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Sunday, January 27, 2013

Day two another top 10 = 20 different ways to say the same thing over again




                             

   Back again for day two. What back to back this shit is just about to blow up for. Christ I can't keep it up. I love writing about baseball because it gives me a chance to show the game that I find to be the best out of them all but I gotta tell you my brain can only process so much.  I can't even write in proper englerish  most of the time but I am going to truck through it just for all of you who "read".

   So last night I sat down and listed off in my opinion who is the top 10 catchers in the game today and tonight I got to  one of the more difficult positions to rank. First basemen, how do you judge this position fairly. How much do you count defense or offensive production ? Some first basemen are really good defensively but are a black hole  when it come to their turn at the plate. then the other way around. Some can crush and be the offensive juggernaut that puts a team on the map but are just as good as little leaguers when they are on defense. But with the new mold of players that are equal on every side of their game.  Lets get into it because I am having trouble painting a word picture and I am kinda done with it.


Top 10 First basemen

10.  Anthony Rizzo  - Cubs- I have faith that this guy is the truth. the Cubs have been looking for a legit first basemen since they let Derek Lee go. Which I am surprised a guy like Lee hasn't found a job somewhere. Rizzo  is a big kid and when the Red Sox shipped him off to San Diego for Adrian Gonzalez then when Theo was traded to the Cubs he thought it would be the best fit for the Cubs to lock up Rizzo  instead of going after Pujols. But in Rizzo's  in 87 games with the Cubs Rio hit .285 with 15 home runs 48 rbis. What's interesting is that in total Rizzo  had 96 hits 15 of them were home runs and 15 were doubles so 30 of his 96 hits were extra base hits. That's pretty impressive if you thing about it. So this year should be his first full year as a pro with the faith of the whole club behind him in the friendly confines. Should be a good year for the kid

9. Chris Davis- Orioles- The Texas castoff make his mark last year for the birds cranking 33 home runs   in his second season with 100+ games. He can play the corners in the infield and outfield but is  the starting first basemen for the upstart O's.  Davis is known for his peaks and valleys but I think since he is  looked to be a key cog in the offense might be the kick in the ass Davis needed. When he was on the Rangers he was buried under the names like Kinsler , Hamilton, Young, and Cruz he was in the bottom of the order and as a young crusher it could of taken the wind from his wings. Yes I used that phrase. But I think now that since he is in the heart of the O's order he is living up to his potential. Hardy Jones Davis and Wieters  is a very good line up that is getting better if they can stay healthy.

8. Adrian Gonzalez-Dodgers- Just wait two seconds while I tell you why I am not high on A-Gon . The guy went to possibly the smallest ball park in the world for a year and a half and only hit 42 combined home runs. He hit 40 one year for the Padres where he played 81 games in a park so big it is 2 feet away from having  to be considered a national park. There's a 5 story building in left field and hit hit the roof at least 8 times  a month. Ok maybe I'm wrong but  going to Boston you'd think he'd crush it all day everyday. But I don't think he really wanted to go to a team  in the midst of a messy divorce with Terry Francona  and adding the ever forgettable Bobby Valentine and that whole shit show that was the 2012 Boston Red Sox. A- Gone was shipped to the Dodgers in a power play. But he only hit 3 home runs in 145 plate appearances. Maybe this year with some stability and he might be one of those out of the spotlight type players that he might succeed being the #5 biggest name on that team.

