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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

7 sports that are just as boring as my writing

                          

   First things first last night I wrote that the Texas Rangers had 30 hours to sign Yu Darvish  they actually have 30 days so I was about 690 hours off. My bust. But today I wanted to finally talk about the sports I will never ever talk about on this site. Yes, its that time of the year where I feel that I should finally explain to the world wide viewers who view this site through google images and other search engines and wonder why I don't talk about their favorite sports. I am not saying the other two jerks wont write about them if they ever decide to write again.


So the parameters of this list is different then the others. This list is going to consist of "sports that are covered on major networks that are forced into our grill pieces and we are supposed to take it because  there is nothing else on at 3 am.  But to clear it this is the wikipedia definition  of sports. So look it up instead of me telling you because I have some bridges to burn.


7. Cup Stacking -  If you have ever been up before 8 on Espn  they play the Cup Stacking regionals or state championships or whatever  teams from across the world come in to some  convention center in some back ass county Oh hey Cup Stacking promo team check out Nassau Coliseum that shit should be vacant soon. Ok its basically kids competing so I really shouldn't be too critical . I just  hate the fact that they give this the whole sports work up. The team of commentators the graphics the whole sha -  bang a bang .

6. The Spelling Bee - Its obvious that I do not care for spelling.  But do I really need to have updates during real sports about some nerd kid from a private school in the   Golden Coast. Seriously bro I don't care you can spell words like Complementary or Dorritos  so shut up. Why do you need a sentence bro? what is that going to help with ?

5. Curling - What the hell is curling? There are brooms and stones on a frozen shuffle ball court.  Is this exciting or boring. Men and women play or compete or do this I honestly do not know this really called so I am just going to stop talking about it because figuring out what it is, is making me aggravated.  How is this an olympic sport and Football isn't where is the justice where is the justice ?

4.  Dallas Cowboy football - I know I have mentioned them often on this site but I hate them so much and no matter what they do they suck. Everything about them sucks. That stupid star logo, that gigantic travesty of a stadium , stupid Ed Werder  basically having to change his pants every time he talks to Tony Romo  or mentions his name and everything about them . God they suck.

3. Poker - This is not a sport this is not interesting this  does not take any athletic talent it takes the ability to read the other person to and luck. I am sick and tried of this being on t.v its just as boring as curling. This is stupid because the players only lose money . I want to see some one call a guy a scoundrel and shot him in the lapel with a derringer and hope off the steam boat in to the mighty Mississippi. So don't give me this rando  lame ass is the most intimidating person in sports because he wears sun glasses that reflect skulls.  You know who wears those ? People who also wear shirts with wolf murals on them.  Not intimidating at all

2. Golf - When Tiger Woods was exposed to be a someone who is actually cool the tight wads  at the PGA did not  exploit the awesomeness of that whole scandal. No instead they hyped up some lame ass young golfers who are huge d-bags ( You think Greg Norman would do this shit ?) who are not that good because there are still better players out there. So the reason I hate golf  is not because I am bad at it. Actually I have a good short game and I re-tooled my drive and I can reach the green on a par 5 in 2 so I can hack it. Problem is everything about it is so lame. Do I care that Ricky Fowler is a person who plays golf, no I don't fuck him where is Tiger Woods, John Daly and Happy Gilmore? The PGA also bagged Tiger for ripping off F-bombs at tour events. I bet pro golf is just as frustrating as Words with Friends so I don't blame the guy.


    1. NASCAR - Americas most popular sport.... That isn't a sport ... That shouldn't be considered a sport because anyone with a drives licensee can be a pro driver. Oh boy they drive fast and turn left , so intriguing I can drive the speed limit make both rights and lefts and still not lose control of my car. Oh and Danica Patrick is not attractive at all she is mediocre at best , who know who is hot Hope Solo and thats because she wins and is actually very good looking. But Nascar is just as boring as all of these other so called "sports"  and there is some sort of point system, honestly how can this have rules besides  : Start race, make 500 left turns don't crash and finish the 500 turns before the other guy.  Simple  right ?  But no there is some sort of extra points of winning that makes no sense what so ever.  I better be careful Kyle Busch and Jeff Gordon might run me off the road tomorrow... I 'll just turn right and lose them.

   7 so called sports. I couldn't think of 3 other "sports" that annoyed me as much these. Hell I would rather watch the WNBA or Women's  Soccer instead of any of these dull fest's. I am actually exhausted from writing about this things. Also Hope Solo is hot. Nuff said.

                        

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