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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Puke free since '03

   Crisis averted looks like I am on the road to recovery and I have to thank my amazing immune system which has to be the strongest  in the world since I haven't been to a doctor in over 7 years and I am somehow still alive. But I still have some residual effects and since last night was some of the most interesting sleep I have ever had ( I watched the new Nightmare on Elm Street which  was fucking terrible . I have a bunch of issues with that movie like how little concern the parents had for their kids and how if you were a fat kid in that area you had to be super pumped because only the annoying pretty kids got molested and murdered by the guy who lives in the basement of a nursery school. I mean come on if I heard that the nursery school I am sending my kid to had a guy living in the basement I would probably look for another school or maybe the police but thats just me )  so I would close my eyes for like 5 minutes and then wake up then close my eyes for 15 minutes and so on until I just said fuck it I have seen a bunch of the Nightmare movies so I know how this shit works and zonked out around like 2am.  But during my fever induced sleep the idea of who the Mets could trade or sign to make them better without breaking the bank.

    Where to start? Lets start with the biggest hole on the Mets is the pitching staff. As it stands right now Johan Santana might be ready so he will be the Ace of the staff , then the big lick Mike Pelfrey, Jon Niese , R.A Dickey and Dillon Gee. What the Mets could do is trade off Pelfrey to like the Twins for Francisco Liriano here is my reason Pelfrey might do well in a new city and the Twins are running out of patience with Liriano  and Lirinao  has been iffy since Santana left Minnesota so a reunion might help the hard throwing lefty a boost. Also it seems lefties seem to have a better go of it at Citi field then righties do  so plus side all around and the Twins like over hyped talent... Joe Mauer.  That move is just a hold over move until Harvey and Wheeler are ready to deal in the bigs but knowing the Mets they might lock Learn down for 6 years.  Plus there are always guys who are coming off down years looking to make it back into the spotlight each year so taking a flyer on someone could help out more then anything. Like Chris Young could have been something special last year if he didn't get hurt. Yeah I bet you forgot he was on the team for 5 minutes lsat year but look at Capuano he had a nice bounce back year and did what the Mets needed him to do ... Win more then 3 games and not die so that was a great signing.  

   Its sad to think that the Mets might have to trade off David Wright to help balance out the books. Wright  numbers have not translated well to Citi and he has been getting hurt more as he has been getting older but he still possesses power and the ability to play gold glove defense and hit. I suggest trading David to the Angels for Mark Turbo and Peter Bourgeois of course your gonna have to sweeten the deal up a bit so throw in Jenry Meja and two mid level guys to open up some space for the Angels. See the Angels have Mike Trout in the wait and dude can ball but Peter Bourgeois stands in his way in center field  and they have a pretty big hole at third. The Angels plan on making Turbo who took over 1st base for them last year and was a rookie of the year contender with 29 home runs but the Angels have made moves to make a series run with El Hombre and El douche bag (C.J. Wilson) so do you really want to rely on Turbo at 3rd with the sophomore slump and learning a new defensive  position. So this deal works out well sine Turbo and Bourgeois have yet to "break out " in the Bigs so they will arbitration ready after a few years. Bourgeois can man center and when Kirk Nieuwenhuis is ready to take over for Bay in Left field next year.  If you think about it Turbo and Bourgeois fit perfectly into the Mets Lineup : 1. CF Bourjos 2. 2b Murphy 3. 3rd Trumbo 4.1b Davis 5. Rf Duda 6.Lf Bay 7. C.Thole 8. Ss.Tejda 9. Who ever pitches that day.  Trumbo, Davis and Duda could be a very powerful trio .

   As I hinted to in the last sentence the Mets should probably trade Bay like the Yankees traded Burnett  to a team in 2013 to a team in the hunt who needs some power or defense because if you look at it Bay has been good on the field just not at the plate. Or they should trade him to a team like Seattle because they love to make stupid moves and Bay might love being close to home since he grew up in the Pacific north west but up in Canada. Yeah and since the Gm out there know the bare minimum about baseball the Mets could probably send Bay and Gee out there for John Jaso , Michael Saunders , and some pitching prospects. I know that's out there  but seriously then send Michael Pineda to the Yankees for Jesus Monitor who will not be that good out in Seattle.

     I am not 100% sold on Ruben Tejeda  and Daniel Murphy in the middle infield with no real good prospects in sight except for Reese Haven and Jordan Valdespin but there is really nothing good out there for the middle infield that would be cheap. So for right now I can deal with Murphy hitting .300 with a few knocks and platooning with Turner  who is a good option off the bench.  The Mets need good pitching and the pick ups in the bullpen adding John Raush , Ramon Ramirez, Frank Francisco  should be good enough to survive. I am available for a consultant job I will work for 3 years for 70 k which is a butt load cheaper then half the front office and I promise nothing.   Oh and in my final Act as  a member of Mets brass... Hire Paul Lo Duca as toughness coach ... Miss you buddy.

    Sadly I know these moves wont be made so it might be dark times ahead. The best we can hope for is a .500 season or the rare underdog run that mess up teams seasons but we should hope for the best because we are Mets fans and we are tougher then nails and have more character then Yankees fans because we know what its like to fail and we know what its like to win if we stick together and ride this out we can have a ton of fun. Ok I know its not one of my greatest rally cries but spring training just started... I don't know  but I do like playing Gm in pretend time. I think I might do this again.

Just a little monday mediocrity


    OK I want to keep this quick because I am on the verge of the craziest pukefest of all time. Yeah My brother the Big Q had this bug last week and now I have it and I am about t-minus 6 hours away from it taking off for 2days .

   I just want to clear some things that I might have missed in my last post. Ryan Braun got off his charges because his sample was held at the testing facility for a few days longer then  normal and because of that and that alone he will not be suspended.So  that is fair ... Douche Bag .

   Why is their hype on Danica Patrick ? Isn't she fucking terrible at driving and moderately attractive you know what will make her sexier ... If she won ever, winners are hot? Further more why is NASCAR so popular ? There is nothing special about people making left turns not even they are just veering left. Ohh you drive real fast  and cut people off  thats great  try driving 45 mph through Queens  and then tell me how difficult NASCAR actually is.  If you think about it when I turned 16 and got my drivers licensee I could have been one of the best drivers in NASCAR. Also You can't drive in the rain ? See right there you lose all credit as a competition based event because NASCAR is not a sport. Also Fox has got to be fucking kidding me with still  running coverage of the Daytona 500 since a car blew up like 3 hours ago or something and they are just showing these fucks sitting around. If you want to show rednecks doing stupid shit play cops or House or something else.