7.  Ike Davis - Mets - Why because fuck you that's why. Look I think Ike Davis is about to blow up if he can avoid the injury bug or the flu or whatever he had in spring training last. Ike started last season with as much consistency as my farts at work. You never knew what you were going to get but you know it was going to smell like shit.  But Ike was never satisfied with how he was play so he kept changing his stance and how he swung until he started to mash. He played in 156 games hit 32 home runs with 90 rbis. Look I am not saying Ike is the best first basemen in the game but he has the tools if he can get his shit together   he could be consider one of the best. He's a stud with the glove and he's getting there with the bat. Just keep swimming

6. Paul Konerko- White Sox- Paul Consistency I guess he is called, because this dude is a no doubt 25+ home runs 80+ rbis and a high .270 batting average. Is he a hall of famer , maybe is he a house hold name outside of Chicago , No , is he tremendously underrated and should of been paid way more , FUCK YEAH. This guy is the only 400 home run hitter who has made less then 60 million. If guys like Mark Teixeira and Hamilton can be locked up for over 20 million a year is just a crime. There are younger players with more flash out there and a bigger upside but they are huge question marks. You don't know their slide but Konerko stays healthy crushes and plays a gold glove caliber first base every year. He is on a walk year and people thing he is going to call it quits but I think he should sign for a short term big money contract some where. they gave Josh Hamilton 4 years for 25 million and he gets hurt every year.

5. Freddie Freeman- Braves- This kid is taking over the show in Atlanta. He was brought up 2 years ago with Jayson Heyward and Craig Kimberly for a youth infusion on the stalwart Braves. Freeman launched a career high 23 home runs with 94 rbis. In a division with guys like Davis, Howard, LaRoche  and Morrison it is easy to say Freeman is the more polished and healthier anchor. With the Upton's  in the fold he could be on the more dangerous line ups in the game. And he looks like Beast from that shitty new Xmen movie. Though not in that picture .


4. Mark Teixeira - Yankees - Has been hitting 30+ home runs  for the past 9 years for the Rangers and Yankees. but what makes Mark so good is that he is the best defensive first basemen in the game. Since he signed with the Yankees in 09 he has saved the careers of A-rod and Jeter with his no nonsense style of play and has made Robinson Cano look like a young Roberto Alamos. Sure he has his draw backs like he can't hit before May and after September. But he is the mold that the new wave of first basemen are trying to be. Well one of the molds.

3. Prince Fielder- Tigers- The MVP maker. You put the big man behind any power hitting righty who has yet to reach their potential as a star and with in the next couple of year boom MVP. Though Miggy is the first to do it filled with empinadas instead of steroids but still MVP. Yeah I know Prince is shitty on defense but he's my guy. Is he going to win a gold glove any time soon, probably not  but is he going to give his team 100% of everything he's got and hit a few moon shots ? You beat your ass he will.


2. Joey Votto- Reds - He is Canadian and he hits all over the  place and plays a solid defense. That's really it I mean he makes no noise for an MVP that beat out Abert for MVP when Abert hit 42 home runs. So this is probably the most he would allow to be written about him since you know Canadians don't like to brag.  

1. Albert Pujols- Angels - Remember the first month of last season when ESPN was losing their shit because it took Abert a few at bats to hit his first home run? Yeah that was total shit. I told you that he was going to blast off. As I am writing this part I am listening to Pandora and that song from requiem for a dream came on . It is extremely fitting for a guy who has only 1 season under 100 + rbis. Actually he had 99 on the year when the Cards won the world series so I think it's ok . The Machine is just that he is a machine when it comes to  baseball.  2x Champion, 8x All star, 3x MVP, 2x gold glover, 6x Silver slugger and heart of gold. Abert is the best in baseball and the day he calls it a career  the BBWA can't wait 5 years to get him into the Hall. Or maybe they'll elect no one so that they get more air time.


    I would have put a picture of me as the best first basemen in the game but A. I don't take a lot of pictures due to me being too handsome and B. I am translucent in picture form I am super pale.  But join me again probably tomorrow when it's second basemen. I swear no Mets.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

I think you all forgot that I am the king of the Top 10's. So yeah get at me bro


                                   


  Since the Super Bowl is right around the corner you know what that means to me ? Nothing at all, this year.  Look I love watching the big game but do I really care about any of the story lines this year ? Two Brothers , Ray Lewis, Colin Kaepernick, and I don't know some random player probably had someone close them die or get hurt that some reporters will beat it into the ground. I hate to be that guy but seriously the next two weeks are almost unbearable that I am just counting down the minutes until the end of the Super Bowl. How many times last year did we hear that Eli Manning is Peyton Manning's little brother and he had an interview in august where he said he was an elite quaterback.  It has made me check out of football completely , also the Giants aren't in it and that adds to it.

