Hey whats up friends , how have you been ? I hope all has been well. Ahh fuck it I don't really care , I bet you didn't even noticed mother fuckers. Lets not fight with the Holiday coming up. Oh the glorious day where all are equal and we all are targets to get punched in the grill. Yes ,Men Women and children all can catch on right in the choppers and with a splash of green and a hint of mint because thats what we Irish smell like , waterfalls and spearmint and whatever point I was trying to make before... Fuck it get drunk and punch a baby.
So in the time I have been away some shit has gone down in the world of sports. Well, not so much shit that is like super crazy but like The NBA trade deadline , NFL free agency started and the NCAA tourney started and this year I have made up a bracket. So lets get into it because I can almost bet you I wont write again until at least tuesday.
NBA trade deadline-
Dwight Howard is going to do something that Shaq, Tracy McGrady, and Lil' Penny never could do. Stay in Orlando. Did that joke work ? I don't know what it is but I have been off all day , but whatever the best defensive player in the game has decieded to stay home for at least one more year. Orlando pretty much jizzed themselves when he said " Fuck it I got to much shit to move in a day. So I guess I'll stick around long enough to clear out my house, put it up on the market, and wait until the Heat clear some cap space so I can bolt down the road ." What ? You think he wants to be a Net? What are you stupid ? Why would this guy who wants to win a championship would go to a place with douchey hipsters with their Wilt Chamberlain sherseys that they bought "ironically" but it really costs like $250 because they got it at Urban Outfitters which will be behind the hoop in the Barclay center... For Shame Hov for shame? Howard will have so many teams drooling over him after next season. Speaking of next season, the Magic is going to break the bank so they can scoop up some talent to try to persuade Dwight to stay but I doubt it will work. The Big five Lebron, Wade, Bosh, Howard and the surprise of the 2013 trade deadline Rondo since Boston will set their own locker room on fire trying to get rid of the guy.... Side note : I love how Espn will just Kill Lebron for "The Decision" when it was totally their fault too. Look Lebron could have just tweeted " Hey tken my talents to MIA. Peace Love and Hand grease Cleve!" but no they went all out gave him an hour long special no other sports media market would have done that. Just create a monster and laugh at the people who are crushed by that monster.
The Lakers traded long time Laker and current pain in the owners ass Derrick Fischer to the Rockets for Jordan Hill and I guess some draft picks. Also they traded scrubs off the bench to Cleveland for draft picks. It's looking like the Lakers are trying to get younger which is good because they need a young point guard and I need a Metta World Peace jersey right now. KOBE hook me up bro.
Nene was traded and all I could say was . No Not Nene. Gerald Wallace was traded to the Nets so his careers looks like this : Bobcats(suck) Trial Blazers (suck) Nets (sucks) poor guy. He is a good player but has been buried on shitty teams that would almost let his true talent show . When he was a Bobcat he was the guy, when he was traded to Portland he faded out a little and now with the Nets he gets to play with a good point guard and two young big men who are surprisingly good but pretty much trade bait and walking away because Kim Kardashian ruined his life. Fuck it the Nets Suck.
NFL Free agents-
Peyton Manning is going around the U.S and giving blue balls to all the teams who host him. He should probably make his decision next week because most of those teams are going to blow up his phone because they were dumb ass and gave shitty players roster bonuses that kick in next week. Tenseness has basically given him the keys to the franchise and said "ride me Peyton until you die. Ride me hard" yeah like that.... What kind of link you think I was going to put there ? This is a family blog you fucking pervert.
Mario Williams went to Buffalo. So Buffalo just got a whole lot Baffler ? Everyone is saying that this move is a franchise changing move. The Bills showed some signs of life last year with that 5-1 start but ended like most seasons ... not in the playoffs. So will adding the often injured and played in warm climate Williams be that move to finally but the Bills ahead of the Jets? Yeah most definitely the Jets are heading downward fast. Players are jumping ship and burning the bridge as they leave town. The Jets have zero pass rush , a weak and getting older offensive line, a Quarter back that would rather fuck teenagers then try to be a true leader and Rex Ryan will be on the hot seat once they get their ass handed to them by the Pats, Bills and the possible Peyton Manned Dolphins.
Vincent Jackson surprising left San Diego for Tampa. Hold on I didn't mean surprising I meant smartly left Whales Vagina . They locked up Norv for another few years because under preforming for 68% of the season cuts it out in the AFC west. Actually it does , the AFC west is a huge embarrassment 3 teams finished 8-8 and Norv Turner still has a fucking job. I don't fucking get it I am smart, I can think out side of the box ,I know that early success against teams still finding their rhythm means more then late success when your pretty much out of the running and no NFL team will hire me, the fuck . V-Jax joins a young team that is spending that cash to improve where they fell short last season. New Coach, new players , new philosphy Tampa 12-4.
Reggie Wayne stays in Indy because he knows who is going to get all the passes next season. But his buddy Pierre Garçon is the first of many over paid free agents to sign with the Redskins.
Oh yeah Drew Brees is crying because the Saints put the Franchise tag on his bitch ass instead of them breaking the bank on signing him up. I love how everything is falling apart for the Saints in the wake of this bounty story. It makes me feel all tingly inside beautiful. Fuck the Saints , Fuck Drew Brees enjoy second place with your weak as shit defense and you over rated offense.
But my friend and teammate Bk got on my case about doing a bracket for this years tourney. I fought him for like a 4 days and when I saw him at work he showed me the bracket and told me that math is not involved and all I would have to do was pick winners. Which heads up thats where I make my money? I have successfully picked the winner in every pool /bracket/and bullshit conversation 9 times out of 10 as long as my nemesis math doesn't get involved I am gold . I was 3 of 4 with the play Ins , Fucking UConn screwed me but Louisville and Murray St came through for me , I am pissed I picked Syracuse to get to the Final 4 since they looked like shit out there against Asheville and HOLY SHIT I, AM COLLEGE SPORTS I FUCKING HATE YOU BK ! Fuck this I am going to bed I got to get my rest for the Big day coming up.