   Did anyone else think the Slam dunk contest sucked balls this year? 4 nobodies jumping over people and boring the shit out of me. I set my day up so I could watch it, I picked up some food made my self a descent dinner cracked a few beers and by the time whats his name did the black out dunk I was watching my 5th episode of Archer on Netflix. The NBA needs to do something about this. I get the A plays don't want to compete because they are assholes but come on. How about this make it like baseball , if a player has over 20 hard slams before the All star break they are asked to compete non of this if you want to you can because All star weekend has become Everybody show off weekend. Kevin Love won the 3 point contest  and beat Kevin Durant. SHock and AWe

   Umm I am actually gonna stop because... well shits getting real in my stomach

Friday, February 24, 2012

Ryan Braun Victim or Douche

 On the eve of the most exciting time in basketball the All-Star weekend but the one story I just can't get over is Ryan Braun walking away free and clear from his whole steroids issue. If you don't know or haven't heard , before the end of 2011  the winner of the 2011 N.L. M.V.P award Ryan Braun tested positive for  elevated testosterone which is cause for a 50 game suspension in the newer pitcher friendly MLB. Unlike most rule breakers Braun came out swinging he had his agent and a bunch of Brewers brass say that the test came out with strange and unusual circumstances(he's got the Herp from Aaron Rodgers sloppy seconds)  and pretty much tried splitting the opinion of the masses and the press.  But yesterday Braun was cleared of all his charges because of a flub in the testing process which opens the door for a whole bunch of shit. I have watched enough Law and Order SVu on netflix to know that when someone gets off to a technicality it sets up a new president where former offenders can appeal their crime and then rape and murder people again... That show needs some new story lines.

 But the thing is I don't care about the verdict frankly I think Braun is a huge douche. He tested positive for something, wether he was cleared or not he did something against the drug testing policy and he is acting like a victim. Lets not act like "former" owner Bud Selig didn't have his crypt keeper hands in this from the fucking start. Now I have to see Braun talk about integrity its like Bill Clinton talking about what is ,is .  I am surprised it has taken me this long but this post is going to be a list . Yes, I am bringing it back . This is going to be an All star roster of Douche bags in baseball. It has taken me almost a year to do this  I really need to brain storm some ideas on paper before I go it this all free and easy.

  I guess the name of the team should be the Philly  Yankees since were are talking about douches and Philly is a town who's water supply is straight douche liquid and the Yankees embody the essences of Summer eve.

 Here is your starting  line up
Catcher : A.J Pierzynski - I am surprised this guy didn't ask to go to Miami with Ozzie. Once called a team cancer and frequent reciver of punches in the face A.J whines and bitches about pretty much every call during the season. Normally I would have picked Joe Mauer or Buster Posey  but there is a difference between being a douche and being over rated.
At :
First Base : Miguel Caberra - Wether its sipping and cruseing around the Detroit area,  getting into argument with his "dog" who left human sized scratch marks on his face ,always showing up to spring training a few more pounds over weight each year or his all out hustle to first base  Miguel Caberra  is one of the few 5 tool players who sold off 3.5 of them so he can get a few more rounds at the club and a few more sandwiches but becareful  don't talk to him while he is eating because he will probably punch you in the face.

At :
Second Base : Chase Utley -  He hasn't commited a crime , beat anyone up , or done anything really awful he is just a huge douche... in my opinion . He is all about Peta and being in your face about adopt  pet not buy one which is kind of douchey because what happens to the poor dog who isn't getting purchased ?  Think about that ... Also once his name gets thrown around in the Mvp race he rolls up faster then .... Well you get it .

Third Base : Alex Rodrieguz -  Do I really need to explain why he is a douche.  Slapping the ball away, bringing his own food to restaurants , declaring to be a free agent during game 2 of the World series and then begging the Yankees to take him back at an over blown contract , never really saying the right thing, having a painting of him as a minotar hanging in his bedroom so the he/shes  he beds can see his unclutchness and  OH YEAH he took Steroids from 2001 - 2005 and had nothing bad happen to him.

At :
Short Stop : Derek Jeter - the Contract terrorist. He has basically handcuffed a franchise for the length of his new contract. Did the Yankees need to give him a 4 year deal ? No where the hell was he going to go. Not many teams are looking to give a 35+ short stop who has very little range (yes his range is weak. The only reason why he "still has it" is because those stupid jump throws which are simple back hand grabs that better short stops make easy and he has Robinson Cano doing all the work) who still thinks he can hit at the top of the line up when he hasn't stole more then 19 bases since 2009 and who is now hurt more then normal but he  refuses to give up the short stop position because he thinks he is special  Cal Ripken did it , Robin Yount did it  you're not better then them  maybe Yount but not better then Ripken

 In :
Right Field :  Manny Ramirez  - Just another case of Manny being Manny I guess.  I don't know if his troubles were a fabrication of the Red Sox smear department but either way He pushed an old dude down, wont play against tough right handed pitchers , took pills to help him ready his ovaries for carrying David Ortiz baby  and took steroids oh wait he took steroids twice. He is now hanging out in the A's farm system because they know the value of a dollar and will spend wisely to win . Like send off their best two pitchers and their closer for shitty prospects . MONEYBALL !

In :
Center Field : Josh Hamilton - I once respected this guy but then after he went on his whole Jesus kick because he was a drug addict and whatever. The funny thing is that while Hamilton is trying to get a new contract from the ATM known as the Texas Rangers  he hit the club or a bar or a 7-11 and had a drink. Josh has not really told how much he drank actually he never answered any questions about his " stumble' which is crap. I understand your a big league ball player but the Rangers have hired people to watch over you. I have no idea what its like to really go ape shit on vices but I know if I had an outlet like getting ready to play Major League Baseball I wouldn't slip up so much. Seriously in the past like 3 weeks I haven't really done to much and I bet if I had  a work out program ,one of those Texas wives and 11 million dollars and the only thing that would keep me from getting more money I wouldn't go near bad influences. It's easy pay $15 for an 18 or get paid 50 million dollars ... Cash Money...This has to be the funniest photo shopped photo I have ever seen.

In :
Left Field : Ryan Braun - See above paragraph. To further my   reason why I think Braun took something. Look at Prince Fielder how fast did that dude want out of the Walkee ?  He knew what was up and knew that if Braun got the 50 the Brew crew would be dead ass in the water.  Douche to the power of 9.

You're Starting Pitcher :
Cole Hammels - this smug jerk off has been running his mouth ever since he beat the Dodgers a way back. For a guy who is one part of the "best rotation " ever  he sure does get his ass kicked by lower level teams way to often. He thinks he should be an ace but puts up # 2 stats. During the 2009 season when the Phillies were getting molested by the Yankees he  said "I just want the season to be over already"  because he was getting his ass handed to him every time out there and since the Phillies have been a huge disappointment in the Playoffs ever since they lost the World Series I don't  think they will be anything god this year.

Your Closer :
Brian Wilson - the act is over since the Giants couldn't even make the playoffs last year. Nobody fears the beard any more and when you're a closer and have a 3.11 era and blow 5 saves in a division that decided by 8 games. Granted he didn't blow games at the end of the season which caused the overrated Giants pitching staff to not close the gap against the D-backs but with him being a huge tool and not getting serious when it counts cause me to think Wilson is thinking about life after baseball  while he is still playing.