   So when I got home from work safely after fish tailing it in the snow for a few blocks, ate some dinner and then finally got to turn on the MLB network to see what they had going. Apparently before the start of the joy enducing spring training they are putting on the "Top 10" in different position in the past few years. Excuse me MLB network top 10's are my thing. Stick to you're Prime 9's and top 50's the 10 is a corner stone of the Phantom.... and a million other sites. And while I might be full of shit 90% of the time I still think I should be in the top 10 of top 10's. So  I am going to try contribute to their endovior and  give a few top 10's of the best players at their positions so today I will do my top 10 Catchers and tomorrow I will try to get a list of first basemen. 

So like all good top tens you start at 10 and work your way up. Because thats how you make the readers stick a round. I can do it to without all that hair gel and  nice suits. Though I am not opposed to getting a free suit. 

Catcher - Honorable mention - Josh Thole for being the first Cross eyed catcher in the Bigs and Dotty Henson for being the worst example of team work in pro sports. What she was a stud catcher hands down MVP then she got her sister traded, made Jimmy Dugan give up the Sauce,  acted like a total douche when her husband got back from fighting Aliens she left her team on a playoff push and then came back on the last day to prove she was the best. In my book she's a douche.


10  Jarrod  Saltalamacchia - Red Sox - My screen is beaming red lines right now. But the man who married his high school gym teacher and they call Salty  finally got the reigns to be the #1 guy in Boston behind the plate. And if that sentence is any indication on how difficult it was for me to figure out where he goes on this list you'll understand why he is this low. He defense is eeeh  and his hitting is just as tough to judge as well. He hit .222 which is horrible for a major league starter but he hit 25 bombs on a team that looked like they just gave up 2 weeks into the season. So you take the good you take the bad blah blah.  

9. A. J. Elis  -Dodgers -  It was his first full year in the bigs last year and is now in charge of catching probably the most expensive pitching staff in the entire MLB. Hitting 13 home runs with a .270 batting average  probably batting closer to the bottom of the order is a nice little extra out there when you have guys like Kemp, Gonzales, Either , Hanley and Crawford who makes a ton of money in his 2 down years but a change of scenery was needed for Carl. His defense might not be stellar but he's getting there. Cali does strange things to people

8. J.P. Arencibia- Blue Jays - The Blue Jay's Catcher for the future and now that is a fact since the Jay's traded Travis D'Anradu to the Mets. I should probably learn how to spell that name soon shouldn't I? J.P broke out in the bigs in 09 with a two homer game then was sent down. the Next year  he got to play in 129 games and hit 23 home runs with a .219 batting average. Which like I said before for an American league team should no be tolerated and the franchise that got Joey Bats to crush the ball and hit over .270 I feel they dropped the ball with J.P in his first full year but in '12 he hit .233 which is like saying well  I am on a diet but I love eating cupcakes every weekend? You might be trying to get better but you have terrible habits that kill what ever work you did .  He is a solid defensive catcher only committing 4 errors last year which should double or triple every 5th day this year but he has a plus side that can be dangerous. Is it just me or does he look like Jim Halpert  from the office? 


7. Alex Avila-Tigers-  Single handedly the most underrated catcher in the game. Solely based on how he handles the pitching staff.  He has flame throwers all around and has been on the verge of a championship for 2 years. He was a bit banged up this year so the numbers aren't as high as Salty's or  Mauer's  but lets look at the pitching staff's  top 3 guys since he took over catching duties  Verlander 59-22 , Scherzer 42-27 and Jose Valverde 110-118 save chances granted Avila didn't catch every game but I don't want to do that much work. 

