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Thursday, April 26, 2012

This just in... Nothing just saying Hello

  Sorry again I have been working like a Muggafugga over here so I haven't had time to write so I apologize to you and to my spell check because MuggaFugga isn't a word... shocking. But I want to talk to you today about.... Ummm.... ummm ... I guess Albert Pujols  and his struggles.

   Relax he is going to hit 30 home runs this year like how he did last year and the year before so shut the fuck up about how Albert is slumping. Well, that was quick good night... Oh yeah I guess its bad business  to leave after tell you to shut the fuck up. All right lets get  more into it because fuck it you've made the choice to come to this site through google images might as well get your money's worth while you look for Alison Brie photos.

    Look people A-bert is going to be just fine so clam your shit down it's just april. If I have to hear that I shouldn't get excited about the Mets better then expected start is because its April then you have to stop your asshole mouth from talking. A-bert knows what he is doing and if not he has 9 more years to fix it. But Senior October will bounce back trust me, he'll be hitting home runs and everybody who said other wise will be all like " I totally believe in A-bert" thats Tim Krykjurnenen that fuck face. Now for a different sentence.

  I hope to God that someone who is looking for an image about A-bert sees that I am calling him A-bert and it catches on and he is forever known as A-bert. That would bring me great joy. Like I could go off have a great life be well off have a great wife and family , with a sweet house with a killer backyard where I can grill have a pool and a wifflel ball field , great in laws who are really cool and don't give me shit because their grand kids are 99.9% likely to be bald and look like the Captain in Pigs in Space,  and just have the American Dream locked the fuck down but it would mean nothing if A-bert became a saying. I would have that on my grave stadium because thats how I do, it would have to say  "here rests the man you started the nickname  A-bert and did some other shit. The world thanks you for your genius. " Thats all I want. A grave Stadium and world recognition on a shitty nick name that is so awesome that it changes the world. Is that so hard?

     What else is going on? How mad do you think Brian Cashman  is right now? This whole Montero /Pineade  trade is coming up Mariners right now and until Montero  knocks in 2 more homer runs he has exceeded his totals from last year. I bet the 5 minutes after Cash made that trade he was like " What a maroon. I just took the next Felix Hernandez and all I had to give them was a 21 year old dh and Hector Nosei . Clown shoes over there  think they pulled a fast one on me. Clown shoes ! High five me Hank and Hal ( High five sounds) ." Finally the Mariners pulled on over on someone else. After two years of getting the fucking screws put to them all thanks to Cliff Lee. If you don't know the Mariners were apart of a  trade bonanza two seasons which sent Cliff out west brought Roy to America and started this downward spiral for the M's. See the M's sent a bunch of great prospects to the Phils  and  besides the lefty who went back to Philly after a year  the few prospects they got back don't look to be in the majors any time soon and there was a story last year that one of the prospects was arrested for forced sodomy. So seeing the M's finally fucking someone else over is pretty cool... unlike forced sodomy which is not cool. That's the M's GM over there... A brother

    I don't know whats happening with me lately. I mean the terrible writing is normal but songs have been sticking in my head for a lot longer then normal. Like I don't know if any of you watch South Park but a few weeks ago they ended a show with this really catchy song called " Jackin' it in San Diego " and I was singing it through out the week following and at softball practice while hitting pop ups to M.D and the Boys. But the worst is "Red Solo Cups" by Toby Keith . This song just brings out the worst in me. I heard it at work one day and I thought it was like an old song because I only heard the chorus and I was like " yeah this is pretty catchy maybe I'll find it and give it a good listen." I went on youtube that night and I have been fucking singing it non stop. Even right now I am humming it right now. I am trying to trick my mind I have Louis C.K's Hilarious on netflix and MLB network on my t.v. #Whitepeopleproblems  bro. Ugh I don't what I am gonna do , probably just deal with it I mean there are worse things in the world then having a Toby Keith song stuck in your head, you could have one of those fucking lame ass screamo  songs that suck so much. By the way I tried so hard not to say gay ass through out that last sentence... honestly it took me 5 minutes to agree with lame ass. I think I should be commended on it because that's not funny to say that ...even though it totally is and stop lying to your self .... A-Bert , I am going to trend it on the tweeter.


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