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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Just in time to fuck up my St. Patrick's Weekend. Now I gotta deal with this shit


                       


     You want to hear a funny story? About 3 days ago I started writing a post about how the Yankees might actually be a team to be respected by everyone with the moves they made in the one day of the offseason and all that bullshit. But after today the day before St. Patricks day a day where I wanted to turn off my brain watch my college teams ( I did not do well on day 2 but I am still in the hunt). Frankly I wanted to write more about Greg Oden more about the Yankees but since they went off and decided to be huge tools I figure I will take a different direction.

  The Yankees and Yankee fans have to be the stupidest collection of people in the world. Some where Gretchen Carlson is breathing a sigh of relief ... she is a frequent reader. Yes, congratulation you pin striped dumb asses.

   The Yankees started spring training  with 6 pretty solid starters fighting for the starting 6 spots of the rotation also they have about oh I don't 200 other pitchers looking to make their way to a big league debut . So instead of being happy with what they have which is a Cy Young contender, two fire ballers, an under rated ace that is in the back end of the rotation, and 2 guys who are fighting for the #5  one is a control guy who is on a come back tour and the other is a young gun who is coming back from a "dead arm" but thats because the Yankees do not know the right way to handle young pitchers all of them looking to show Boston and Toronto that it's their division and all them fools have to respect it. But just like last year the Yankees do something that makes Yankees fans so happy that they don't even realize that the Yankees are pissing away money. Granted the Yankees have money to piss away so this signing mean so little to them that it just hurts fans of other teams.

   If you haven't heard because you are deaf or maybe you just don't care as much which is ok because frankly I was mad for about 2 hours and then I realized that why should I get mad because it's a win win. Andy Pettitte came back out of retirement to fuck up the Yankees season.  Why do I think this move will fuck up the Yankees because if Pettitte sucks in Spring training the Yankees are forced to cut him thus making the brainiac Yankee fans get so mad they start writing or calling sports outlets about how unfair it is because he is a legend, why can't he be on the team, or  if he is good and he makes the team the Yankees face a tough choice of getting rid of one of those 6 pitchers, well it would be between Hughes and Garcia . If the Yankees want something out of the deal they have to trade Hughes because he has way more value the Garcia because he is younger and cost a shit ton less. So the Yankees would mortgage the future once again so they can Satisfy  the core.

   Thought it appears that as long as your name is not Bernie Williams you will always be allowed to come back to play for the Yankees. Next Year Jorge Posada and Chuck Knoblach.


   I don't like players who retire and then change their mind. I didn't like it when Farve did it  and I wasn't smart enough to know any different when Jordan did it because he  had come out with  Space Jam to let us know he was back. Actually I would be more open to the idea of players coming back from retirement if they came out with a movie in the Space Jam franchise. Andy Pettitte gets sucked down in to Toon town to play a game against some invading force that stole the powers of players that Andy Petite is friendly with , like Randy Johnson , Lance Berkman, Jim Leyritz , and The Soup Nazi guy. He could star as Andy's agents brother in law who's dream it is to be an Ice Cream man but is being forced to be an agent , the Randy Johnson character could be getting mad at camera men and hitting birds while Lance Berkman comes to terms with being called Fat Elvis , Jim Leyritz  just keeps crashing into things and spouts off catch phrases like "Oppose did you say take I though you said hit and run". How good does that movie sound? Maybe we could get R. Kelly to sing a song about flying or peeing I don't know but the brain storming has begun.  I think  we could make a lot of money Looney Toons , we can get on that Muppet flow. But then again Space jam sequel would make a bagillion dollars. It's a lot funnier or awfulier if you know that Jim Leyritz was in I think 2 hit and run accidents with in a span of a few month.

   But you know what I bet the farm that this shit works out for those fucking guys.  You know what might happen maybe M.D will talk about how Andy's been his boy since the start and how happy he is that he's back and blah blah "27 time World Series Champion New York Yankees !" Baseball Zeus I am awesome and I can spell words that are magically worth 67 points even though I put down 2 fucking tile.... Look I managed to write a M.D post. Fuck the Yankees , Evil Empire Strikes again. LETS GO BLUE JAYS !

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