6.  Brian McCann-Braves- Big Country can rake with the best of them and now that Chipper is out of Hotlanta he is really the longest tenured Brave. The Braves made some moves this offseason to ease the pressure off McCann with adding The Upton's will defiantly change the dynamic of this team. He should bat in the 5th spot this year . In an injury plagued season , I should know he was on both my sub 7th place fantasy teams McCann still managed to hit 20 home runs with a .230 batting average. McCann normally hits around .260 with 20+ home runs and can hit both righties and lefties pretty well . For a big guy McCann is pretty quick behind the dish with less then 10 errors the last two years . With an influx of young arms and Tim Hudson's nasty sinker keeping the ball in front of him is a reason why the Braves pitching staff ranks among the leagues best. I should rank him higher because we look alike.

5. Matt Wieters - Orioles - He is getting better and better with a good team around him and a manager who is a genius means big things for  the switch hitting giant. Dude is 6'5 he's a giant behind the plate.  Now he hit .249 with 23 home runs last year but he brought in 83 rbis and was walked 60 times which help a surprising team to take the wild card. Wieter came into the bigs with a ton of pressure on his back since people in Baltimore said he was the next Cal Ripken Jr or the Switch hitting Joe Mauer . I don't like comparisons for players because everyone plays the game differently. Hopefully they can keep players healthy so that Wieters can see better pitches might increase his numbers.

4. Carlos Ruiz - Phillies- Mother Fucking COOOOOOOCH . I hate the Phillies but I love this guy. His story is awesome and he is a grinder which motivates his team and yeah he was dinged for performance enhancing drugs but that's because he has A.D.D and took ritalen . But Cooch is aces behind the plate. Look I am biased to the National league game and this dude plays it so well. He  hits above .280 in the past 3 years, his rbis are increasing on a team that sold off some of its talent last season and he has guys like Roy Halladay  and Cliff Lee thankful that  he is so good because they'd have to throw to Brian Schinder because the Phillies  don't believe in good back up catchers. Last year Coooch  hit .325 with 16 home runs and 68 rbis. Which is a 38 point increase in batting average, 10 more home runs and 28 more rbis in a year where the Phillies  look as good as the Mets did in the end of the season for the start of the season... Did that make sense? No well they sucked  up until the All Star break then made a push that fell short because of the Cardinals being the Cardinals and when you say the word Wild Card game to the Cards they get all itchy and get fired up.


3. Joe Mauer - Twins -  I never really liked Joe Mauer . I always felt he was way overrated.  This is his 9th year in the league and he is 6 home runs away from 100 in his career and he has never had a season with over 100 rbis, actually he has only had one season with 90+ rbis. For a guy who hits in the 3 hole on an American league team is hard to even consider him top of the charts. Though he is a plus on the defensive side of the ball and is a true leader of the Twins but there are better guys who do more then him. He is also getting older faster and it's just a matter of time before he takes over at 1st base. Which should have happened last year to keep his legs with him? Have Doubt catch, Mauer  at first and Morneau  dh to keep their big money guys in lower impact area.


2. Yadier  Molina - Speaking of the Cardinals  Eider was a huge factor in the P.P or A.An or N.M.B era of  St. Louis Baseball. What you don't know what those abbreviations mean? Well P.P = Post Pujols  ,  A.A=  After Albert , N.M.AB= No more ABert. Come on guys act like you google searched  this shit before. Yadier has been increasing the offensive side of his game every year so when he went off for 22 home runs 76 rbis and a .315 batting average for career highs across the board . If you know about Eider you should know that he is a preeminent gold glover every year so I don't need to go into detail about it. The Last thing I am going to say about Yaider is that he can go FUCK HIMSELF in his stupid FUCKING Face. 2006 still hurts you bastard, I wont forget that 3 run blast he hit against Aaron Hillman the real goat of that playoff game. But Fuck you.  