 Yeah thats it these are the biggest Douches in the game right now. Also side note the Twins are huge d-bags because they are going to use former MVP Justin Morneau as the full time first basemen as he still recovers from concussion like symptoms. Justin has to be the Dh no question  it will keep him healthy and he is such a good dude that pitchers wont go head hunting on him. Thome is off the team so it's not like there is someone that can only be a dh is there , they signed up Ryan Doubt who can play catcher, first base and out field so they can legit start Doubt or Mauer behind the plate or at first base. But since the Twins realized they suck without Kirby Puckett and Torii Hunter they are doomed to always be the Yankees bitch. Good job on killing the only guy who can hit home runs on your team.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Happy lent bitches


   Yes, this is another one of those I am sorry posts. It seems to happen every few months or so . Yeah I kind of run out of clever shit to say and go blank for a few days or do I. Actually I am working on something that hopefully will be done before the one year anniversary of the Phantom. Probably it will but I like to procrastinate. Yeah I do so fuck Thomas Jefferson "Why put off to tomorrow what you can do today," like I am going to take advice from a guy who wore a wig and grew a shit ton of weed. But stay tuned I will probably hit back with a few more basketball posts but really we all know the score . Its baseball season. So here is a picture of Dianna  Agron  from Glee. Yeah I still watch Glee and I am not ashamed . I think you should be ashamed if you haven't caught on to the singsation that has swept the nation. Theres some sort of story line and hot girls doing stuff what else  could you want . Last night Jeff Fucking Goldblum was there doing his Goldblumy thing. All right look I gave up sugar and sugary products for lent. So no more late night Kazooles runs , no more soda, no more Red Bull, no more good shit it's going to be a rough 40 days.  I think I might hurt someone in the face thank God I am not an idiot and gave up something else.  What ever I will be back in a few days or whatever.


Sunday, February 19, 2012

Who thought it was going to be us who went super racist on LinSanity ?


  Pheww that was a close one. Thank God Espn was so quick to throw out the headline "Chink in the  armor". How long do you think they had that one in the chamber?  Yo probably, like the day after the Knicks signed him. Some crafty hipster who was working for the Mike Lucia show who got the job because he dates the daughter of the guys who runs ESPN New York or something like that .  This is coming off the first lose in about 2 weeks for the Knicks.  Yes, the magical feeling of a 7 game winning streak in a 66 game season , getting to .500 , everybody going crazy about the new point guard as everyone looks at the worst case scenario when Amar'e and Melo come back because they forgot that 1. Amar'e loves the pick and roll like I love deep fried oreo's and 2. Lin and Melo played against the Nets and both had pretty good games, and finally everyone saying their favorite racist joke that they hear from their great uncle and ending  it with Insanity made me do it so that they don't offend anyone.  It's the guilty white person way of saying "No Homo" to Asians and the Black person way of saying absolutely anything they want because they have some funny shit to say, Thanks Kanye... After that grouping of word it kind nails the point home on how shocking it is that I didn't start the most racist thing about Incoming mail ... That doesn't work how about Lindow cleaner ,no , Linfu young with fired rice , hmm it's really hard to remember words that start with Lin or trying to remember my chinese food menu.

    Honestly I bet the order of who people thought would have been the first to drop the racist headline would have went : 1. Barstool , 2-1,000,000 other sites 1,000,001 Phantom Ballplayer and then all those prestigious web sites  and Espn would be dead last. But Espn has fired that reporter which is good because this was his 3rd warning and when you write for a world wide Sports media provider that type of "humor", "turn of phrase" or what ever you want to call it should not be allowed. I am just shocked that it took this long really, everyone has been dancing around it very diligently. Wait is diligently the one where you just say pretty much the worst thing you possibly and then blame other people when you cross the line ? If you want to know why this is such a huge thing in the sports world I'll tell you.


    The biggest sports market in the world has a player with a name that you can spell other words with, he is a good point guard playing in the right system where he can  pass and shot with a high succession rate, playing with solid guys around him , and oh yeah everyone is a kind of a tiny bit super  racist. Did that just blow your  progressive liberal minds?  Oh if Lin was Black he wouldn't get any press , oh really... Derek Rose,Rajon Rondo, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, John Wall, Russell Westbrook, Monte Ellis, Ricky Rubio, Tony Parker, Brandon Jennings , Jason Kidd, and Steve Nash. You see that that a fuck load of point guard who are better except for John Wall (who is Lin's bitch)  that have all been said to be the best point guard in the NBA at one point in their careers. 90% are African American, Rubio is Spanish , Parker is French , Nash is Canadian , and I have not clue what the hell Jason Kidd is. Think he is albino but I am not 100% on that. What I am trying to say is that all of those guys I have listed play the point extremely well and if they came to NYC and were winning games they would have catchy headline is the daily rags too. Derrick Rose "Madison Rose Garden" , Russell Westbrook" Upper Westbrook side shooter" , Tony Parker"Central Parker strangler " ,Rajon Rondo" Another Rondo hook up", Steve Nash " The New York Nash exchange"  and " What the fuck is Jason Kidd!... Seriously " see how easy that was.  It's really all about the W's and all that other stuff is just filler in between boner pill commercials thats the  Sports world. And to Floyd Mayweather, are you the guy who fought the Big Show because you'r a spotlight seeking slut and like other sluts just keep your mouth shut and get punched in the face by Manny Pacquiao

    So I took about a 24 hour break in between paragraph so if there any inconsistencies  I don't really apologize. This was a flimsy idea to begin with. I mean I do find it funny that pretty much this whole month which we honor  African Americans and their struggles, hardships  and triumphs where we see countless specials about Jackie Robinson, Martin Luther King J.R,  and others I just find it funny that on the other end of it they are kind of making fun of another race. I mean there is something there I just don't know what but I can see it. Also I think its about time we kinda chill this Insanity stuff because there are a bunch of other guys who are playing on the Knicks and they are doing very well. Chandler is in the Top 13 and climbing in rebounding , Melo is ranked 8th in scoring and has a shot to contend for the scoring title if he stays healthy and Steve Novak is going to become the new spokesmen for State Farm since he double checked on the Mavs today. So lets move on guys it's getting Linbearable  it shows how you have original ideas anymore it's really humLingating or what ever you have a journalism degree you can figure it out.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Gary The Kid Carter

     Earlier today we heard the new that Hall of Fame Catcher long time Montreal Expo and New York Met Gary Cater has pasted away after losing his year long  battle with brain cancer, Cater was 57 years old. Carter played for 19 years with the Expos,Mets,Giants,Dodgers, Expos and hit 324 career home runs. Being inducted to the Hall of fame in 2003 which put a cherry on top a great career.  His number was retired by the Expos a few years before the Expos left for D.C and has been looked at as a hero by fans of the New York Mets  franchise. There will be multiple articles written today that are going to be way better then this but in the next paragraph I would like to say a few words in honor of Mr. Carter.

   When I was younger I had 3 heros in my life Raphael from the Ninja Turtles, Peter Venkman from Ghost Busters , and Gary Carter granted I was 1 years old when the Mets won the World Series and was 4 when they waived him in 1989 but I admired how "The Kid" played the game and if it wasn't for Gary Carter I would have played soccer so I am entirely grateful for that. When I first started playing baseball I wanted to play catcher and have the number 8 but that number was taken and in tee ball playing catcher isn't really that awesome since you can't block the plate and wear your huge ass glasses under the mask without your mother getting mad at you. When I was growing up one of my favorite items was a Gary Carter autographed baseball. It was given to me as a gift when I was a young sprout. I used to rub the ball for good luck before every tee ball until first year of kids pitch because I thought maybe I could play like Gary. Didn't work but I still think of Gary as an idol till today.  I feel and I know I am not alone on this. But since the Expos no longer exist and the Nationals did not continue to honor the previous retired numbers , I feel that as a show of respect for the 5 years that Gary played in New York and since he brought a title, was a 4 time all star , 2 time sliver slugger,  and was a award winning manager in their farm system. I feel that the Mets should retire the #8.  It seems like the right thing to do.

