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Thursday, January 19, 2012

I have no idea what SOPA is but I think they hate me so lets see what happens

    Sorry I haven't posted since what sunday / monday. It has nothing to do with SOPA  or pipa  or what ever is going on. I am not certain I fully understand it but if I get in trouble for copying an image from google or a link from youtube my shit is done. Thats my thing and I don't make enough to pay the fee or hire a lawyer or even enough to pay off  my car bill at one shot. My mind has been elsewhere to be honest and I haven't watched any sports since monday night so I am way behind on my sports. Are they still playing basketball ? Sorry peeps my shits been jumbled.



    I was trying to catch up on some sports yesterday. Now when I do that I go through a few websites to see what is the big topic or what is going down in sports that day. I normally hit up  MLB.com, NFL.com, Yahoosports, Barstoolsports ( I like to GTA) , and Bleacherreport that is just a few of the sites I like to check out and I told you about it because I  think thats what I have to do with this whole SOPA shit. But anyway I was stopped in my track because of a Yahoo article about my favorite my gurllll  T-Swift. Yeah apparently Taylor Swift found out  dating rich famous and good looking dudes is not her cup of tea because they are scum bags. She wants a dude who isn't a bitch ass fool and not bothered by her success and security. Well, look no further T-Swift I am the man of your dreams.   I am going to be honest  I can carry my own  I don't really need you to buy me things , I can cook (kinda), clean , fix shit , I am extremely patient with stuff, I clean up well, I am totally cool with making my self look like a jackass ( see this is an example) and my taste in music is pretty good so we can have a good time just hanging out.  Oh best part I look nothing like a Joanass Brother, John Mayer, Jake Gyellnhall or any other celebrity though I have been mistaken for Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly and the Stay Puff Marshmallow man but never in a negative way.  If you read this and you don't find it creepy you can hit me up on twitter ,  Facebook or the email .  I look forward to not hearing from you and if your are reading you might want to stop now because I can almost grantee you that it wont get any better then this...

   Instead of sports I have been watching movies with strong female leads though... I do have some questions about them which I do want answers to.  The three movies I recent watched that well lets just say caught my interest were The Roommate, Black Swan and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Ok I know that last one is not a movie with a strong female presence but I do have my questions.  So where should I start well the common question I have for 2 of the 3 is, where the boobies at ? I am sorry but when I hear the words horror movie or straight to dvd I expect to see at least 3 sets of boobies. Don't give me this shit that the actresses are trying to crave out a career as a respectable actress , which is total bull shit because Helen Mirren did it way back in the day and look at her everyone respects the shit out of her so much they don't mention Caligula at all.  I feel "The Roommate" would have been 400x more watchable if I don't know one of the hot girls in it showed some boob instead of nothing. There were so many opportunities and they blew it. I really don't have a problem with "Dale and Tucker" because it was goofy. But the Roommate was trying to be scary. Look my arguments wont be boob based but horror movies have formula. It goes Boobies then blood then boobies,boobies and boobies then blood ,blood  then boob then blood movies over 75 minutes well spent this is how shit works it's the rules that are set in stone for shitty horror movies. Look Black Swan was crazy as shit. She is crazy, then a lesbian , then a bird , then crazy again and she hands out with the worst kind of people. So I blame them for Natalie Portman descent into crazy all she need was someone to be like " Hey Natalie Portman its cool take a shit and clam the fuck down . Hug? " and it would have been a way different movie. Overall Black Swan brought the crazy and left it on your door step and made you deal with it , you should check it out. But "The Roommate"  refrain from watching . Please its fucking awful. Here you think "Oh shit I am finally gonna get to see more of  Minka Kelly and a bunch of other hot chicks who want to be leading ladies on a CW drama where they can get banged in the ear by a vampire , so shit is gonna be sexy." But after the first 15 minutes you realize you have been bamboozled. First off I had the volume up to 75 on my t.v and I still couldn't really hear Minka Kelly say anything and when you could under stand what she was saying it was like she also was think "What the fuck am I saying, no college freshman says this shit."   Oh yeah another implausible aspect of this shit film. The "love interest" is a Frat boy who plays the drums  in a shitty college band who has Minka  Kelly live in the frat house when the plot thickens. OK lets be real for like 2 seconds frat dudes who play the drums are usually swimming in pussy and swimming in roofies , second Minka  Kelly living more then 2 minutes inside of a frat house is the most ridicules thing I have ever seen. There would be some serious Porky's shit happening all the time. No way , I'd do it do you know how hot Minka  Kelly is ?  But what ever I turned off my brain after Leighton Meester  dresses up like Minka Kelly and kills Minka's ex with a 1 inch box cutter. That movie is stupid and need at least 25 boobs to make it better.


     Finally I want to get a little bit personal. Now I am normally not the guy to let his personal life get mixed in with my alter ego( yes this is my alter ego , Real me is way cooler and can speak fluent english ). But My Dad has been in the hospital since last thursday with  diabetes fucking with his good foot ( he has one fake  leg). So he had a procedure yesterday and he is recovering and waiting on the doctors words. You know hospital shit. So last night me and my brother the BIG Q went to see him after his procedure and the room they have him was empty except for the dude next to him watching a tela  neuva  we hung out talked about the Giants , the Big Bang Theory, and then we watched Glee as a family. So today me and the Big Q went up to see him again and when we got into the room we saw that he profited 3 new roomies. Heres were it gets interesting the guy across from him was an evangelist which from what I guess is an extremely annoying christen. I know this because he and his lady were reciting bible versus and praying out loud. Now  I don't have a problem with that at all, everyone is free to pray to whatever or who ever they want to , thats what America was built on   so I have absolutely no problem with  the hymns and the praise him bidness  , look I have an uncle who is a minister and I am Irish so I know.
   Here is my problem, the Lady friend started to go to bed to bed and give the other guys a little sermon about the Lord and how he cured another person with  stage 4 cancer and how we all should except Jesus as our savior.  Then she came over to us to testify the good word , the only one of the 3 of us who kept a straight face was my dad because he is an old pro at listening to religious jiber  jabber since he went to catholic school and hasn't been back to mass since Christmas 1976.  Big Q is off in the corner hiding under his hat almost crying with laughter and I couldn't pick my head up due to my sarcastic grin and I was failing at holding back my laughter.  Lets just say we have our own way of "being one with our savior" and thats not it. I get she was trying to be nice and share words that put her at comfort but just because they work for her doesn't mean they work for everyone else.  So stop shoving it down peoples throat. If I offended you, you must be that person who does it. Today I felt like I was sodomized by the lord and not in the good way.... People are entitled to their own beliefs and what ever just don't shove it down our throats. Thats it, I mean the lady was nice but yo keep it to your self. I bet she would not be cool with me going over to her for 10 minutes and ranting about how  I feel that soda in a vending machine should cost $.25.  How does Champ Bailey deal with it ?

  I realize the hypocrisy  since I write a blog and I let my opinion be know by millions( Thousands...hundreds,,.dozens) but I don't force my view on you readers I give an informed argument and I give you the chance to get back to me with any difference of opinion and plus half the shit I say is coming from my ass and I let it be known. Yeah so thats it I'll get back to you soon. Hopefully I can still get pictures from Google.com because thats where about 85% of the views come from.        
   

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