1. Buster Poesy - Giants-What do I have to say about a guy who has won 2 World Series, Rookie of the Year and MVP all in his first 3 years. If it wasn't for Scott Cousins breaking his leg, he could of been a 2x MVP he was hitting .284 in the first 45 games so you never know.  I mean the only real gripe I can have against Poesy is that he can't grow a beard which I guess doesn't mean that much to him because he just keeps getting better and better.  He is a true talent and in 3 years you can easily say that in 8 more years without major injury he is a hall of famer .



So that is it my first of 10 top ten's . That sounds lame but I am in a baseball mood and it's not going away anytime soon and as long as these websites keep leaving very positive comments on the worst posts on this site I am going to keep it up. But to be honest these guy's all right I mean they are not the best catcher I've seen play the game . frankly  I think this guy is the best catcher . M.D Flanagan raking up a .400 average this year  thats what you call a boss... in softball.

                               

Monday, January 14, 2013

Peyton Manning Vs Tim Tebow aka the dumbest storyline through out the entire playoffs.

                                     

   So as most of you saw , saturday  the Broncos lost in double overtime in the AFC Divisional playoff game against the hottest team right now the Baltimore Ravens in double over time . That's 6 quarters of football and they only lost by a field goal. But if you read the paper on sunday morning you would think the Broncos went undefeated last season. Well, I would like to put some gas on this fire in an open letter to Tebowmania .



   Dear  Tebow maniacs   :

    I didn't really watch the game yesterday. Sorry I was a bit under the weather but I did happen to catch some of the highlights.  So first things first I understand how and why you are going out in public and saying things like " Well at least Tebow  won a playoff game," or  "Tim didn't throw an int in overtime," and other things to that effect  because I know the truth your Broncos fans who wrote a check of  Tebow  fandom and there is no way you can back out of it now. It's heartbreaking to lose in the playoffs, trust me I know. Jets fans still stalk about the AFC championship game 3 years ago, so I get it . But lashing out at probably the NFL MVP is one of the dumbest things I can think of. Yes, he threw  2 picks in against one of the best defensive teams in the past 13 years or so. But if you really want  to compare Tim Tebow  to Peyton Manning on a playoff game lets do it.

 The Broncos last year went 8-8 including 4 crunch time come back wins and backing into the playoffs because of wins against the Raiders and Chargers earlier in the season to have the time breaks to clinch the AFC west which is by far the weakest division in football. They played the PIttsburgh Steelers in the Wild Card round where they won in overtime on a Demaryius  Thomas td pass from the Bow winning 29-23. Then they played the New England Patriots in the Divisional round  the next week in which they lost 45-10. Tebow on the season was 126 for 271for 1729 yards with 12 td's 6 ints, 122 rushing attempts for 660 yards 6 td's and was sacked 33 times for 225 in lost yards  with 13 fumbles with 6 lost in 14 games

 The  Broncos this year  went 13-3 and were the #1 seed in the Afc getting home field advantage and a first round bye. He did start off slow losing games to the Texans, Flacons.And the Patriots all before their week 7 bye and they didn't lose until the playoff game against the Ravens. That's 10 wins in a row . Peyton on the season was 400 for 583 4359 yards 37 td's with 11 ints , 23 rushing attempts for  6 yards sacked 21 times for 137  in lost yards and fumbled 2 times .


  Ummm. So the only real argument I can see is that Manning played 2 more games then Tebow. But other then that I guess there is no question Tim Tebow is way better then Peyton Manning. You see to be the best quarterback for a team is not to win the most games in a year , no stupid it's to rely heavily on a well coached and talented defense to keep you close so your first round draft pick can scramble around lose 100 more yards then any other average quarterback. Especially a 12 time Pro bowl, 6 time offensive player of the year, Super Bowl Champion,Super Bowl MVP , and 4 time NFL MVP. Are you kidding me awards are for losers just ask Aaron Rodgers. It's obvious Tebow is streets ahead of Peyton Manning.  Because you're not an elite quarter back until you lose 40-14 to the Buffalo Bills throwing 3 picks to their vaunted defense.

