears monday night which should be a really good match up.

   Giants V. Dolphins-3/4th of this game I was mad. 3/4 of this game I was furious. 3/4 of this game I felt like throwing a hammer through my t.v. But then my dude Eli did what he does best and that last 4th of the game came back. Reggie Bush looked like a man with some big ass inside knowledge or something. Busting up the Giants with 100 yards rushing, he never does that. Funny thing about this game. I went into work during the last I'd say 10 minutes of the game and my boss came into my office and was like " Did they win? The Giants did they win?" :" Hold on ... (Cory Webster int) yes they just did," : "Good now get to work I'm not paying you to listen to football I am paying you to be nice to people ... Who's the sunday night game?"  The Giants take on the Pats and the Dolphins take on the Chiefs.

   I hope everyone enjoys the games tomorrow/today. Let your fantasy teams run wild except if you are playing me then you can munch my butt hole. Should I start an upset of the week on these recaps? Ok I think I am going to give it a try lets see

Browns beat the Texans  or Colts beat the Falcons in an overtime shoot out which one will blow your mind?
Upset in my Fantasy Leagues : Icicles over Hammerstix . The Defense match up might be the factor 

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