    I could go on and on about how great Gary Carter was as a person and how great he was as a player. But if you watch MLB Network they will put on a great video tribute for him. Thoughts and prayers go to his family.  Rest in Peace Gary "The Kid" Carter 1954-2012.


Is it me or is it just my ego.

    I don't want to take credit for this whole Lionization that is gripping the greater New York/world area but I will try. A few weeks ago I wrote about how the Knicks needed a change and someone to be a real point guard and let Amar'e Melo and Tyson do their thing. And just like the Tigers,D-backs ,Mets (at least for 6 games) and Image searches for Doria Baird. The Knicks have reached a whole new level. So is it just putting in the right players in the right places or it's my golden words . But since I am a humble guy and I pay attention to everything I am going to make the right choice

  It's All me . That other asshole who writes here every once and awhile might call him self "Baseball Zeus" and other bullshit but I am the Sports writing King Midas, what ever team I talk about turns to Gold... except the Mets they just go on short winning streaks and then trade off good players. But yes what ever I saw is gold and you are the beneficiaries. You are my people and I shower you with my golden wisdom.

   Thats it I have nothing else I want to talk about today. I just wanted to stroke my ego as well as make a few pee jokes and then finish it up with a subtle jacking off joke you know something different. Thats what I am all about right now. You see I could have written about how Josh Hamilton and everyone covering him is pretty much a phony. I mean the chastise Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry every time he relapsed but this guy they treat a sickly cabbage patch doll. Dude screwed up had a beer lets cover it like a sex scandal and then when he gives a press conference and take no questions let just let it go like it's no big thing because that's fair.  I don't want to get into it , its late and I have been farting since yesterday so I need to settle my shit down. In closing  What ever team I touch with my words turns to gold . I literally spit hot fire .   Also the reason I put a picture of whats her face in the first paragraph is because in my first draft I had this joke about her new movie. But I deleted it and then forgot I deleted it  so when I was looking for images on Google images which by the way lets give it up to Google for being possibly the best site/ search engine ever fuck all those other clowns. Get your search game up cuz Google runs the court on you jokers.... Now show me some love Google .  

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Knicks V. Rangers in a showdown for the affection of The 212 (Title Town)

  How much does the sports world hate New York right now ?  It just seems that the City that never sleeps also never loses. Shit that would be an awesome t-shirt (patten pending patten pending ) or has it been made in to a shirt , either way this has been a good 2 weeks for the Empire State  since Tom Brady threw that incomplete hail Mary.  Both the Rangers and the Knicks have been nothing but fire since the Giants won. I know I just repeated my self but I love saying that the New York Giants ( thats right Chris Christie you fat bastard. The Giants have been playing in New Jersey since the 70's and still say they're a New York team. Get the hint )  are Super Bowl Champions.   I have to stop that and talk about the Knicks and Rangers.  The two teams that share the Garden might in fact tare it apart with too much awesomeness. Like that scene in Godzilla but instead of it being filled with Raptor babies its filled with home made Jeremy Lin jerseys and dudes with #30 on fedoras.

     Right now the Knicks are in the grips of "Lin-sanity". If you haven't heard and I don't know how you did unless you count on the Phantom as your  only sports news source and by that I say thank you but bro you gotta expand your horizons. Jeremy Lin is an undrafted second year point guard from Harvard  who average about 16 point per game and has been nothing but fire since coming off the bench against the Nets and dropping 20 plus point and then going H.A.M  on the next three teams  Jazz, Lakers and T-Wolves  right now he has a double double going on against the Raptors. But the whole world is buzzing about how good Jeremy is. I mean he put up 38 on Kobe  and is actually running the point which the Knicks desperately need.  Lin was able to shine as the solo star since Melo has been out with a groin /leg injury and Amar'e  has  missed the last few games due to the death  of his older brother. But he is now back in the rotation and is thriving with Lin at the point They sit 13-15 and 8th overall  in the East and climbing. Oh yeah the Knicks just won. Lin-sanity continues . Lin with 27 pts and 11helpers ,Stat with 21 and 9 rebounds , Chandler with 13 and 9 rebounds , Landry and Iman both had 8 pts and the rest of team under preformed. They were out rebounded all game but with Chandler being such a boss late and Jeremy Lin suffering from clutchensons and being propelled by the power of twitter and slightly racist catch phrases.  Crouching Tiger  Hidden Point guard , Linja   and a bunch of others that I don't feel like saying. More on Lin later since that my thing , I like to beat a dead horse.

   On the other side of the Garden the New York Rangers have just been unreal...apparently. Look you know and I know I am not the biggest hockey fan. Frankly these words are going to be like writing french   but I will give it a shot.  The Rangers are 36-13-5 with 77 pts ( I don't know what that means). But yeah it seems like the Rangers are shooting fire I guess but they are having a hard time grabbing the spotlight from the afore mentioned Knicks because the Rangers  don't have a guy who's last name can be used as a prefix or someone that has a cool story. Instead they have Henrik Lunquivdst who might be the best goalie in the league and a few guys who are on pace to have career high goal scoring seasons. They are on a 5 game winning streak and just shut out The Stanley Cup Champs Boston Bruins.  It looks like the Rangers are the real deal. I have no clue when the NHL playoffs start but everyone is saying that they look like they can be a team to deal with which is great for this city.  Do the Islanders still play in New York ? I haven't heard a damn thing about them since they tried to play a scrimmage in K.C and like 5 people showed up.  Also I am pretty sure that 100% male Rangers fans would take one from Lundquivdst if he asked. Happy Valentine's Day !

   So who should get the light ?  Should the fans of New York  ride the 1st place Rangers and just be the out right favorite or should they go with the "underdog" Lincentric  Knicks who are working their way up the rankings?  Why not follow both at the same time. Its great to be an out right favorite but it is rewarding to be an underdog and right now the New York sports has the chance to be both at the same time. The Garden is hopping and on fire right now  which is great it's the early 90's all over again . Sorry rest of the Sports world  deal with it. Both Knicks and Rangers fans have been waiting for it.
      New York is going to win everything this year. It starts with Football next is Hockey followed by Basketball then Pro Lacrosse because I think New York has 7 teams in the  MLL league and then to put a pretty bow on it  with the Mets being the only team to win the World Series with the bare minimum of talent. You can call me at 1800-848-5286 ext 96 (Title Town).  If that is actually a real number first off thats pretty awesome and second off I am so sorry that no one will call you.   Go New York Go New York go!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hey mid west or whatever here I come

      I am going on the road Phuckers... Well at least  for like a day or something like that. I am headed to Iowa to help my cousin Leann move back to New York. So me and my idiot cousin Mikey who apparently might write for this site again are taking the Mid west by storm and what I mean by storm is taking a plane to Chicago then making the ill transfer to another plane then going to what ever airport is out there, hanging out there for like a quick minute , and then getting in a car and driving  back to New York. We leave at 6:30am and return who the fuck knows.  I don't know what to expect from the crazy I or what ever they call Iowa but I bet I wont get to see a lot of it. 