   All right enough is enough.  If anyone out there thinks the Broncos had a chance of getting anywhere close to what they did this year with Tebow behind center is out of their mind and spitting nonsense out of their dumb mouth. Tebow is a great athlete I give you that ,hands down kid can play ball but he is not anywhere close or will he be to the player that Peyton Manning is. The only way you can compare the two in playoffs games for the Broncos you would have to only count the Divisional game. So  you take Tebow's 9 for 26  136 yard 0 td's performance to Peyton's 28 for 43 for 290 with 3 td's. They both lost but one lost by 3 after  5 quarters of football to one getting blown out .

   If you're a Broncos fan what's wrong with you? How can you be that mad that you wish you still had a guy who couldn't put together one good practice to take over the Jets? I'm pretty sure they called in the winner of last year's Punt Pass and kick to take some first team reps. The Broncos did the right thing by signing Peyton , he was the best quarterback available and they have great weapons on both sides of the ball and they got the last piece of the puzzle. Tebow was holding them back and the Broncos made the right football move. If you're a Tebow fan or a fan of what Tebow "stands for" you don't know what you are talking about. The only thing that is worse for Tebow besides what the Jets did to him this year are the Tebowmanaics. No team who wants to be a contender or be taken seriously will not take him because of this ridiculous  circus. It's just like when Barry Bonds was a free agent in 2008 , no team wanted him because of  24 circus that followed him. Broncos fans please take the week to clear your minds. You'll see I am right.

 I am probably blowing this out of proportion because it's all over my hometowns papers and I saw a bunch of tweets so I could just be making a big deal out of nothing but this shouldn't have been a story.Peyton Manning is going to bring the Broncos back to the playoff next year and really it will be better for the Broncos because not only will they get a playmaker in the draft and they will get their #1 running back ... back . So clam the fuck down Denver it's not like you're  Dallas, Jacksonville, San Diego , Philadelphia , Arizona, New York, Chicago, and Oakland . Plus you got cheerleaders like this so life anit too bad.
                                              

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hall of fame ... More like Hall of Shame or Hall of Game or Hall of Justice ? I don't know this ballot is messed up

 Hey everyone , how was your holiday season? Good I hope ... actually I don't give a shit about what you did like how you don't give a shit about what I did. That's what makes our relationship so strong and everlasting.  So I haven't done this thing in a few days or weeks, well since before New Year's Eve. Which has lost a lot of its luster in my mind?.   This is for older people , remember the first few NYEs after you turned 21 and life was good. But unless you are always going to a different place every year its pretty much the same thing. Bunch of drinks before midnight, a quick motor skill test, and then getting blacked out.

  I don't want to write about what a bummer drinking holidays are these days. I want to talk about the up coming Baseball Hall of Fame vote that is coming up. The 2013 baseball vote has been the most talked about and the least cared about induction ever.  Everyone has their own feelings about the steroid era and anyone who said that they hated this era  is lying to themselves and should not be trusted. The Steroid era  gave new life to baseball and changed the game to what we have today. You think back in 1962 shortstops were crushing 20 home runs a year? And I know a lot of you are think 20 home runs by a short stop is not a lot but I ask you to remember that not too long ago short stops used to hit .260 with 1-5 home runs and would just be there for defense and speed.  After the strike in 1994 and the 1995 season baseball needed to get back in the good graces of the American public because lets face it. Baseball is a great game when you know how it's played and you can enjoy all the small things but lets face it a lot of people and I mean  a lot of people only want to see three things Home Runs, Prefect games and Walk Off Home runs. Since it's easier to hit a bunch of dingers  then put down 27 monsters with sticks people flocked back to baseball in 98.... Oh fuck this you want history watch Ken Burns Baseball , I anit  got all night and you don't really want a history lesson. The point of this post is to give my ballot for the hall and maybe a few witty lines.... Seriously watch it, its pretty awesome.


