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Thursday, May 31, 2012

I always find something funny to say on these titles

   And you thought you were safe from poorly written misinformed sports blogs on the internet... Well, suck it dummy you're fucking wrong. I am back after a month of vacation, or what normal people call work but I call it a vacation because in both my jobs I get to do the thing I love the most... answer stupid people's questions and look at them like they are an alien from another planet. But its good to be back from the summer. To be honest I could have come back anytime it's not like I work around the clock I am home by 11 pretty much every night when beer is not involved, but since I am broke I just sleep and watch Mets games.

   I guess the Mets are doing better then expected. They had their second winning month this season and there is very little to complain about, unless you're a Mets fan because you'll find something so minuscule that you think the worlds ending. Sorry for that I just am tired of my fellow Mets fans  jumping off the bridge before the end of the season. The Mets are what like a game and a half out of  first place coming into June and have seen some great play from David Wright, Johan Santana, R.A Dickey, Jon Niese , Lucas Duda , Kirk Newinhiese(or whatever) and everyone on the  bench. I mean the only real problem I see is Ike Davis. What happened to Little Springsteen ? He was crushing it last year before David ran him over. He is batting in the .170s and just looks lost up there. He has had some recent success I guess you can call it but he needs to change his swing. I know, I know who am I to say his swing need to be fixed but all I can think whenever I see this guy swing the bat is " He'd kill it in slow pitch softball" . He drops his hands and is so late on every pitch not to mention that dumb ass stride that makes him look like he is swatting away his creepy uncle. Can Keith Hernandez or John Olerude   talk to Ike because I stand by what I said last year. If the Mets want to go further then 3rd place in the next 3 years he has to be the clean up hitter. But Lets look at the positives David Wright carrying this team on his healed up back, after R.A told the World ( New York area) he was diddled as a child by his moms girl friend he has  been diddling batters with his Knuckle ball... that joke really didn't work I just wanted to use that South Park link, and Johan Santana is an Ace no question about it.As I say this Ike will hit .400 over the next month and Wright Johan and R.A  all get hurt because that's how it goes.  Oh yeah they finally got rid of that Snoop Dogg  impersonator Manny Acosta and just like Snoop I have every little respect for Manny Acosta.... I still miss Paul Lo duca

    What else is going on? Yankees fans are acting like Mets fans, Albert Pujols  is hitting home runs again( Fucking told yawl stupid fuckers) , Heath Bell has the craziest team photo of all time Shelly serial killer face Duncan has nothing on him and The Cubs and the Padres are just sad right now.  As much joy as it brings me to say that the Yankees have come out of the gate stumbling and this whole " the last time we started out shitty we won 114 games" bullshit has been thrown out real quick , you still can't count the Yankees out of anything they are in third place right behind the O's and Rays which it's nice and all to see the O's doing their  thing but come on , they have zero pitching. If Kevin Gregg is on the team by september they are not making the playoffs. But the Yankees are old and apparently no one knew this except for me because I am super handsome. Arod  is not the same player anymore and Ivan Nova totally fucked him self with that bold as shit " I am the best pitcher in the world " comment. Even with C.C on the team he is like the 10th best pitcher  on his team. But hope should not be lost on the Yankees because Hal wants to start playing money ball and that worked out well for the World Series Champions Oakland A's in 2002.Actually only the San Francisco Hipsters are the only team to win by using the Money Ball system and they just gave Matt Cain a shit load of cash.
  I never thought a team in second place could be called the team to beat. The Miami Marlins have shed the laughable loser tag and just have become laughable. Those uni's are out of control black white orange green and a billion other fucking colors. The Marlins have finally have come around. It is kinda hard not to surge up the standings when Mike or Giancarlo Stanton is crushing everything that comes into his wheel house... Baseball and bitches home boy smashes them like the Hulk. Also crazy face Heath Bell remembered that he was good at being a closer so he kinda does his job.
   Oh looky  here look at all of these fucking experts jumping back on the A-bert bandwagon. After a month of everyone saying A-bert was done he comes firing back. Well, you clowns are  jokers and have to bow to me because I was always on Abert's  side since day 3. Fuck you John Hyman and Ken Doucheenthal ... Yeah this isn't working out as well as I hoped. I can't pull off egotistical dick from the cut since I am an egotistical douche from the  burbs.  I am just happy that Abert  is back and hopefully unseat the Rangers as best in the West. I know that one of Aberts favorite hobbies is to ruin Josh Hamilton's year... REPEAT !
   I guess Theo isn't saving much out in Wrigleyville. I never really cared for Theo's swashbuckling ways up in Boston since he really only brought up guys like Lester, Youk and the Laser show. He was lucky enough to have owners that act like spoiled children ( when the Yankees get a big free agent they get two big free agents) so his ego from the 2 Championships that were won by guys like Beckett, Lowell, Manny, Schilling, and Drew and they played a team in 2007 that was really not ready , hence the sweep. So the fact he is trying to trade off all of the cubs big talent to get younger players is really interesting since all of his players he drafted in Boston have been pretty disappointing to say the least.  All I can say about the Padres is this... nice try but you have been Theo'd.

   Yeah that's enough for now I should be back more often I have some time off ahead of me and the Sun is out. Softball starts up in a week or so , so that should be interesting to say the least. How many different obscenities I can make up as the season goes along and shit like that. Later Phuck  Phaces

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