    Yeah So I when I get back I will try to get one last Giants post in ,  Start covering the Knicks like a champ because they are moving ,  since baseball starts in a few more days and  my euphoria of the Giants will quickly disappear and who knows maybe their might be a hockey post who knows its a crazy world . So I will be back monday and hopefully some great company will get my awesome resume and give me a job. I might not be the most experienced but I look pretty good in a suit , and I am a natural leader so. Synergy, product integration, business jargon   profit points and shit like that .  

Wednesday, February 8, 2012



      This Morning I woke up got dress right around 7:15 am just in enough time to make an 8:03 train to the city to watch the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants march down the legendary Canyon of Heros where so many ...Heros have marched before. So with some spare time I  drove through the nearest McDonald's and purchased me a bowl of their oatmeal which I have had and have enjoyed before. But today was different because that shit ran through me pretty bad. Know I would have trooped through it but it was too much so I went home and lets just say I missed the next 5 trains and for every one step forward I took 2 steps back to my bathroom and one more poop joke I think you'll get that I was in pain. So with a moment I sent a text to one of my buddies ,Little Grinke  or L.G for short  and asked him to cover the parade and because L.G is such stand up guy (big fan of the site ) he even took pictures of the Parade to.  So while L.G and a few other of my friends had a great time #OCCUPYINGTHECANYONOFHEROS  I was camped in front for my T.V feeling both  terrible and guilty. If more then 6 people read this thing I would have hidden in my basement.       

     Parade coverage by Phantom field reporter  L.G. ... Heads up the font is going to get a little weird

"    Ok well today was the parade celebrating big blue's 4th Super Bowl win, and after experiencing it first hand all I can say is wow! Wow that that many people can be shitfaced  before noon. Their had to be over half of the estimated million fans in attendance totally plastered. Besides the smell of booze though, the parade was incredible. The atmosphere there was unbELIevable, cheesy, I know.

     But people were going nuts all the way from Penn station to the "Canyon of Heros" filling the air with chants of "Lets go giants!" and "Fuck Boston". The crowd also displayed their hatred towards the Patriots by nearly crucifying a kid probably around the same age as me (18 +) for wearing a Tom Brady jersey. He was having a bad day to say the least, he was having beer and expletives thrown at him like he was a wife of a redneck.

      It even got to the point were he had to be escorted out by the cops. Other than that there were absolutely no complaints, the floats were awesome and the fact that there were tons upon tons of shredded paper and toilet paper flying through the air, though most people (including myself) used the toilet paper to hit cars, sanitation workers and pretty much anyone else who looked like they deserved it. While Eli and Tom looked like straight up G's on their float as they passed around the Lombardi trophy, while Antrel  Rolle and the rest of the secondary were dancing around on their own float like a  50 cent video. But I do have to give a big shout out to Prince Amukamara who was rockin' an awesome flat top that would make Patrick Ewing  jealous. But when it was all said and done it turned out to be one of the best experiences of   my life. " 

     Short and sweet. It a nice change when someone else gives it a go isn't it ? I would like to thank L.G for covering the Parade for the Phantom and I would like to thank Gatorade for helping my stomach. Today was such a great day to have a  Championship parade. Best part is that all day I have seen Jets fans hit up twitter and Facebook saying how "classless ,how Giants fans should leave the Jets alone and blah blah blah"  but what they are actually saying " Come on guys. I know we talked a ton of shit before the season started and  since you beat us so bad and showed that we are really not as good as we said we are  that doesn't mean you have to let us know. "  Well our coach didn't say we were going to win the Super Bowl all he did was work to develop a good system with an elite level  quarter back , never giving up when they went on a four game losing streak, went on the road against the best teams in the NFL and beat those teams and oh yeah won the Super Bowl .   With Football being completely over I will do one more post about the Giants and I will try not to make Jets,Cowboys,and Pats fans cry with it . 

Monday, February 6, 2012


LETS GET CRAZY NYC AND NEW JERSEY !                       

     Is this how it felt to be a Yankees fans in the late 90's ? 2 Super Bowls in 4 years holy shit I can't believe it I am so pumped right now I don't even know. I am so pumped that I might actually write  a good post tonight.  NEW YORK GIANTS 4 TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS 

   It's just about midnight here in Title town and I don't think I can sleep until Friday but I will because going out and doing stuff cost money and I have very little and I plan on saving  what ever I have left for Tuesday while I celebrate at the parade( My conversation with M.D about the Parade:" Dude to bad your working on Tuesday" Me, "I work everyday dude" M.D " The Parade is going to be fire" me " you gonna go? " Idk I have to check my money see if I have enough"me " I feel you man" M.D "I don't have a lot, What's more important Gas, food or Glory?" Me "I always go with Glory"M.D)  . I want to give a big shout out to my cousin Jay who is a huge Jets fan but will be playing for the DSNY Pipes and Drums band during the Parade.  Also before I get real into it I want to give shout outs to all my Giants fans that I know I wont write their names but I want to give them a blanket shout :

     This was the culmination of hard work, loyalty, and determination by everyone involved from the Champions on the Field , The Coaching staff, The Owners ,Front office guys, Medical Staff, Training staff, Practice squad, the all  People who work at GIANTS stadium , and to us the fans ! Everyone picked the Giants to fail. Steve Smith left to join the "Dream Team" so Victor Cruz took his spot and guess what he aint giving it back and he is going to get paid. After a hot start the NFL threw the toughest schedule in the league and We all survived. Eli was mocked and ridiculed by everyone when he said he was an elite level quarterback and what did he do he out played and then beat  every "MVP" caliber quarter back ( I would like another shot against Drew Brees) top defenses couldn't stop Eli when it counted now that he holds the record for most 4th quarter touchdown passes. The Defense was busted up for the first half of the season and then shut the   door on when it counted. We all won today we all fought hard with this team and they fought hard for all of us. This is a great day for Everyone who wears Giants colors with pride. It was us against the World and We won !

   OK so I am glad I got that out . I am so proud to be a  Life long Giants fan. But I would like to show some love to the Patriots and their fans. They went 13-3 this season which is great  and they have such a great offensive team. That  O-line is strong and Gronk/ Hernandez are just beast when healthy, and Robert Craft is one of the most classicist owners in the league I wish him luck and my prayers to his family. I know this is going to sound assholeish  but the best of luck next year I want you to fucking own the Jets.

     Today before the real Super Bowl  a crew of  rouges that I put together with Coughlin  like intelligence (side not I spelt intelligence wrong the first time)  to play football against the Elmont Fire department.  Well, we should have made up rules before the game because the first 30 minute was just making the rules and then the next 20 was editing those rules  but when we got rolling the Phantom Ballplayer Hooligans rolled big.

 Here is a game recap and I am sorry to the Elmont  Guys due to the Super Bowl I forgot most of your names except for Chester, Boris, and Tito because I know them.