1. Mike Piazza - The all time home run leader for catchers, thousand something rbis, and around 2,000 hits. Also he hit the most American of home runs. I think that should seal the deal. Ok I might be biased because #31 played for my Mets and was my mothers favorite player. But he earned it, being drafted as a favor in the 100000000000000th round by the Dodgers back in the late 80's as a favor and because Tommy Lassoed  loved his sweet sweet mustache that isn't gay at all. Let Mike he caught a ton of games and when he started to break down in his mid to late 30's it proved he wasn't on the juice because playing over 150 games in the cold and heat behind the plate taking a beating before running into the catcher was deemed a no no  after Buster Poesy got run over two years ago.  Piazza was tough and Piazza was the face of two franchise.... The Mets and Marlins.   That was one glorious day.

2. Craig Biggio  - The scrapper from Smithtown LI . STRONG IZLAND IN DA HOUSE. Actually Smithtown  is a very nice town with a lot of trees ,white people, and baseball.  But Biggio  has 3,000 hits and that's it. He played all his years with Astros which on its  own is pretty impressive. Only one World Series appearance and being the ultimate  game moving from catcher to second base to center field back to second base with no crying. Oh yeah he also is the Major league leader in getting hit by a pitch.

3. That dude who jumped from space - He Jumped from space! What did you do Ken Rosenthal? Wear a bow tie on national T.V without irony. He's in the big leagues and you're scraping around in rookie ball.

4. The cookie Crisp burglar guy - I was in the old food shoppe a few days back and I wondered down the cereal  isle and taking a look at all the sugary based cereals that I once devoured. I picked up  one of my favorite cookie based cereals and they changed the character to some sort of dingo. Needless to say I am boycotting Cookie Crips  ... even though I haven't had it in 15 years . The Boycott continues!( Start the clip at 1:44)

5. Derek Jeter's magical condoms - He either sold his soul to the devil or cut his life line but how does a guy who is probably on pace to break the all time record set by Wilt the pipe layer Stilt Chamberlain of 20,000 women go with out making a child?  The man has to be magic or something. Seriously if you don't live in the NY area and you want to know the effect of DJ3k on the ladies.   Ok take the coolest most smoothest cat in the world : Ernie Hudson and multiply him by 45,000. Lesser athletes have been shackled down with baby momma's and paternity tests. Jeets   has to be some sort of deviant but since he probably has a night club in his house so his deviantness stays in the dark. I figure the dwarf that made his protection had to of made Thor's hammer.

6. Barry Bonds - he did hit the most home runs ever. But he is not as high as the guy who jumped from space.

7. The people who shoot food commercials — those devils make eating at Applebee's  good. With what they do with playdogh is on par with what Picasso did with finger paints.

Finally #8 Me - I think I deserve it  because if I have to hear how John Haymen , Ken Rosenthal  and Chris"Mad Douche" Russo are respected baseball minds then I might be the best of them all. Look I know I am wrong a lot of the time but I don't have the sources they do so when I am right about trades or line up moves or how disappointing Spiderman was I  feel I should be acknowledged with a plaque of my likeness. If you want to throw stats out there how about this 3 fantasy football championships,a .600 hitter in softball and I have over 500 votes for the MLB All Star game ( they allow you to write yourself in how awesome is that). That means something right? Bob Costas would agree with me so fuck off.



Yeah I think 8 is enough . It's 2 am . As you can tell this sucks but I needed to get it out there. I've made my case and tomorrow we will see how the votes tally. Like always if I mention Derek Jeter I have to throw a photo Minka Kelly in here somewhere.