Happy Thanksgiving Phuckers. I hope you enjoyed your meal and I hope you brought your home made shiv out for black friday so you can get that sweet as tits 80 inch T.V so if you are at any Long Island Walmart by the Nassau /Queens boarder watch your ass. Thanksgiving is strange to me because we are all nice to each other and thankful for what ever. So while everyone is all lovely dovie I saw fuck that noise I am about to list some hate on more talented then me but I just don't like them for reasons I will explain. You see kids that last sentence started out as me shit talking but soften up by showing humility and being humble of my athletic prowess thats called a comedic phrase or not I don't know I'm not an english major, get off my shit.
Here we go
Ndamukong Suh- The young defensive tackle from the Detroit Lions. I know I have sung your praises a little bit earlier in the season and I totally get you trying to show that the Lions are not a joke any more and you're doing a fine job of it. But you are a fucking dick thats the message from that man up stairs you always are talking about. You want to be a bad ass you want to be real as shit don't stop on a dude who's the ground and say you didn't intentionally step on a guy when its clear as day you had more intention on stepping on that dude then White Castle has the intention to make me shit water. Don't you know there are billion cameras around you watching you we all saw it bro.Your a leader on this team and your team needed you to be there to lead them to upset the Pack and you failed your team.Good thing you don't have one of those C's on your jersey because your assholeyness is a detriment to your team. And why can't you be named Nick or Nate or something that doesn't sound like just a bunch of letters smashed together. Its like your Mom was still loopy from the drugs when she had you and said I am going to name him "King Kong Suh" and someone said "Not him name Kong us" and the nurse just wrote that whole exchange down and boom there you are. Actually I really don't have too much of a problem with you. You seem to be a good dude with your donations but you're a fucking role model now champ. Fight the dude in the streets thats fine but not on national t.v with little Kong Suhs watching.
Derek Jeter-Who do you think you are? You think your hot shit because you have 3,000 hits and fuck hot chicks. Well, your an asshole. You are the reason why I find Yankees fans more stubborn then mules. "He's the Captain, ITs DJ3k, they should retire #2 through out baseball when he calls it a career, So what if this other shortstop hit over .300 and 20 bombs he's Derek Jeter". Do you know how annoying that is ? No, you don't because you sell fucking Fords when you get driven by Mr. Belvedere around while you pick up way to hot actress like hookers. You enjoyed World Series wins off the pimple ridden backs of your steroid filled teammates beat down their wives and threw broken bats at " Huey the bat boy" when the kids name is Harold. So take your 3,000 hits and your stupid kid and play fade and go handcuff a team. On a normal team your bullshit 2010 season would have earned you a 4 million over 2 year deal and that would be too much. I would have loved to see the Yankees move on when the negotiations went "south". Lets see that market for an over the hill shortstop who is a 7 hitter but is bitching about hitting in the top of the line up.
Hootie and the Blowfish-The greatest band in the world. Why the fuck did you break up? So Hootie can be a country star? Are you kidding me , America needs you guys. Drop another sweet tune on the population. Hold my hand ended racial tension from 1995-1996, Only want to be with you saved marriages and encouraged engagements in Dolphins fans 400%. Your cover of I go Blind straight up Hot Fire. But no Hootie wants to sign about whoppers and other country shit. Leave country to my girl T-swift and those d-bags with tap out shirts and Vag-jazzled hats. Go back to the BlowFish.
New Uniforms - What the hell is going on. It seems like teams are just coming up with ways to fuck with me. So I finally got that baller ass Blacked out Blue Jays hat and boom they come out with this old school looking swagger and here I am looking like a jerk. The Mets are going to rock these 50th anniversary shits that look like no big deal, I feel like the Mets are going to throw out these jerseys to try to get more cash in their pockets so they can get back in the flow of things but I never heard anyone saying " Yo I got this fresh throwback Jerry Grote jersey" so that is just a poor move. But like NHL teams put out new flow for the winter classic and they are terrible. I think in a few years Nike is going to take over the NFL jersey and equipment and It looks gross as ass. So What I am saying is I am all for sick ass jerseys but lets not go overboard fellas.
Cowboys-Yo you're not that great you're playing shitty teams now and this 4 game win streak is a joke. Take your false bravado and play a winning team with a tough defense . Get over your self fast because your shit is weak. Just because The NFL schedule makers have a huge boner for the 90's and for some reason they think Tony Romo is a good Q.B they gave you this soft served defense in the last chase months. The only team that has a winning record is the Giants and they are getting dick slapped in the next 2 weeks. So enjoy your cake walk to the playoffs you totally earned it. I hope Drew Brees rocks your face when you play them in the first round.
Ugh its late and I am running out of hate and just turning it into ramblings so I am going to call it a night. So whatever I 'll be back later.