  Starting Qb/defensive tackle - Your Boy Bry ... Me , WR's/Cb's/ Lb/Safeties/and line men= Ron ( mini Plex ) ,J-mart, J.J, J-fly, Mikey, Matty Ice and The Big Cat.  While Elmont came a little under staffed so Vinny Flex and Bones went over to fill up the gaps.  But that couldn't stop this touchdown machine . Dropping 5 yard dump screens for what seemed like 70 yard touchdowns.  Bombing out post patterns, fades and so many double moves that it would break your heart along with your ankles.

Final Score : Phantom Ballplayer Hooligans 10 Elmont Fire Department 3
        Stats :
 Bry- 9 Td passes 0 ints and 5 Qb rushes
 Jmart - 3 rec Tds  1 ints  6 Qb rushes , Stacked up in the back field giving me some time to sling that rock and juking and jiving like Elvis in his hay day.
 J.J - 2 rec. Tds , madd tackles , and one almost int
 Mikey - 1 rec. Td, 1 passing td , 1 int and one gift swat to the Elmont guys also he punted like my dude Steve Weatherford who is Swagger incarnate.
 Matty Ice-2 rec. td that  5 yards out 50 yards up ,  Swats on defense and late game O line .
J-Fly - 2 rec. tds (one from Mikey I think) and Swatting around like a a baller
The Big Cat - On one leg took on a fire Elmont Pass rush and held his ground. Then on the other side of the ball he had two clutch sacks late in the game even after Big Tito landed on his head.
Ron Mini Plex - 5 catches 0 tds , 1 pick and glove like pass coverage. Seriously if the Pats had Ron on their squad Manningham wouldn't have caught any of those clutch late passes.

   It was a great game and I can't wait to get back out there and play again. Also I am going to put this out there to readers in the New York/Long Island or anyone who has deep pockets. We will travel to you and give you a whoppin if you cover travel.... Hit me up at the email or at the Facebook page.

       Tuesday Who is going to #OCCUPYTHECANYONOFHEROS with me? I can't wait to go fucking crazy. I can't wait to hold in my pee because if I move I will never see my spot again but It's going to be a great time the City is going to rock and apparently the Rangers are doing extremely well this year, and Well I don't think the Mets could be anything special but If the Mets Win the World Series this year not only will I break down and cry with joy but I will do something  stupid I will leave that up to the viewers ( can't run around Naked because I am bashful) ... Wait were there other sports or tav shows on tonight ? I don't know I mean I only peed once today so changing the channel was not an option.




Saturday, February 4, 2012

Baseball and grading ? What will I think of next during Super Bowl weekend


 With it only being 24 more hours until the biggest game of the year... PuppyBowl or is it that Super Bowl thing that I hear so much about ... Ok maybe I should have written this one before that last post but what ever this post is not going to be about football a nice little break for the 2 people who still read  the Phantom and if  all of those other poorly worded post haven't driven you away then well nothing will. So instead of that over played coverage on the Super Bowl I think I am going to grade the off-season  move made in  minor league cricket or Major league Baseball . I might just do the MLB because  I am still mad that they traded Yorn VanderSoot from the Norway Ludafisk  to the  Denmark Lillypads of fire leaving a huge gap in the Ludafisk wicket strikers game and forget about holding up the Code of Conduct now VanderSoot was king at that and Yes I did wikipedia most of this but which part.  Now its time for a real sport.

Moves made in the
 AL East

   Red Sox - The first thing the Sox did was hire Booby Valentine who has been hanging out in Japan and Espn and then hired newly Ben Chrenington who  recently graduated from pre-school last month.  But since then the training wheels have come off. Picking up Marc Melanin from the Still playing baseball Astros, Andrew Bailey and Ryan Sweeney from the A's since Papelbon is growing up on the West side of Philly, they gave Cody Ross a one year deal to who might turn out to be the starting Right fielder if Darnell McDonald doesn't have a good spring,  and signed a bunch of guys who used to be good to non roster invites. The Red Sox are trying to play money ball like the Yankees did last year after they got burned. I don't see the Red Sox not making anymore moves between now and the end of spring training . So the Red Sox get a B+ right now. Nothing to splashy but they filled the holes they need to fill after last years collapse

     Orioles - After a hot start followed by well nothing have taken that nothing going on attitude into the off season by only signing two guys from Japan who's names I can't spell , also they gave collapse Chavez a chance to be the 4th outfielder and steal some bases  , and  I think thats it  oh wait they signed Armando Galaraga , Ronny Paulino , Wilson Betemit, and the big Sweat Denny Reyes . So look out world here comes the Baltimore Orioles because they make moves like their wallets are on fire. D-Sorry Buck

  Blue Jays -  I really wanted the Jays to lock up Prince Fielder to bulk up that line up but sadly no. Instead they bulked up that bullpen big time. Making a trade with the White Sox to get Sergio Santos to close out games, signing up Jason Farsor Darren Oliver and Francisco Cordero as the bridge to Santos and they got utility outfielder Ben Francisco who can hit around .270 off the bench.  All and all I say the Blue Jays did a pretty good job for a team that will end in 3rd place. C+ should have given Prince those looneys .

   Rays-Adding a little lefty pop to their other wise pop less line up. Resigning Carlos Pena to a one year deal and giving Luke Scott a chance to play in a Red State again should be huge for that guy, and for some reason they traded off their  starting catcher so they can give the oldest Molina a job and they gave Fernando Rodney money.  After last year you never know what the Rays are going to do so I guess they are at a B-. Pena can hit 35 home runs and still hit under .190  so who knows and if they are tied with the Red Sox or the Yankees at the end of the season you can bet that someone will give them a gift like last year. Yeah I said it

  Yankees - Fuck them. They resigned Freddy Garcia and Andrew Jones  signed up a whole bunch of arbitration eligible players and played dead while the Rangers, Red Sox and Marlins got fat and then what do they do in the span of 5 minutes . Oh make a trade for Felix Hernandez .2  and a solid as a rock 5th starter. Fuck them . They get a  B+ because they still have A.J. Burrentt on their roster and they have no real Dh until they sign Vald Guerrero or someone like that.

AL Central

   Royals - My boys brought back Bruce Chen , signed the Big John (Braxton) and swapped Melky Cabrera for Jonathan Sanchez. Sadly this wont be enough. Unless Hosmer ,Mustaches, Gordon and Frenchy can all hit 50 home runs each then they have a chance. I give them an A for effort but really they get a C-.

    Twins -  I guess Joe Mauer is totally worth all that money they could have spent on better players. But I guess Jason Marquis, Josh Willingham ,Jamey Carroll and Ryan Doubt will do fine as starters... Well everyone except Doubt is slotted to be a starter but I think the Twins Will move Morneau to Dh , Mauer to first and have Doubt to the heavy share  behind the plate.  Good job at picking up the scraps while there were still good players available . D-. Joe Mauer is over rated take that Great Lakes area fans.

  Indians - They Resigned Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner to  one year contracts so they are hoping that  they will preform like all other players with one year deals , getting Station Wagon race X. Derek Lowe from the Braves give the tribe a needed veteran presence in their Rotation.  I see the Indians making some noise this year . Matt Laporta should have a break out season and maybe they voters will give the human highlight reel they have over a short stop a gold glove because he should have gotten one last year. C - home grown talent all around.

