So I have been try to figure out how I am going to write a full post about how the Red Sox now have banned Beers in the club house and how Bobby V is starting shit with Derek Jeter and all I could come up with is " Red Sox ban beer in the club house followed by 40 years of darkness" and thats pretty much it . I don't see Bobby V being the answer for the Choke Sox (which until the end of the season that will be their name. Look If I have to hear about the Mets epic collapses from Yankees fans for years then these fucking guys are going to get some shit too.) How much do you want to bet that when the Red Sox axe Bobby V after a year and a half of being terrible they play those Budweiser commercials where they go " Prohibitions over !!!" and they party in the streets of Boston to LMAFO but since its Boston its probably going to be a concert with like Dropkick Murphys Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Jonathan Richman (yes the dude from Something about Mary ) just pure over pronounced joy when they axe that clown.
Don't get me wrong Bobby V had a great 2 year run in New York. Yeah thats right Mets fans he might of managed the Mets for 6 years but only two and half of them were good. The rest were shit thats why he was fired.
But I really am not in the mood to talk about baseball when there is major nerd this afoot. Today at what ever time a.M the new Avengers trailer came out and the world will never be the same. Sorry Batman sorry MIB3 sorry Spidey but May 4th is the be all and end all of the summer movie season. It's all about the Avengers midnight show. Now I don't know where I am going to see it quite yet but all I know is that I am going to get their at least 3 hours early dress up like the Hulk ( Wear purple shorts and paint my body green... Kinda like my St. Patty's day plans) and run around the parking lot shouting out "Hulk Smash!" "Hulk Smash " "Hulk's nipples are cold because of this freak being of May Snow storm is causing Hulk a to wonder what is happing to Hulk's downstairs " shit like that. How crazy was that trailer with the bang and the zoom and the kaboom just all the shit we have come to expect from a Marvel movie. I would love work for Marvel Studios during their press run on this movie for free passes to an NYC release. I mean listen Marvel I have seen almost all of your movies actually I saw every movie leading up to this epic showdown . Iron Man 1 saw in my home towns most dangerous movie theater at a Mid night release and stayed till the end , Incredible Hulk dragged M.D to a midnight show the theater where some one pulled the fire alarm but I sat through that until the non end credits , Iron Man 2 I think I dropped a douche when they showed Mijolnir, Thor all I can say is that I left one of my jobs early so and drove across a few miles at a high rate of speed to meet up with the other writer who doesn't write just in time to see the crappy trailers, and for Captain America I saved it in my Netflix queue when I saw it was coming out. So needless to say I am loyal to the Marvel brand. Look for Dark Knight Chris ,M.D, and I just rolled up with beers and got tickets 20 minutes before the show. But I goes all out for Marvel. So lets make a fucking deal Marvel . You can get Non stop free promotion time on Phantom ballplayer a blog that people call " Still going on ? " tweets on a twitter that is #1 with fake virus filled porn sites and all you have to do is give me like I don't know 4 tickets for something . Hit me up on one of my many emails ( Ones for the site and one for my alter ego ) See I am like a fucking super hero. With the Powers of poor english and rambling watch out of Unnecessary Man
Speaking of other ways I can sell out. Look I have made it painfully obvious that I would love to get some sponsors for this site because I know the score I watch 30 Rock. Just like in 30 Rock I will plug the shit out of Snapple bro. Holy shit Since I gave up bad sugars,candy,Red bull, or anything delicious for lent. So after chugging my thousand liter of water and just about forgetting what flavor tasted like M.D told me to try out Diet Snapple. My mind was blown and I am sold. Diet Lemon Snapple taste way better then regular Lemon Snapple and I don't get the Sugar headaches ( Yeah I realized once I wrote headaches I know I should have stop a while back). Plus back in the 70's You did your Business in My home town so Come on Bros from the Dirty stay clean and I just made that up but you know what I mean. Lets see I love Ihop but who doesn't mmmmm Pancakes. I would love to team up with AT&T so I wouldn't have to pay my cell phone bill but I have the longest running contract with them I think I am going to die and still owe 10 more years with them. Obviously Netflix, I mean I make mention to them at least once or twice a week. Does any Sports Surgery place want to get some free promo in exchange for a free surgery ? Ohh any travel site what someone to go around and go on free trips and blog so eloquently about it (just ignore the whole super hero moniker ) see look at that vocabulary.(Guess which words I spelt wrong on that last line). Yup I am a slut. Hell I will even plug bands don't care I just want to get shit for free. So hit me up on the old Email and since I will promote you I hope you will promote us. Quid pro Quo