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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Why not us ? One Year Later and the Phantom is ready to take over the world one computer screen at a time... Seriously those are our stats. Get on our shit people !

                          

     How does one get to sponsor an event or start up something? I mean like what do I have to do to get some recognition over here? Look we write pretty good shit over here and I am getting well jealous that  this site which I do for free I get nothing cool in return except for lying to girls on the train ride into the city and say I am sports writer for a satellite division of SNY. Never works I guess no one cares about SNY anymore. But besides me striking out  I want to get this site some more views so that people who has shit to give me for free. Fuck man I just want free shit I think I have made that point clear and blogging is not as sexy as those guys over at Barstool make it out to be with that Blackout stuff.

  I know I need money and lets hypothetically say I win the lotto and get like 200 million dollars. Which after taxes should be around 180 something Million just enough to get by and still put on some crazy ass shit all in the name of the Phantom?

Where to start?
    1. Instead of Blackout party night ... regret breakfast mornings. We will go around following the Barstool blackout tour and We will set up in a parking lot across the street and make  Pancakes ,eggs, bacon, some O.J and have a shit ton of tylenol on hand for all the headaches. I know this seems like that the lamest idea every but it's fucking gold. Look we charge like $20 a head people come in eat "sober up" a bit because it's an 18+ dance party. We make enough to cover gas, food , Tylenol and we play extremely soft music ( like easy listen stuff Stevie Wonder , Sam Cooke, Jackie Wilson, and Marvin Gaye you know stuff you hear at the doctors office to put you at ease before you get manhandled by a doctor) so people can just sit and eat in silence... How many people going to these Blackout Parties now what Barstool is ?
     Really what is the difference between us and Barstool ? Besides an office , employees, billions page views, fans that make signs and get on t.v, hot chicks sending photos in everyday, getting free shit and having their shit swiped by media spots. But besides all that we are pretty much the same. I feel that if you put the Barstool staff up against the Phantom staff... they'd crush us because they get paid but if we had a site v. site football or softball game we'd  win because well most of those guys are ringers because like 3 people write for this site.  Who wants to see that a Barstool V. Phantom show down it would be like David V. Goliath  or when Lebron took on Durant in flag football inside of  a stadium. Mayhem and Page views thats whats its about ... This got way out of hand. I'll move on

  2.A sports/etc trivia night. Actually that seems like a really cool idea... that I am pretty sure I ripped off the idea some where but if a sports blog never had the ambition to try a trivia night whats the point of writing about sports just be a hipster douche and talk about skinny jeans and protesting your student loans( maybe if you got a degree in I don't know a real subject like accounting or learned a trade you would be useful to society instead of a joke)... I am serious fuck all that smart people bull shit about politics and that other shit that we should know but don't because sports are so much cooler. It will be pretty cool right? I mean we get some bar to host the thing we charge by the team like what $10 or $15. The people order drinks, food , drinks and drinks have a great time answering questions for a points total... do I really have to explain how a trivia night works to you right?  Each round will be like 10 questions each question will be worth a certain number of points  best teams move on until a winner is crowned. I guess they would get bar money or what ever I just made up the idea like 5 minutes ago give me a break. OOOOH maybe we can get hot girls to hand us the trivia cards.



3. Since we know a few bands from our home town we get big lo' show going. Granted I have no clue how this would even help us out since it would pretty much be the people we know going to this show but we can market in a way that people might want to see it. Plus the bands we know are really good a their craft. I am actually gonna give them some shout outs right now. they keep changing their name but right now they are called the Masters of Splash , The Pandemics , The Boogie Brains , Death Becomes Her and a bunch others who I can't really remember right now because I am getting tired. But check out these bands because they are pretty awesome if you don't you just a fucking nerd. Though it will be tough trying to get a place for all of these guys to play in and a day that they are all free to play because I know  The Masters of Splash are burning down the Studio right now, The Pandemics are going on tour soon, M.D should know what The Boogie Brains are doing and , and DBH have their stuff on Itunes and Its at best buy so buy it now! And check them out on Youtube they are all over the place... Yeah I know I put a picture of Taylor Swift here. I wish I knew her because if this actually happened this is how we would rake. Plus I would know Taylor Swift and with my wit and good looks she would be helpless against my  charms.

4.  This will be the final Idea because I am tired and I just finished watching the re play of South Park. I guess we could start like a weekly video thing  hitting on some quick sports, movie, music and blah blah blah .  Since we have a hypothetical ass load of cash I could finally put together that show I mentioned about last year. The one where I go around to tail gates and talk to the people about how fun it is to get blasted in the day time during the summer.

  I feel that there is only one of these ideas that will be close to being a real thing. But I highly doubt it will happen unless we unexpectedly get super crazy popular. Which can happen because I have faith?   Fuck it I have to pee and I gotta wake up early to do some family things.

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