  White Sox - Free from Ozzie's crazy ass the White Sox look to suck even less this year with rookie manager and personal Idol Robin Ventura taking over and it's going to be hard for them to not suck this year since they have been sellers all off season. First the sent Santos to the Blue jays and then they sent Carlos Quentin to  San Diego for prospects .  They have made zero effort to get into any real negations with players . F-sorry Robin but it looks like your first year will be terrible.

   Tigers - Fuck them too. Where did they come from , locking up Prince Fielder for 9 years at 214 million dollars and having Chubs Cabrera play 3rd?  They are going to hit so many home runs and have so many errors. They are just stacked up from top to bottom oh and not to mention they have the best pitcher in the AL right now. With Doug Fister ,fire thrower Max Scherzer and Rick Procello the Tigers are sure to make it to M.D's most hated list with in the first 2 weeks of the season. A+ just like a tiger all quite like and then they pounce on the Slow fat guy who can hit bombs.

AL West

  A's - I am guessing they saw MoneyBall during the World Series and got a tickle in their pants to do it again. That is the only acceptable reason I can see after they traded off All Star closer Andrew Bailey, and young stud pitchers Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonzalez . So now lets see who they have playing . They acquired Seth Smith from the Rockies to play left, Josh Reddick to play right, Brad Peacock form the Nats, Johnny Gomes, I am guessing Fautino  De Los Santos will be their closer  and Brandon Allen and Chris Carter will be their power hopefully. I give them an incomplete because they still could surprise with less wait who's their coaching staff (Bob Melvin, Chili Davis, Curt Young and Chip Hale) World series bound .

  Mariners -  They have 4 catchers, 3 Dh's,  1 good pitcher, 1 giant waste of money who they have to trade soon, and Ichiro . So do they win more or less then the Mets ? I am taking an over under here. They are going to find out real quick that Jesus Montero  is just a doubles hitter in that massive ball park.  If you think I don't feel bad about saying these things about the Mariners then you don't know me at all. I think the Mariners are a classy organization that has been on hard times since Brett Boone decided to suck. This will be year two post Griffey . P.G they spoke of this in the book of profits. They get  Z-for not even showing interest in winning this year.

  Rangers - The returning AL chumps for the last two years.  After they blew their wad on Yu Darvish they turned their attention on Josh Hamilton who had a drink.... Oh no not golden boy Josh Hamilton, but he reads the bible and sucks at playing in the day time.  The Rangers also are giving a second chance to Joe Nathan and putting Niftily Feliz in the starting rotation . Feliz could be the second coming of Pedro Martinez or he  could be headed back to the bullpen to close out games again . Now the Rangers are pitching heavy and Michael young strong.  Hopefully Yorvit Torreabla  doesn't punch an ump during the season. I give them a B-I might say they made dumb moves but the potential alone is something to stare and be amazed at. Plus now we can make a new drinking game " take a drink after every hypocritical thing that comes out of Josh Hamilton's mouth"

  Angels - Fuck them harder then the Yankees . Swiping up Pujols and Wilson before the Miami Marlins tried to then keeping Kendrys Morales to break his other leg or something and having the worst 3rd base situation for any contender I have ever seen. Give them an A because Mike Soccer is the man and give them an F because C.J. Wilson isn a huge bitch.

Moves made in the

 N.L East -

  Braves - They just traded away Derek Lowe and are going to rely on young guns again. How come when the Braves make no moves and go with guys no one has heard of they are still contenders but when the Mets do it its like 40 years of darkness? Must be them peaches or they have a good system in place there... Peaches . No grade for no moves.

   Nationals  - Dodged a huge bullet with no Tito Francona or Prince Fielder going to the Nations capital, but  Michael Morse showed he is a man child by hitting 31 home runs in his first season with more then 260 at bats, Oh Stephen Starsburg had Tommy John surgery but he healed up faster the any normal human so he should be 100% by opening day, With the additions of Gio Gonzalez, Brad Lidge and now Edwin Jackson the Nats have a solid rotation and bullpen, and if they bring up Harper to play left send Mores to 1st and trade off Laroche for low end prospects and sign up  Miguel Tejada to come off the bench with some pop and play the infield the National can continue making my nightmare come true. A-for these assholes !

  Marlins - New stadium, New uniforms, Heath Bell,Jose Reyes, Mark Burhele, Carlos Zambrano and Ozzie Gullies all wrapped up in a flower torte. Sound great and might give me the runny shits after the all star break. So many big egos down there with LoMo hitting twitter every 5 seconds, Hanely and Reyes might fight each other if they have a slow start, Ozzie and the Big Z becareful what you wish for and poor Josh Johnson no body knows if he can stay healthy. Oh crap do you realize that every time Espn or Mlb network show highlights on the Marlins it will be accompanied by Margie or salsa music. A because that was a sick off season  especially with in the first week and a half.

   Phillies  -  The made a big splash when they signed Jonathan Papelbon and the D-train Dontrelle Willis  to replace Lidge and Ryan Madison they also signed up Jim Thome ,Ty Wigginton , Juan Pierre, Joel Pinero , and other guys who need jobs. But with Thome Wigginton and Howard coming back in May the Phillies have the heaviest  1st base in the league. But with the new big 4 Roy, Cliff,Cole and Vance starting at least 30 games each  so thats great. C - they could have made a few more moves they have a hole in left field that needs to addressed. Who is it going to be John Mayberry Jr, Dominic Brown, or rando invitee .

   Mets - So many great moves made this off season. I am so pumped for this baseball season  Frank Francisco , Jon Rauch , Roman Ramirez, Andres Torres, Ronny Cedeno and Omar Quintanilla  way to bring in new blood on the cheap but thats not it we got some sturdy guys returning  like Scott Harrison , Valentino Passcucci ( Scucc !) Chris Schwinden ( if you ever wanted to know what a cabbage patch kid looks like when they hit 20 just look at Schwinden)  and the emergence of Ruben Tejada as a star shortstop. What is the worst grade you can give someone?  I mean a D is way too good and an F is still way to good , how about an S of Shitty?  Mets 2012  "Can you believe that we made it 50 years"

NL Central

   Astros - Just one more year, just one more year  ! Thats  is what their slogan this year. Ok it's not its something like "We are your Astros " which I don't know if the people of Huston had a choice. But yeah the AL bound Astros are just going to enjoy the one year without  facing Albert Podiums or Prince Fielder  multiple times this year.  Somehow Wandy Rodriguez is still on this team and another perplexing (What up college) fact about this team that still bugs me out is how is Brandon Lyon still a Major League closer ? He has only 3 season of 10+ saves. But They got some players like Jed Lowrie, Zach Duke, Travis Buck and Livan Hernandez  so they are making their way up to the top for one year before they switch sides. F - sorry bro's they suck.

  Cardinals - From the hottest team in baseball to the coldest offseason ever. How does one replace the best player in baseball ? Sign up Carlos Beltran to a 2 year deal and have zero in the bullpen now. The Cardinals were a wreck when the season started then I guess thats a thing in St. Louis. Besides Beltran they just resigned a bunch of players that played for them last season  and are hoping Big Puma can still stay hot since now he is the full time first basemen. D - they had to lock up Pujlos I mean the one guy you have to throw money at and no one would be upset .

