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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I make your computer hotter then a lighter would... Worked for Childish Gambino , Top 10 beers for the game bro


   Ladies welcome to No Shave November again and if you don't know what that is. Its when bros such as my self grow out the most grossest beards for one full month for bro solidarity, a lot do it for  good reasons ( testicle cancer, and other man problems) but really what it its called is chick deterrent.  But we are not here to talk about my sweet sweet  future beard. We are here to talk about the top 10 beers to drink and get Fucked up at games or at the bar to watch a game. If you are under 21 please drink responsibly  when you are drinking illegally. Originally this was going to be a post on how much I hate the Dallas Cowboys and just decimate them , their owner, their fans, the children of their fans just anyone associated with that franchise but I realized if I did that the Phantom Spotlight would be put on them and that shit anit   gonna happen.  It would have been the exact opposite of what my cousin Melissa told me to write. See I know what she was thinking . I would rather right about how much beer I drink then help out family .

  The most difficult thing about this list is that a lot of ball parks are very company centered due to sponsorships and fame of the brew. I.e Miller park: Miller , Coors Field: Coors, Busch Stadium : Budweiser,  and Minute maid stadium: Sunny D.  So its tough but I am super smart so I will make it happen

10.  Red Strip-Don't look at me like that. I am taking this on solely on a recommendation from MD   When we were hanging out during game 1 of the Detroit Rangers series bro put down all six. Now I never really dug the Jamaican beer but he wouldn't stop singing its praises. So Hooray Beer . Try it worst that could happen is you don't like it and you drink better beer. 

9. Sam Addams - Now I know I am a classy dude and drink a cold Sam during a game will defiantly class up the joint and the toothless  bar flies will give you the nod of approval. Sadly that isn't true. you drink a Sam in a dive bar shit is probably warm but if you get stuck with your girlfriend and her friends at some place where you had no say in going to and they have the game on while they are talking about shoes or what ever girls talk about that doesn't concern you  order a Sam and it will automatically strike up conversations with the other bros there. 

8. Guinness-Listen If you only have a few dollars on you and you are hanging out at the bar on a non pay week while your friends are getting faced on beer after beer and all you have enough money for is about some food and maybe 3 beers but you have and you might have to leave going with the Black Magic wont disappoint. Yes I know it tastes like it was rung out of sponge used to clean your car sometimes. But if the bartender is on they're   fucking game it tastes like heaven. A Guinness and a meat sandwich of you're  choosing  a good game and some good laughs sounds like fun. But what ever do don't make it you beer of the night unless you come from Ireland or 100% because you will get messed up.

7. Pabst  Blue Ribbon-I can hear my dude Chester now " I got some PBR for the draft brotha   , you want me to get you a 12er   because they are $3?" Its true though PBR's are fuck cheap. I remember a few years back M.D and me went up to Alston and Lowell Mass to see Dropkick Murphys in  Lowell during St.Patty day weekend and we bought like 42 PBR's and only spent $20 so that was pretty awesome. Too bad we drank them all within the first 4 hours after we got to the place we were crashing at. Now PBR is the official soft drink of Hipster. Not thrilled about that but what ever they'll move on to something else I like in a few more months. Hey Hipsters I really dig junco  jeans they are so non main stream.

6. LandShark - What I fucking love this shit. Its like Corona for men. LandShark is brewed by Jimmy Buffett and other Parrot heads. Frankly this beer is a shocker. You have the first one and its pretty good not to heavy but the right amount of flavors that make worth getting a second round and then boom you realized you have had 12 of them and you are the life of the party by hyping up chugging contests between the girls and the guys in the place, singing Bon Jovi  and Paul Simon. It's a good summer beer and  it travels well to the parking lot of the game. Doesn't work to well past September 24th  though. 

5. Coors Original - the hardest beer to  find in a bar. But If you are chillin' with your boys at a small gathering that promises beers and food this is could be your  go to beer if you want to be full up by the end of the night. I like this beer because it is just as classy as Sam but with out the ego. Its like drinking a blue collar. The banquet taste great during the summer months but what makes it great is that it's an all purpose beer. Like I said its class, it respectable, and it will get you toasted after like 7 of them so you get a good night out of it. 

4. Miler Lite -  It's a lite  beer so of course you can slam a bunch of these downs and still be able to tell you favorite story of your big moment in little league with out sounding like  a drunken asshole. Its got that cool bottle and it tastes pretty good with a burger. The good thing about this brew is that its available pretty much everywhere so you can get it and have a good time.  * Miller High Life, Miller Genuine Draft get a nod of being solid but since they aren't as prevalent as the light beer they lose points for a weak constitution. 

3. Bud Light-I never had a bad time  with Bud light... Oh wait yes I have. But still this is probably the most popular beer with bros, hoes, old timers, and just about everyone. They sell it fucking every where and it is reasonably priced so yeah why not be the 3rd. If you drink beers you know the legend of the Bud Light so I really don't have to get into it that much. Bud light is the O positive of beers. It goes with any type of food and is sociably acceptable at parties and at the game or if you're drinking alone. 

2. Coors Light-I drink a lot of Light beer it looks like. This might be the most controversial pick in the whole list. By the way if you are reading this and you  get mad that I have this listed as the #2 beer then Thank you so much for reading that is so nice of you and as much as I love you Loyalty you need to get out more. Back to my point of Coors light.  I  think Coors light is the most inconsistent beer in the game but the potential is unmatchable. If your first Coors Light is cold I mean really cold like when you hold it and take a sip when you put it down you have to rub your leg to warm up your hand cold. That is when it's the best beer you can taste and then every other one you have will make you so happy. But if the first one isn't that cold then is sub par then every one you have from then on will just get worse. Coors light is available at games and every where and it is strong enough to get you drunk and light enough that you can have a bunch and still have the motor skills it takes to get rejected by the hottest girls in the place. Plus you can't the fact the Silver Bullet is a pretty sweet band

1. Budweiser-Bud Heavy, The King of Beers, The General. Now I have never had a bad time drinking Budweiser. This is America in a glass. Great taste, matches well with the classiest of steaks to the cheapest of burgers so you can hang and be comfortable like a champ.  5 of these bad boys and your night is set. Lets face it any one who says that Bud heavy is not a good beer and makes America seem low class is a huge dildo.  Look I know there are tons of beers out there some are really good, some are really bad, some will fuck you up hard and some wont but Bud heavy is the Stan Musial of beers. Its awesome and you just have to accept that, no matter how you try to defend your case The General will stand up against every beer and be close or closer. Buds are the best beers to drink when watching Baseball football and even Hockey. All my favorite sports stories I have heard or told to my friends have been due to the King. So give it a shot and stop being a dick

   Just like every other top 10 list this is a fact and I wont apologize for my opinion so there is no point to even argue with it. Though if you want to express you opinion I would love to hear it. So you see that little rectangle thingy    at the top of the post to your right  that says Facebook . Click on that bad boy and like the page and add the Phil Baller  that is the Facebook page you can send your guest posts and feedback to. Happy No Shave November 

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