   Pirates -  How do the Pirates recapture that fire they had last season ? Signing Clint Barmes, Eric Bedard , Casey McGehee, Rob Barajas and Nate McLouth  is not how you do it . But the Pirates are just waiting until the rest of their young prospects are ready to go. I  knew they lost their 20th consecutive season when they gave Eric Bedard money.  D - another long year for the Pirates.

  Brewers -  Hmm they lost Prince Fielder, they might lose Ryan Braun for 50 games , and Bernie the Brewers son Bobby the Brewer  was arrested for indecent exposure so its been a rough off season for the Brew Crew. But they did scoop up Aramis Ramirez , Cesar Izturis, Travis Ishikawa , and Brooks Conrad who is best known for having the worst luck known to man. I would say its about a C. They got power and they got defensive players to fill some of the void. But really we wont know how good they are going to be until after Braun  get his final call.

  Reds - They might be the most improved team over this off season. I mean they signed Willie Harris and Willie Harris is my boy. Thats not the only move they made this off season. They acquired Mat Latos from San Diego , Sean Marshall from the Cubs and Ryan Madson from free agency for cheap. So without Prince , Podiums and  Whats up with Braun the Reds might take this division  from day one. Votto, Bruce, Stubbs ,and Phillips can crush . I like that they added an ace type pitcher in Latos  and they bulked up their back end of their bullpen so I give them a B+.

  Cubs - the 2004 Boston Red Sox version 2. All they need now is a blow hard pitcher who has aspiration of running for mayor and they are ready to go . Making "baseball" moves the Cubs signed up  David Dejesus and Reed Johnson to stat up the teams on base percentage. They accquired Travis Wood from the Reds,  Chris Volstad from the Marlins, Ian Stewart from the Cubs, and Casey Coleman and Anthony Rizzo from the Padres. I don't know if the Cubs will be a contender this year but within the next 2 years the Cubs can be a real threat.  I give them a high B+ but a low A-.

NL West

   Rockies - Boy the Rockies got old fast, in a good way. Last year they were a pretty young team but with some discount  signings  like Casey Blake and Roman Hernandez to work out walks and sit with Todd Helton and Jason Iambi at  Country Kitchen Buffet early bird special , they also made a deal with the Red Sox where they sent a good pitching prospect and in return they got Marco Scutaro also they are got Tyler Colvin from the Cubs , and they signed Michael Cuddyer to play right field so that Cargo can play left.  I am going to give the Rockies  a healthy A, because these were really smart moves. Veteran  guys added to that roster with a bunch or young arms and the trio of Tulo, Cargo and Dexter Folwer-o.

   Padres - I have given the Padres a fair cut of shit cake over my time here and I know they are trying with the addition of Carlos Quentin, Houston Street , Edison Volquez and Yonder Alfonzo I looks like I will hold my tongue for a few months. Quentin has played in the West before so he has hit in Peptic . The other guys I guess will figure it out  while they play.  Low B- high C+ . Honestly the Padres are irrelevant .

   Dodgers - The Dodgers who are broker then the Mets have added  Mark Ellis, Jerry Hairston,Chris Capuano and Aaron Harang  all for $5 dollars each  because they spent everything they had on Matt Kemp. But even though I can make fun of the Dodgers all I want they play in a division that is as stable as my vocabulary when I am drinking.  So I give them a C because lets be honest Kemp, Either and Kershaw are going to be carrying this team all season.

  Giants - The only real moves  they made  were to get Melky Cabrera and Angel Pagan. They get a D-because only sheep care about winning.   I just don't see them being as good as everyone else does , am I missing something here?  Is Buster Posey that good, is Brian Wilson not just a joke ,  Will this be the year that people figure out Tim Lincecum .

  D-Backs - A+++++ they are just straight profits left and right . Trevor Cahill, Craig Breslow and Jason Kubel added to the mix. This team can be fire now.  Looks like Gibby can swipe up another NL west crown.

   So that is the report card a few days before spring training .  Enjoy the Super Bowl tomorrow and Happy Baseball season it's so close I can taste it.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Is it the Super Bowl on Sunday? With all this non bulletin blotter I wouldn't of known

   Besides the first week of people asking if Eli is an Elite quarterback and Tom Brady's return to  glory. It has been a historically quite Super Bowl and who is the victim here ?  Is it the millions of fans who have other things going on and really could careless about media day, was it the players who are more focused on the game and who at least 4 of them missing the Pro Bowl ... 4 guys missed a free trip to Hawaii , or should we feel bad for everyone covering the game. Bingo ! The poor reporters and news outlets covering this game. I honestly feel sorry for these guys.

      Wednesday was media day which is usually filled with stupid players saying stupid things written down by some guy in a super hero costume because his out there covering the game for some 5th rate blog in Indy ... We are New York based.  But there has been nothing from either side except for Antrel   Rolle saying the Giants were going to win, Gronk talking about his ankle,  Welker was talking about his mustache, Ochocinco is still on the Patriots apparently and Deion Sander loves the fact he only has 257 yards , and Osi lost 20% of his Super Bowl check  because he missed an interview thus making it the dumbest NFL fine since the Troy Palmful phone call. So instead of dealing with it what do the crafty reporters do. They build up Brady's claim that New England is a Super Bowl team, Rolle said the Giants are going to win, Belichick's girlfriend is way to hot for that bridge troll and  they hack Gisele Brady's  email to her friends and family and say that Tom has lost his championship edge. Come on guys lets be pro's here and this is coming from a guy who consistently writes like he is trying to try out for CB4 ( Yeah I know I like early 90's Chris Rock movies). Look you knew coming into this one that quotes were going to be few and far between especially after the last one.

     Tom Brady is going to play great on sunday  I mean he over came that Carnival he can over come an email  and so is Eli Manning they are the 2 best quarterbacks this season numbers be damned.   This will be a good game you have a great offense going up a hot defense and a great offense going up against Vance Wilfork and 10 other guys who say they play defense.   Julian Edelman is going t  o be out there to try and stop someone who is not the top 3 wide out for the Giants and The Giants will  suit up a porn star or Kate Upton to slow down Gronk  I mean thats a good game plan.  I want the Giants to win badly because I want to go to that parade. So for me to give some bullshit prediction will just be wasting my time and your time. I made it pretty clear who I am going to root for the past 5 weeks.  So really lets move on.

    Hey Peyton Manning is cleared to fuck with Jim Irsay. How bad do you think he feels right now ? I bet pretty bad , Pey Day is now looking for those bucks and a place to sling that rock around(told you) like Mike Tahoe. Hmmm My dude E-Jaxx (Edwin Jackson) just signed with Nationals so thats great news for Mets fans. Yup just fucking great news.  This show Doomsday providers or Extreme Hoarders shows how the mental health care system  is working out. I am pretty sure that all of those people were super crazy way before Obama was elected but I can understand why they'd blame him since you know  everyone blames him for everything.  Take that Politics and your way to smart for me attitude.


   So lets go Giants and after sunday its 100% baseball.